Oh my god out of ALL the things I want to write or to read, all the things I could be writing, I'm going to write you a story with a ship involving a GOD DAMNED TRIANGLE DEMON WHERE DID I GO WRONG
DO PEOPLE EVEN DO DISCLAIMERS ANYMORE? I AM BUT A RELIC OF 2005
Honestly I see it more of a Mabel thing to do puns at Bill but let's pretend that Dipper has an affinity for puns and that our mystery twins make horrible puns together ok? JUST LET ME WRITE THIS FOR MY FRIEND
It had been only a month since Bill Cipher had been trapped in this disgusting human form, but despite all past wrongdoings, he was slowly becoming closer to the Pines family.
Case in point, Dipper's shit-eating grin as he saw Bill, before taking out a piece of paper, and beginning to recite from it.
"Hey Bill, you're looking a bit TANgled up!"
No...
"Take it iscocelEASY!"
NO!
"After all, being tense is a SIN of stress, which you SE, CAN'T you? My POINT that is."
"Pine Tree I swear to whatever bullshit deity you humans are calling God these days..." Bill groaned at the horrible wordplay coming from Dipper. As if he wasn't already aware of all the possible puns that come with being a demon who's preferred form was a triangle.
Dipper continued on his tirade of amazing, genius wordplay, "What? Am I coming from the wrong ANGLE? Maybe if you looked at it from another SIDE, we'd be more CONGRUENT on our views here!"
"Pine Tree..." Bill was starting to get irritated, but only in the way that one gets when assaulted by puns. He could not help the slight amusement he was feeling from all the honestly shitty triangle puns, but it was more from the way that Dipper would just not fucking stop.
"Alright, I get it, maybe should be SCALENE it back, but I'm just not feeling up to being OBTUSE about ACUTE triangle in he- Wait, what?" Dipper faltered and looked down at his list of shitty triangle puns, courtesy of Mabel. He hadn't actually scanned all of them thouroughly. Though they weren't his puns, he was still uncomfortable calling the demon who tried to end the fucking world "cute". Bill was only here because of a deal, after all.
Bill wasn't phased by Dipper faltering, but did take the opportunity he was given.
"You need to iscoceLEAVE," Bill said, before snapping his fingers. While his powers were extremely restrained in this form, he could still do simple alteration magic.
This included making everything pine-scented. However, Bill made it strong so it smelled like one had a pine tree branch up their nose, and also in their mouth.
Hmm, in his mouth. But, that was to thought about later. Bill narrowed his eyes at the trope of euphemisms causing passing thoughts. Whoever was in charge of writing was doing a poor job of sinning.
At any rate, Dipper started coughing from how pungent the scent of pine was before making his escape. He didn't realize the joke until he could breathe again.
"Dammit Bill," and with that, Dipper had been bested.
THERE I DID IT I WROTE SOmE FUCKING BULLSHIT ARE YOU HAPPY
MY FRIEND WANTED A SHITTY FIC WHERE DIPPER MAKES TRIANGLE JOKES AND BILL MAKES EVERYTHING PINE SCENTED IN RETALIATION
ALSO I HAVE A HEADCANON THAT BILL AS AN OMNIPOTENT DEMON CAN SENSE THAT HE'S IN A SHITTY FANFIC. I KNOW HE HAS NO INDICATIONS OF FOURTH WALL KNOWLEDGE BUT I'M A SLUT FOR THAT SO
