Harry Potter and the Gay Bar
Authors Note:
Wes is weirdo nerds, eh eh eh
wes credit JK, Disney, Garth Nix and Usz
is smexy to Hobbits and Smurfz alike methinks
RUM is the answer to everything ja
Eats our enjambment lol!!
Swifty- We wuz here but now wez gone, wez left this shiz to turn you on:
Chapter 1
Back and forth Harry paced outside the Room of Requirement, Ron anxiously muttering incantations under his breath:
"Lumos, Nox, Lumos, Nox-"
"For God's sake Ron will you stop playing with your wand!" Hermione whined as Ron continued to feebly light his wand and extinguish it.
"Sorry Hermione" Ron said guiltily looking down at the offending article.
"It's ready!" exclaimed Harry, curtailing the impending argument, "Okay let's get in there then" Shoving Hermione and Ron through the newly appeared door Harry noticed Draco Malfoy coming around the corner, and feeling like a fresh start on their loose relationship gestured him in as well, "Coming?"
"Yes indeed" replied Draco enthusiastically, skipping towards the open door, feeling hopeful, "why thank you Harry, I feel- THE GAY BAR?!"
"Sorry it was all I could think about, and you know how literal the Room is-"
"HARRY, WHY ARE WE IN A GAY BAR?!" exclaimed Hermione calmly who had been glancing around the room in contempt for some time.
"Erector Pilli" yelled Ron, feeling a need to contribution to the conversation in some way, accidentally pointing his wand at Hermione's face,
"Oh my Gawd- my eyebrows! I can't see" said Hermione, stacking over a chair as her eyebrows grew to the same proportions and density as Russell Brant's hair, at which point she stumbled out of the newly founded Gay Bar, sobbing into her spectacular and very feminine facial hair.
"Oops," said Ron sounding not at all guilty, "Aw well, she had it coming…. OMG, Malfoy put your clothes back on!!!" Malfoy, who was dancing on a table naked, climbed back down and grabbed some random man's clothes that had been conveniently left on the chair next to him,
"Sorry," he mumbled, "I was bored and no one was talking to me… Harry told me to…" Upon his mentioning everyone glanced at Harry in confusion, only to become even more confused upon seeing him amidst performing the YMCA with some sailors (and we all know what they do in the Navy…) …
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Mr Becket Bucket, chief executive of the east India trading company, wandered into his new office at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry. Why it was there no one knows (well to teach witches and wizards of course), but it was. He looked bemusedly around for his new co-worker, of whom he could see no sign. Still failing to see anyone he tuned to inspecting the plaque on the door,
"S-P-A-R-R-oh…" suddenly coming to a realisation about who's name it was he was reading he voiced an entirely improper opinion, "oh crap! SPARROW!!"
"Yes." Announced the amazingly dashing pirate Captain Jack Sparrow, whilst clambering out of the giant wardrobe that was there for no apparent reason.
"Sparrow...you're a pirate, so why are you in my office?" Bucket-I mean-Beckett said with a tone of long suffering, a reproachful and quite honestly disgusted look on his face, "and what is that you are wearing on your head?"
"Well my friend, it happens to be all your important documentations from the last six months, fashioned using intricate paper folding techniques taught to me by sea turtles, and made into my perfect hat, of which I am now wearing" Jack said flashing Beckett a strange rum-induced grin. Beckett looked at him strange then ran away.
As Jack watched Beckett run away there was a strange muffled cry from the general direction of the wardrobe and out burst James Norrington, unfortunately catless. He promptly stacked into Beckett's desk.
"Am I too late?" he mumbled sheepishly, or should I say Norringtonishly.
Authors Note:
Temporary.Bobs-What do they do in da Navy? I'll ask Jem eh!?
You still owe me 50p Swifty but alas she is skint
Poor Swifty
Yamiswift- I might be skint but at least I don't stack into BUS STOPS
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