Yup, yet another OshiAto :)
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On with the story.
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" Things change, Keigo. And then they change some more… "
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He never quite forgot some of the last words she said, whether they were words of wisdom, or philosophy, it was rather difficult to deduce at that time, seeing as the woman he called mother obviously had one glass of wine too many, after yet another heated discussion with his father…
A few stray tresses loosely dangled near her waist, having escaped the neat hair style which previously held them in place, as she had further tried to elaborate on the first meeting between herself and his father - and even in the state of inebriation, even while rambling incoherent words about how his father wooed her in days of courtship, she was still beautiful, elegant. A lady in every which way, her smile was infectious.
" Go to sleep, mother. " he had silently requested at that time, soft sigh almost inaudible.
And she had done that, without any protest.
She just never woke up.
/ Things changed./
He was sixteen at that time.
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The funeral was not a quiet affair, the Atobe name attracted, no commanded attention, even at the few times he wished otherwise.
He did not shed any tears, it was not expected of him and he didn't even feel like it. He was not particularly close to her ( he was a rich boy with busy, busy parents ), and for a moment he was unsure as to what he should be feeling.
Yuushi was there, so were the rest of them. He did not really remember the last time Jiroh was so awake without being hyper. Neither did he remember a time when Gakuto had been more silent, even Kabaji looked different for some reason.
Only when everything had been said and done, and he stepped inside again, did he feel that the mansion which had always been empty to begin with, seemed emptier than before.
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They said it was an overdose of medication, an unfortunate accident.
He couldn't help but think it was the illness of the heart.
/ Hearts are weak. /
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Two months always pass away quickly.
And while life continued, he started noticing… inconsistencies… little changes. He could not go wrong with this – his insight extended far beyond tennis.
He couldn't quite explain it, it was like something was wrong with the whole picture, not ordinary wrong, like glitches or flaws, but 'seriously wrong' – something fatal, and in spite of knowing it, he just couldn't put his finger on it, see what it was. It was annoying.
/ Because change is frustrating – and the restlessness doesn't end there. /
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" Are you following the schedule the coach assigned to you? "
" Yes, Atobe. " Yuushi takes out some books from his locker.
" Even you cannot afford to be so relaxed this time, Yuushi. We are not in middle school anymore. "
" I'm aware of that. " the trickster replies, closing the locker, slinging the bag on his shoulder.
" You know, if you…" Atobe starts.
" Buchou. " the blunette cuts in, which is odd, since he cannot really recollect a single time when Yuushi, or anyone had dared to interrupt him, and since when did Yuushi start calling him ' Buchou ' anyway? Especially since he is not the captain yet, they are still first years after all, another oddity. " I know. "
/ Have things already changed so much?/
And then Yuushi gives him that look, which makes him want to snap.
' What do you want? What are you not telling me? Just why are you looking at me with such eyes? '
But of course, he doesn't say anything, and neither does Yuushi.
/ The silence always speaks a language too difficult to understand. /
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Atobe thought he was starting to understand her words now, even though they made no sense whatsoever at that time.
One thing was certain, he did not fancy this change.
---------------------------------------- -----He did not bother to keep track of how long things went on like that, and before he knew it, Hyoutei had already made it to the semifinals that year, while he was not the captain, his performance was nothing short of excellent, captaincy was an assured position in the next year, glory was restored to the name of Hyoutei.
He even got to play in a match with Tezuka this time.
And this time, he lost, but it was a good game, an extremely close one at that, even more so than the last time, one which left little room for doubts about the talent of the two players on the field.
Even so, even as they were playing, he could have imagined it, but the surroundings…
/ Were losing color. /
---------------------------------------- -----" You could have won today. " Yuushi's voice is nothing short of accusing.
" You underestimate him, Yuushi." The truth is he was well aware of the fact - and it was bothering him more then he would have liked.
/ Truth cannot be denied. /
Again, Yuushi looks like he wants to say something, but changes his mind half way, instead settling for a simple, " Right. "
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He surprised when he got a chance opportunity to talk to Tezuka in private, when both the teams were engaged in packing, just a little prior to leaving.
How long had he secretly wished for this to happen? To talk to Tezuka Kunimitsu, the sturdy brick wall, pillar of Seigaku. Often, he had wondered what course their conversation would take if such an opportunity were to present itself, he had wondered if he could get under that facade; get Tezuka to squirm at least a little, like he did with everybody else.
This was precisely why he was stunned when he was unable to come up with much to say.
Tezuka answered in " Hn's." and nods, this was not the way he had imagined it would go, he was expecting it to be far more interesting than this, and for a moment he found himself wondering just what was going on, and why was he even here in the first place.
/ Everything becomes lackluster. /
And he gratefully excused himself when Yuushi came to call him.
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Her words came to haunt him anyway.
He realized that everything had already changed - to the extent he couldn't recognize anything anymore.
Even talking to Jiroh felt distant, which was somewhat annoying, because unlike with Yuushi, he couldn't really even bring himself to glare at the boy, always having had a soft corner for the chubby blond.
/ Is there nothing to do, but accept?/
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So somehow in these past few months, the world had become more antisocial, at least his acquaintances had started treating him differently, not to mention even tennis did not feel the same, which was mildly frightening because tennis had been his whole life as far as he could remember, to lose tennis…well lets just say he couldn't even begin to think what would be left after that.
He banged the locker door shut, with slight irritation. That was enough thinking or one day.
Still, he couldn't help but wonder if she had been experiencing the exact same emotions as him right now – just before it was decided her time here was over.
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" Don't take it out on the locker. " the soft drawl effectively snapped him out of his reverie, he chose to ignore that remark though, and his only response was a slight narrowing of the eyes.
" You look pale. " Yuushi drawled again.
" None of your business. " This time Atobe snapped. He was already at the end of his patience.
" Atobe? " the other questioned.
" Now is not a good time. " He took a deep breath, " As you can see, I'm not in a great mood. " he instead concentrated on tying his shoelaces, only just noticing how the whole room was empty save for the two of them. Had he really taken that long in the shower?
" May I ask ….why? " the tensai inquired casually.
" No you may not. " Atobe shook his head, walking past the other – he was done here.
" Look at me, Atobe. " Yuushi gripped his shoulder, effectively stopping him in his step.
" And just what do you think you are doing? " Atobe all but hissed, he was really not in the mood for this.
At times like this he felt somewhat cheated, their physical differences were obvious, he hated to remind himself, Yuushi was taller, and possibly stronger than him, if that grip was any testimony in that direction.
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" We need to talk. " Yuushi was as persistent as ever.
" I have nothing to discuss with you. " He did not struggle, knowing full well it would more likely be a futile effort, and he tended not to waste his energy on futile things.
"….." Silence, and no change in the situation.
"….." Did Yuushi really want to hear it so badly?
Apparently so, either way, he himself had no intention of spending the night in the locker room, it would be better to get this over with.
" Everything has changed, Yuushi. Everything, everyone… " he muttered, leaving the rest unsaid. ' There, happy? Now let me go..'
He could feel the other's hold on his shoulder relax.
Yuushi shook his head.
" The only one who has changed here is you. "
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' Me? '
/ Change comes in all forms. /
His eyes widened. And just like that, all the pieces of the puzzle started falling into place.
" You didn't mourn her properly. All this time, you have been thinking of her. " Yuushi slowly turned him around, as if expecting him to bark or bite any second.
" I was not close to her…" he muttered, feeling obliged to disagree.
" Atobe, it hasn't even been a year. " the blunette shook his head.
He took a deep breath. " I just told her to sleep. I wasn't even listening to what she was saying…" and he found himself concentrating on the far side window instead of Yuushi.
" It's not your fault. You couldn't have seen it coming. " Yuushi almost scolded. Almost.
Again, he stayed silent, he felt his eyes sting, and blinked it away. If only he had known, if only he had somehow sensed it…
Yuushi simply nodded and left, giving him time to collect himself properly.
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" Thank you. "
He may be arrogant, ruthless, and a lot of other things, but he is most definitely not an ingrate.
So the next day, he joined the tensai after practice ( the first thing he did that day was visit her grave of course ) at the all too familiar locker room, again they have both waited till everyone has drifted away.
Today was a lot better already, even practice went smoothly, and the experience of the past months was beginning to feel like a hostile dream.
" No problem. " the tensai paused. " If you want, you could consider repaying the favor though. " a light smirk played on his lips.
Atobe almost frowned. Maybe he was being too grateful…
" You see, I wanted to change one last thing. " Yuushi turned to face him.
" What is it? " Atobe muttered, wondering just what is he stepping foot into this time.
" This…"
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And this would definitely be a major change, because Yuushi had cupped his face, and was now kissing him softly, and for some reason, he was unable to push away, or break off, he knew it was strange, both of them being boys and all, but it was Yuushi, and it all just felt so darn right…
The tensai drew back for lack of oxygen.
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" You.. have got some nerve.." and he pulled Yuushi in a lip lock again.
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Yes this would change a lot of things again, no, make that everything, even so…
/ Not all changes are for the worse. /
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And this change is more than welcome.
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Owari
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A/N: Reviews loved :D so if you liked it, tell me?
