A.N. This is my first fanfic so I hope you like it, I am writting this fanfiction with my friend, her account is thaliavamps28 so follow her (UPDATE- I'm writing this fanfic on my own now). I also want to warn that I'm not English or American neither is my friend and this fanfiction may have some grammar mistakes.We're just doing this because we love the books and the movies of The Hunger Games. Don't forget to review and favourite!
Winter was always the worse season for my family and basically for every family in District 12. The cold wouldn't allow me to catch much game and the little amount I got was barely enough to sell and get money to even buy a loaf of bread to feed my family.
But now since the games ended and I came back home I don't need to worry about starvation. I still hunt but it's mostly to help Gale's family and other families from my district. Peeta does the same but instead of game he gives pastries and bread he bakes.
Everything was going well for me but there was a tiny part of brain that was always thinking of one night on the train back to district 12 from the Victory Tour which changed every plan I had before.
Flashback to Victory Tour
"AHHHHH!" I wake up screaming from a terrible nightmare again. This time I watched while the mutant dogs from the arena slowly took out parts of Peeta's and Prim's bodies and I was stuck, as if seeing through a glass window, without being able to do anything but watch and listen. Hearing their painful screams as they teared them limb by limb made it unbearable. I couldn't breath but I also couldn't take my eyes off of the traumatic scene. By the time I woke up, the mutants had ripped their bodies until there was nothing left but pieces of flesh and bones spread out through the ground.
I sit up, light the lamp beside my bed and put my legs on the side of it ready to stand up. But before I do, Peeta appears at the door of my room alarmed. He looks me over to confirm that I'm not hurt. As he does that, I sigh with relief and mentally assure myself "It was only a dream. He's okay. Prim's fine back at home.".
"Are you okay? What's wrong, Katniss? I heard you screaming." He asks nervously as he passes a hand through his hair.
"I'm okay, Peeta. It was just a nightmare, as usual." I reply trying to get my breath regular again. His shoulders go down, he's clearly relieved that it's not something worse but he still looks sad because I know he doesn't like when I have nightmares just as I don't like when he has them too. Even though most of the times I can't tell when he's having a nightmare since he's always so quiet as if he doesn't want to disturb anyone with his pain.
"Do you want me to stay?" He asks walking towards my bed. He already knows what my answer is but I still nod. I raise the sheets for him to lay down next to me and put my head on his chest to hear his heartbeat strong and fast. He puts his arms around me and looks at ceiling.
"What are you thinking about?" I question him after a few seconds of silence. He turns to face me and stares at me for long time.
"Katniss..." Peeta puts his hand on my cheek and strokes it gently. "I love you so much." I feel heat rising to my cheeks and break our intense stare. I look down not knowing what to say or do. I don't need to say anything because Peeta still hasn't finished what he wants to say. "I know you don't feel the same as me but I know you care about me enough to not wanting to kill me in that arena. I just want to tell you that I know this but I will keep taking care of you and protect you with all I've got and I will never stop loving you. Even if you don't feel the same." He says this last sentence quietly, almost as whisper to himself.
I raise my head to watch him and find tears in his eyes. I can feel his sadness and my heart is breaking and hurting. For him. I do the only thing I think that can relieve both our pains. I kiss him.
He doesn't kiss me back at first probably because I caught him off guard. I understand him, we never kissed without a camera in front of us or a crowd around us. That's what makes this moment special, makes it real. I'm not kissing him because I have to, I'm doing it because I want to. After he understands that I'm kissing him he starts to finally kiss me back and this when I start to feel that same hunger I felt in the cave, that same feeling of want and desire that cannot be fulfilled with a few kisses.
His lips are soft and warm, making me feel safe, at home. He smells like roses mixed with cinnamon, a weird combination that you would never think of but once you smell it, it gets you addicted. He's the most delicious scent I have ever inhaled and I just want to smell him forever and ever.
My arms start to explore him more now, I touch his chest and feel his heart beat strong and fast through his shirt. But suddenly he pushes me back. I look at him confused. My lips feel swollen and sore. I bet I look like a wild animal from the woods. "What's wrong?" I ask.
"Why are you doing this? Why now?" He strikes back. Peeta isn't usually a straight-forward person, he prefers to keep most of his thoughts to himself if he knows the person listening might not enjoy it. Tonight, he has been the most honest and expressive version of himself.
I stop a little to think what I'm doing. I'm kissing Peeta but why? Is it because I love him? Is it because he's sad? Is it only to quench the hunger inside me that grows when around?
I say the only thing I know that I'm sure. "Because I care about you." And I kiss him again. And again. And again. And again. This time he doesn't stop me.
The kisses turn to touches. We explore each other's bodies slowly like we never have before, not even in the cave. And gently he makes love to me.
That's the moment that I know.
I'm a goner.
Flashback ends
After we came back home we didn't talk much but almost every night he would come to my house and we would fall asleep together. But then I started getting sick, I said to Prim that it was probably food poisoning from something I'd eaten and she just looked concerned and worried as if it was something bigger. I told Peeta to not come to my house that night because I couldn't stop vomiting and he was of course extremely worried. The problem is that two months later I was still throwing up (it had decreased to a small amount each day) so it meant it was definitely not food poisoning. In addition I had started to notice some weird changes in my body like my hips were wider and my breasts were fuller and I had gained a little bit of weight making my face look rounder. I thought this symptoms were unrelated to each other and since I had more food nowadays and had a better diet, I blamed that for the increase of weight.
The third symptom happened or I guess didn't happen after two weeks of the other two. My period. I don't even remember how it all had developed but suddenly I thought of how I hadn't had my period for at least two month now. I never really tracked my menstrual cycle mainly because when you don't eat much food, it usually tends to appear whenever and most months didn't. But now I eat the necessary amount of food so there is no reason at all for this happen. Unless...
My hands are shaking and it's not because of the cold outside but due to the little object in my hands. The object is confirming my greatest fear. The object is a test. A pregnancy test, that I order from the capitol. The pregnancy test is saying the word positive. Positive. Positive for a baby. A tiny human. Inside me. The word rolls around in my brain and even with my eyes closed I can still see it.
I'm pregnant. With Peeta Mellark's baby. The boy with the bread.
"Katniss! Are you okay? You've been in there for a long time now." My mom asks me from the other side of the bathroom door. I leaned on the bathroom's wall, on the floor with my knees pushed to my chest hoping to make myself so small that I will be able to disappear.
"Yeah, just a minute." I manage to say. The thoughts and questions to what's next start arise 'How am I gonna tell Peeta? Should I keep this baby? No, of course not, I mean, not with the games. I'm so confused..'
When I'm out, my mom is waiting for me and I know she knows that I'm upset. I wanna tell her, I want her to help me, to be by my side but I can't, not with the fear that she's going to leave me again.
She doesn't say anything, just takes me to my room. I lay in bed and drift off to sleep.
When I wake up I see that's it's almost dinner time. This day has gone by so fast but at the same time it doesn't feel like the same day. I decide right away that I should tell Haymitch about the baby, maybe he will know what to do. He is my mentor.
I dress for the day or should I say night and go to Haymitch's house. "Haymitch!? Haymitch!?" I knock on his door. Nothing. He's always like this, never answering the door. He's usually pass out drunk somewhere in the house.
The door is unlocked as always. No one would dare to come to his house, everyone knows he sleeps with a knife and he's not afraid to use it. As I enter the house, I feel bile rising up my throat because of the intense smell of alcohol and vomit. I've gotten used to the smell by now but today it's making me feel really sick.
I found him lying on his kitchen floor and I almost throw up on him but luckily I'm able to run fast enough to the bathroom. I puke more than I thought I would and hear Haymitch groaning.
"I HOPE YOU'RE NOT VOMITING ON MY FLOOR WHOEVER YOU ARE!" Haymitch shouts. "THAT'S WHAT I DO!"
I hear footsteps and look behind me while cleaning my mouth with a towel.
Haymitch sees me and looks at me surprised."What the hell are you doing on the bathroom floor, sweetheart?"
"That's why I'm here, to talk to you" I say as I stand up from the floor, go to the sink to wash my mouth with water.
After I follow Haymitch to the living room. He sits on the sofa and I sit opposite of him on a chair.
We stay in silence for while until Haymitch breaks it."So...you're here to talk to me. About what?"
I take a deep breath and let it out.
"I'm pregnant"
Haymitch stays silence with a look on his face that I can't read.
"Is it Peeta's?" He asks doubtfully.
"Of course!" I say loud "Who would it be?" Would he ever think it could ever possibly be Gale's? I don't understand why people can't understand that me and Gale are just best friends and nothing more. We never were and we never will be more than that.
"I was just asking" He murmurs. " So...when did it happen?" He asks quietly.
I feel that this is personal and it should stay between me and Peeta but still I give him an answer he would be satisfied with. "During the Victory Tour"
I'm startled by the unexpected belly that comes from Haymitch. He looks at me with tears in his eyes and just says "Of course!"
"What are you going to do? Are you going to tell him?" Haymitch asks seriously.
"I don't know. That's why I came here. You always know what to do."
"Well, you've got a big problem there, sweetheart. This not an easy fix like that time Cinna couldn't finish your dress in time. This real life we're talking about. " I nod slowly to let him know I understand. "I tell you what. First thing you need to do is tell Peeta and then we'll go from there."
"I'm going to tell him tonight, at dinner" I say
"Do you need me to come?" Haymitch offers.
"Yes, I don't know how Peeta is going to react" I always feel safer with Haymitch around
"I think he will be happy to know the girl he loved since forever is carrying his child." He says with a small smirk on his face.
"I hope so..."
