Cory in the Wasteland

In the midst of the blazing summer heat, the town of Washington D.C was content and were very much used to the heat; however, it was one Cory Baxter and his father who could no seem to find a solution to their scorching hot problem.

"Woo-wee!" Said Cory, as he entered the White House Kitchen from a long, heated walk outside to whip up a snack for himself. He opened the cupboard and found some potato chips. Cory then retrieved a bowl and soon was munching on some of that salty goodness. His father walked in, with a vast look of anger on his face, he saw that Cory had accidentally left the cupboard doors open! The man filled with rage, "Don't be such a wise guy!" And him and Cory settled in silence, as if waiting for something. They manned their positions and soon regained senses when he sounds of agonizing laughter could be heard through the walls of the White House.

After all that, his father said, "Cory, those were the President's Daughter's chips!" It was at that moment that the California Prostitute herself waddled into the room. Cory and his father sprang into action and hid the bag of chips behind their backs. "Hmm..." Said the girl, "I think I want some potato chips!" She said as she happily peered into the cupboard (still open) and her smile slowly, slowly morphed into a frown of sorrow. The father intervened, "Honey, we're sorry, Cory ate a few, but there's still a lot-"

"No!" The girl screamed in rage, "WE DON'T NEED POTATO CHIPS, RIGHT? RIGHT?!"

The girl trampled across the room at the speed of sound as she yelled like some sort of demented Sonic Fan! "WHY CAN'T WE GO BACK TO THE DAYS WHEN PEOPLE THIRSTED FOR NUKES!"

As she said that, she flipped the head of a nearby statue and clicked a bright, red button on the flat surface of the neck. The button read, 'Nuke D.C.'.

As Cory ran out of the White House, he hopped in his dad's convertible and drove as fast as he could, looking back as a bright red missile head began flying out the top of the White House. He broke down the gate and the 'Cory' license plate flew off. All Cory was concerned about was his safety. As he drove like crazy, the bomb went off, and he was outside the D.C city limits and he stopped and stared at the destruction he had created...

Buildings collapsed, cars exploded, and the shrieks of agony from the townspeople could be heard. They were yelling for their lives, men, women, and children were all no more because of Cory Baxter's recklessness.

After watching the city burn, Cory returned to the ashes that once was his fellow city, he gazed on the fields of red and black, he knew what he had to do...

"I'm the President, now!"

Cory began jerking off as he watched D.C crumble into bits. He enjoyed every minute of it, and soon, he dawned the Shirt and Tie, and began transforming into Reggie Filsamech, never to be seen again...

Fallout 3- I mean, Cory in the Wasteland.