Disclaimer: I do not own Tseng, Kadaj, or anyone else in this idiotic poem!

I am Tseng: I'm a waffle.
I make Kadaj feel really awful.
I like to touch Remnants a ton,
Kadaj, he is my favorite one.
Loz, his butt: it is the best,
Yazoo's hair is longer than the rest.
Kadaj he's like a little boy.
That's why I've proclaimed him as my toy.
Now he's dead; I miss him.
Elena doesn't want me to kiss him,
But I'm the waffle of noncon yaoi!
When I had Kadaj, he said "owie!"
Therefore when I think of he,
I want him to be under me.
He is my uke, he is mine
I want to have Vincent Valentine
Rufus Shinra didn't care,
even when I took his underwear
and put it over Palmer's head
he suffocated; now he's dead
Palmer said he'd have Kadaj
while giving me a lard massage
I must kill all those in my way,
I am a waffle that is gay.
Killing Hojo was so fun,
I left that jerk out in the sun.
He boiled away and then he died
I must say nobody even cried
Heidegger was not hard to kill,
he wore a disguise with a duck bill
he said "AFLAC!" and then said "QUACK!"
but I stabbed him in the back.
when he was dead upon the floor,
I did Kadaj, that little whore.
He told me that he hated me so
and that I should just let him go.
But I told him that he should be quiet,
before I put him on the yaoi syrup diet!
He shut up and lay there a while
as he called me names, so vile,
under his breath.
He wished me death
but I wished he would just shut up
so I could go out for a sup.
I ate a steak, I ate some cheese,
I ate some pie, I ate some peas.
Then Reno said I should stop,
but I told him "You're a Turk, not a cop.
Let me eat some more food"
So he climbed under the table and sucked on Rude.
I went home, all drunk on wine,
and found Reno, lookin' so fine
on top of my Kadaj; He's mine, HE'S MINE!
I said "Reno! How could you do this!?"
Reno said "Tseng, you he didn't miss.
I didn't force him, he wanted me."
Kadaj said "Tseng, I just want to be free;
free to do what I want, not your slave anymore."
I said "Shut up, you stupid whore.
Reno, you better leave the room right now.
You've done more than I'll allow,
but I won't fire you, I'll tell you this:
If I find you give him even another kiss.
I'll feed you to the Zolom snake
whose slithers cause a big earthquake."
Reno said "I'm going home now.
Tseng, you nearly ate a whole cow!
Wouldn't you simple crush that boy?"
I said "you shouldn't care, he's not your toy."
Reno left in his car
and he and Rude went to a gay bar.
I'm a waffle, I'm so bad.
I made Jenova so so mad.
Kadaj is gone , He's the life stream's now.
I guess I'll dress as a kitty and say "meow"
I miss my Remnant boys
they made such amazing toys.
But I'm just a waffle man
I did all that I can
So now I must think of who I'll have next.