Disclaimer: Unfortunately, they are not mine. Oh, what I would give for my very own Remus…

Author's note: For some reason, I had the word 'finicky' stuck in my head, so really, what else could be done other than to write a Marauder-based one-shot about it?


"God, Remus, you don't have to be so finicky," Sirius Black said as Remus Lupin scratched out and re-wrote a sentence for what seemed like the hundredth time.

"I am not being finicky, Sirius, I would simply like to get a good grade on this after that last assignment we had to do together…" Remus broke off with a glare at Sirius.

Sirius held up his hands in submission. "Alright Moony, I hear you…" He then slumped back in the chair and folded his arms across his chest. "I just don't get why we have to waste a whole Saturday on this stupid thing. I mean," he waved a hand to the window where sunlight was streaming in "it's a beautiful day outside, and here we are stuck up in this stuffy old castle doing stuffy old Transfiguration essays—"

"With stuffy old Remus?"

Sirius raised his eyebrows in a noncommittal way. Remus glared.

"Anyway," Sirius began hastily as he raised himself back to the table, "it's not due for days, so why, dear Remus, why must we do it today of all days?"

"Because I am not going to have another 'D' on my homework! Do you realize that even Gudgeon and Jorkins managed a 'P'?"

"Well, maybe" said Sirius thinking wildly around for an excuse, "you should have realized that I am not one to be trusted when comes to such petty things as essays when there are much more exciting things to be done. And," he added upon seeing the look on Remus' face, "you must also have realized that I am no where near as talented or intelligent, or, might I add, as forgiving, as you, nor will I ever be."

Remus looked slightly less angry but still reproachful. "Nonetheless, I had my portion done ages before it was due, and you assured me countless times—you even put it in writing—that you would get it done—"

"Ah, but Moony" interjected Sirius, smiling, waving his finger at Remus as if he were scolding a small child "You can't deny that I did actually finish it."

"Oh, yes, if you count—what was it—" Remus reached into his bag and pulled out a scroll of parchment with paragraphs of small neat writing that turned into a large, sloppy scrawl at the end and had a big, black 'D' at the top. "Here we are… 'This quill is hurting my hands and now I'm going to have a blister. Thanks, Minnie, thanks a lot for making me write this bloody thing that is going to turn my soft, beautiful hand into a rubbery, blistered mound that will hang awkwardly at my side for the rest of my life. They should train puffskeins to write whatever you tell them. It would be like your own little fuzzy secretary. I can just imagine it now, hopping along the page…'" Remus broke off and looked up at Sirius. "It was then that you moved onto the likelihood of werewolves and puffskeins mating, I believe?"

"It's not my fault if no one appreciates pure writing talent when they see it!" Sirius said dramatically. "You mark my words, though, my escri-puffs are gonna be big."

"Escri-puffs?" said Remus doubtfully.

"Yes! Escri-puffs! The personal puffskein secretary!"

"Sure, Sirius, whatever you say…"

'In fact," said Sirius, "I better get on this right away. Who knows who could have heard us just now! Or Minnie! She read my essay and I just bet she's already got the puffskeins ready in her office to be trained… Come Moony! We must break into Minnie's office before my idea is stolen and my galleons taken!" With that, he grabbed Remus' arm and dragged him to the portrait hole.

"Wait—what! No! We're not breaking into McGonagall's office! We need to finish the essay! Sirius! Let go of me! Sirius!"


If you care to, I really would much appreciate a review.