Sitting alone before the hearth, he listens to the sound of the fire rolling off the wood, the snaps and pops kept him from slipping into a daze. He kept his gaze fixed on the roaring flames, watching them dance along the slowly charring wood with a lonely fascination. He had spent so long with his thoughts that night, he had wished to slip into a destructive state. But he would not permit himself to do so. He could not so easily let down his guard.
How he longed to forget, how he longed to just let the memories vanish into the darkness. Let himself become that cold figure he was so long ago...if only to let the pain fade away for a little while.
Vergil knew if he did such a thing, it would not only break a heart, but a promise he aimed to keep. He let out a shaky breath as he looked down to the empty bottle of brandy he had spent the night nursing. Though he had a slight headache his buzz was long since gone. He had done nothing but stare at the fire all night.
Was this what his life had become? Endless hours of sitting alone before a fireplace, drinking his sorrows away?
He felt sickened at this, tired that he had let himself become something he hated...something he loathed. Letting his eyes drift shut, he felt his chest grow tight at the realization.
He was turning into his twin. This is all what Dante would do, he would let himself writhe in his agony for a little while, drink himself into a stupor..
No...that is what he would have done.
Before Crisis and the children. Before him. Before he became whole.
Vergil let out a sigh as he swept his hand through his now shoulder length silver hair. How long had it been since he had his last trim? Four...maybe five years now?
He shook his head as he stood up, looking around the room he had decorated for Crisis. Having set up a Christmas tree, even going so far as to decorate the entire dojo to bring up her spirits. She was still sleeping up in her room, hopefully soundly.
Crisis...
The woman he could protect, could spend his days making laugh and smile, the one he cared for more than himself...the one he would never have. She was so close and yet so far from him.
He knew the truth of things, how it would be if they were together, it would end only in tears...and he would leave. It was what he was best at. Vergil had made his peace with what he did long ago. He left when he could not handle his heart, or his emotions. He had done well to resist that so he could be near her and protect her.
But how long could one go on, being near the one they loved and never being able to tell them so? Never being able to show them or lay with them?
Vergil was not one to care about such trivial matters as taking someone to bed and ravishing them. No. He merely wished to lay beside her, to stare at her with his guards down, to show her who he truly was, to let her see the man he never let anyone but his brother see. The one who was little more than a trembling child hiding behind an icy mask.
Sure, she had seen his sadness, his anger, even how he valiantly protected her and even seeing how much he cared for his only spawn. Yet she had never seen how much he loved her.
