A/N: An L/J fic! Woo hooo!
I've never really tried, but I like to be somewhat open-minded J
Bwahahahahahaha! Besides, Iceamethyst is so obsessed w/it (repeat:
bwahahahahahaha!) that I felt I just had to write something!! Review, kind
peoples! I neeeeeeeeeeed reviews! I
think I'm dehydrating from lack of them . . . . . . . im not sure how dungbombs
are detonated, so make something up, will ya? Oh, and I know Dumbledore wasn't
headmaster at the time, but I have no idea who was! ACK! If anyone knows, please
say so in a REVIEW!!! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! Bwahahaha!
Disclaimer: I hate theses damn things. . . . . anyway, everything that belongs to
JKR belongs to her, and everything else belongs to me, capiche? Oh, and
"Jamsie" belongs to Iceamethyst J I couldn't think of a decent nickname . . . . . . .
***
James Potter could not stifle a snicker as he carefully set
the dungbomb in Lily Evans' perfectly made bed. Behind him, an equally gleeful Sirius Black nudged his back with
whispers of "hurry up!" while smirking and looking around the girls' dorm with
barely suppressed interest. And finally, Remus Lupin, standing guard at the
portrait hole, watched anxiously everywhere at once, with worried mutters about
"things blowing up in your face." Remus
had always been the worry rat of the group.
James checked the bomb one last time, making sure it would
go off at 9:00 PM - Little-miss-perfect never missed her bedtime by a second –
and spun around, expecting to see Sirius' happy face.
Cold green eyes met his.
"James Potter," Lily said quietly, shaking her head. "Dear,
dear James. Do you really think me that
unaware? Don't answer that!" she added
sharply, noticing his half-open mouth. " It's rather hard not to think that
you're up to something when Sirius tells the whole school"- James shot Sirius a
baleful look, which was studiously ignored-"or when Remus looks around as
though expecting a Dementor to leap up behind him and perform the Kiss." Remus
who had entered the room, blushed furiously and mumbled something, but Lily did
not stop. "So. The question now is:
What shall I do with you?"
James, who had somehow ended up sitting on the bed – wasn't
it amazing how women managed to look inches taller when they were angry? – cast
her his most defiant glance, daring her to do her worst. At this, she burst out laughing, and his
face darkened even more.
"Aww, widdle Jamsie is a widdle scawed!" she said teasingly.
She had become totally unaware of Sirius, still behind her,
and Remus, wringing his hands. Sirius
looked at James and winked, a rueful look on his face. James wondered what he was up to, but he had
no doubt it would get them into even deeper trouble than they already
were.
". . . then, after I report you to Dumbledore, I'll need to
teach you a little lesson myself . . ." Lily continued in a lecturing tone,
completely oblivious to the devious boy behind her.
Sirius pulled out his wand as slowly as humanly possible so
he didn't make any noise to remind Lily of his being there. He pointed it at her back and whispered,
"Dishabirimius."
Lily's eyes popped open, and outrage painted her every
feature. Remus, shocked, had buried his
red face in his hands and was whimpering fitfully about getting killed by a
redheaded female. Sirius had dropped to
the floor and was clutching his sides, laughing uncontrollably.
James was as stunned as Lily. She stood in front of him, clad only in her bra and underwear,
with her mouth dropped open. Come to
think of it, though, James thought as he cocked his head, she didn't look half
bad. She had quite some curves, for a
girl that age, and . . .
"You'll regret this, Potter. I swear you will," Lily said in icy tones, gathering her robes in
front of her.
James only grinned and hopped off the bed before she could
say more. Remus had already gone, and
Sirius had somehow managed to roll down the stairs while laughing. He could hear faint moans of pain getting
louder as he neared the common room. He
smirked and rubbed his hands.
Humiliation was always better than a physical prank. Always.
***
Lily dropped onto her bed, infuriated. How had Sirius learned that spell was
the one thing she really wanted to know. Because where there was one spell,
there were others. Oh, yes there
were. And she would find them. James was going to pay for doing this to
her, even if it had not been public.
She snatched another robe from her closet and yanked it on
before proceeding to brushing her hair, her mind working furiously. Obviously no teacher could have possibly
taught him that spell, and she didn't think Sirius had somehow invented a new
spell. The very notion was
ridiculous. It was Sirius, after
all. So, boring down the possibilities,
that left a book. Sirius must have
bought a book of prank spells.
The question now was how to get to that book. Oh, she could sneak in, but she knew how
creaky those chests were, and James was a very light sleeper. She had found that out the hard way. No.
After all, Lily Evans was not all smiles for the teachers and perfect
grades. She did have a devious side.
What she needed was for someone to give her the book, so she would not have to
through this business of snooping around.
And she knew just the person.
***
"You want me to get you the book Sirius used for that
spell?" Remus asked incredulously.
"Why?"
"Why?" Lily asked in a slow, sultry voice. "Why? Because, sweet Remus, you don't mean to tell
me you're going to let Sirius and James get away with what they did, do
you?" She hopped from the cushy sofa
she had been sitting on and sat on Remus' lap, which in truth made him feel
quite uncomfortable. She looked up at
him through long lashes and stuck out her bottom lip slightly. "Please,
Remus? I know you had no part in it; I
trust you. Don't you think what they
did was wrong?"
"Well, yeah," Remus answered, shifting uncomfortably. "It's
just . . "
"That they're your friends?
And you don't want to betray them?"
"Er. . . yeah, I guess you could say that . . ."
Lily snuggled up against his chest and sighed softly. Remus was beginning to panic.
"Remus,
Remus, Remus. You're not betraying
them, or going behind their backs.
You're just doing me a little favor."
She reached up and stroked the side of his neck softly, giving him
goosebumps, and whispered, "Please?"
Remus couldn't stand it anymore. It wasn't that he didn't like having a girl on his lap - she felt
nice, in fact – but this was Lily!
Unfortuneatley, he had the feeling she wouldn't back down until he
agreed.
"Alright," he sighed, "I'll do it!"
"Ooh, I knew you would," Lily cooed.
With a pat on the cheek and a kiss on his nose, she
gracefully stood up and walked slowly to her room, hips swaying.
Remus scrubbed a nervous hand through his hair and exhaled
slowly. Did women learn to do that in
their cradles? He could feel his
heartbeat beginning to slow, and his breath becoming rythmicall again, but he
knew they had been racing for some time because of her.
He stood up and shook out his legs, then took another deep
breath before walking unsteadily towards his room.
***
James and Sirius were already sitting on James' bed when
Remus arrived, talking rapidly about what they should do next with the famed
prank book.
" I still say we use this one," Sirius said, obviously not
for the first time. " 'After this spell has been recited, the person will
passionately love the person she hates the most for one full day.' Can you
imagine perfect Lily Evans hounding some poor wretch the whole day? It'll be
hilarious!"
James sighed.
"Sirius, how many times do I have to tell you how easily that could
backfire? What if the person she hates
the most is me?"
"All the better! We
could totally humiliate her in front of the whole school, and she won't even
care! . . . Until later."
James blinked and opened his mouth, then noticed the shape
ambling into the room.
"Remus!" he exclaimed. "Where have you been? The last time I saw you, you were in the
common room with Lily Evans" – he managed to put a considerable amount of spite
into those two words – "and that was an hour ago!"
Remus looked around anxiously, looking very much like a
mouse cornered by a cat, and stammered excuses.
"Well, uh, you see, Lily, she . . .er, well, see, she wanted
to, um, yell at me for . . . for what happened, and . . ."
"And you let yourself get caught!" Sirius finished with a
laugh. "I swear, the only way to get out of a lecture from her is to slip away
when she stops to breathe!"
Remus nodded, looking considerably relieved, and asked
Sirius what James thought was a rather odd question coming from Remus' mouth.
"Say, Sirius, do you mind if I borrow that book when you
guys are finished with it? I wanna read
it before I fall asleep . . ."
Sirius waved it off, intent on the book.
"Sure thing, Remus.
But seriously, now. What do you
think of this spell?"
***
Lily laughed softly to herself and rubbed her hand
together. It had worked like a
charm. She had doubted Remus would fall
for her "playgirl" attitude, but apparently she had been wrong. She allowed herself another giggle before
entering the room she shared with two others, Becca and Kat.
As soon as she entered, Becca leaped up from her spot on her
bed, Kat not far behind.
"Where have you been?!" she demanded, hugging her. "I
haven't seen you since yesterday!"
"Yeah," added Kat. "You're not . . . you're not dissing us,
are you?"
Lily felt guilty not telling them where she had been. They were her friends, after all.
"Of course no! I've
just been a little . . .busy."
"Ooooh, I know what that means!" Becca squealed. "James did
something again, didn't he? Didn't he?"
"Do tell!" Kat added.
They all sat on their beds while Lily told them
everything. About noticing Remus'
sudden avoidance of her and frequent hand-wringing all the way to Sirius'
wretched spell.
"So now," she concluded, "I have to get back at them."
"And you're going to use that book?" Kat asked.
"Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!"
"You'll let us help, right?
Right?" Becca added excitedly.
"Of course I'll let you in on it! This isn't the sort of thing one does alone!"
They giggled agreement and shifted on the beds.
"So when is 'dear sweet Remus' bringing this book?" Kat
asked, always the practical one.
"He said he should be able to bring it around midnight, when
James and Sirius are asleep.
"In that case, maybe we sleep. It's another"-she glanced quickly at the alarm clock on the
nightstand-"two hours or so until he comes."
Becca grinned. "Hopefully the lovesick idiot will have the
sense to wake us up; he probably won't be able to breathe when he sees Lily!"
This provoked a new fit of giggles, that only died away
completely when everyone was in bed and the lamps turned off.
Lily was just about to fall asleep when Kat mumbled drowsy
question.
"Lily?"
"Hmm?"
"Why don't you want to get back at Sirius instead of James?"
"Go to sleep, Kat.
It's late . . ."
***
A/N: It's the end! WAAAAAAAAH!!! Great sadness. Don't worry, though! More to come! If anyone has an idea for a good prank Lily
and her compadros could play on James, please email me at lionlady68@yahoo.com . I could come up
with something myself, but, hey, I'd rather use someone else's imagination :-P
Don't worry, I'll give due credit!