Note:
This is a sequel to a previous fic: Animorphs Invades Whose Line is it Anyway?
So you might want to read that before you go into this. It's a little slow in
the beginning but a plot eventually forms. Or not, it isn't terribly huge, you might be a little lost from time to
time. Whose Line? is still not mine, and Animorphs too, because KAA might sue.
Dude ya, just ignore that crazy fanfic writer…but read this first….
You
will love this if you enjoy: Animorphs, WhoseLine?, fanfiction and Linkin Park
Rain pelted the windows mercilessly as
actor and comedian Colin Mochrie sat on his couch, shifting uneasily. It had
only been a month or so, 71 days, since his encounter with the bizarre. The
surreal events still clung to his memory, hanging around like a ghost. It wasn't everyday somebody gets turned into
a goat or watches as his friend beats
the stuffing out of a fourth dimensional being. He was used to strange things
happening on the show, with Drew Carey hosting as usual. That's what Whose Line? was all about. But it wasn't
a hilarious goof up or unexpected arrival of a person that Colin shivered in
remembering. It was seeing aliens and being
aliens, not to mention entertaining them. Being held in their awkward grip.
Colin's hand flew to his head, an
action that had become a habit by now. Nope. No hair. He was still bald. He
held his breath. Nope. No booming voice, no thought speak either. He sighed and
sank further into the couch, his fingers twitching occasionally on the remote.
"You gotta let go of it Colin. It's
over, you're being paranoid." He told himself. He was too. Every animal he saw
that showed a speck of human in it, he tied to a pole and waited for two hours.
He would sit in silence, trying to tune
into thought speak. He could morph still, but he didn't dare. Morphing brought
back….strange memories. Disturbing memories, however funny they were. He would
keep every shudder of laughter inside. He feared that if he ever started
laughing, he'd never stop.
"…presenting contestant number one!"
Click.
" But Monica! You can't marry
Chandler!"
Click.
" I thought your mom was your dad
since she had a penis."
"What! You @!#^#%^@!3!"
Click.
" Why did you call her 99?"
"Because I don't know her real name."
Click.
" Today, President Bush met with
dignitaries from Heshalnagbodnaria to discuss…."
Click.
"Crikee! Wasn't he a tough little
bugger? Now my wife here will hold him as I show you his big sharp teeth. Oh
oopps! Look at how he's pumping that venom right into my fore arm! If I don't
free myself, I'll die in about.---Ugh….."
Click.
" Her voice brought fame and fortune
but she couldn't escape tragedy…"
Click.
"I'm not dying you idiot! I am drunk!"
Click.
"And now it's time for 'When Rapid
Lemurs Attack Part 9"
Click.
Geez wasn't there anything on? When their episode aired, the ratings went
through the roof! Just about everyone watched it, making it a huge success. But
even the porsche in Colin's driveway didn't erase that weird, weird night.
Click.
"Get ready for the network premier of
the blockbuster hit….Little Princess!"
said the masculine voice on the TV.
"Oh hey! This looks good…" Colin put
the remote down and got up. He went into the kitchen and fetched some cottage
cheese. He opened the microwave and placed it inside. Fetching the spoon and
the cooked cottage cheese ( which Colin ate instead of popcorn for the reason
that he is Canadian and Canadians are just strange. I mean, if they're called Canadians, why isn't it called Canadia?
Shouldn't they be Canadens or something? Strange huh. And when they get weirded out, we should all be afraid…er…uh…
back to the story…) Colin went back to watch TV. He was just getting into the
movie and fried cottage cheese when their came a clicking sound.
Click!clickclickclick!
Colin stared at his remote, quite befuddled.
Clickclickclickclickclick!
C'mon Colin! Open up! It's like
Niagara Falls out here! Colin's eyes widened as he shifted his stare to the
raven tapping its beak on his window. Colin slapped himself a few times, trying
to bring about reality.
No need to beat yourself up Colin.
I'll do that for you once I get in…. the voice grumbled. Colin fell out of
his seat and crawled to the window, gaping at the raven. He fumbled with the
latch and was met with a spray of wind. A soggy shadow zoomed in and Colin
thrust the window shut. After clearing water from his eyes he resumed his
stare.
What's wrong with you Colin? It's
me! Ryan! Colin was all at once angry and upset. How dare Ryan use the
morphing power to contact him? He had a freakin phone didn't he? Didn't he know
what that would do to him? And why
interrupt when he was middle of Little
Princess?
"Why are you here Ryan? And when did
you get a raven morph?"
Quote the raven: Bite me.
Colin stared at him stonily.
Sorry, it was really wet out
there. You know how hard it is to fly out in the rain? Hold a sec while I
demorph… The raven ruffled its feathers and closed its eyes, an oddly human
thing to do. Suddenly, the raven began to grow larger and larger. As he became
cat sized, the wings thinned out and became jointed. The talons began to
lengthen, turning tan as they did. Colin knew he should look away, but he
couldn't. And he really, really, wanted to. The mutant raven was now the size
of a small child. The black feathers flattened and retreated into pink skin.
Growing, growing even more. The beak pushed in and became a mouth as the beady,
raven eyes became the dull, monotone gaze of Ryan Stiles. The talons were filed
down to stubby toes and the last of the raven faded away. Colin found quite
suddenly that he needed the window sill to stand.
" So I take it you're still a little
freaked?" Ryan said aloud. Colin, tenaciously holding his voice taught
replied,
"Oh no, I mean, I just saw a raven
turn into my friend. Why should that freak the hell out of me?" Ryan rolled his
eyes and motioned for Colin to join him on the couch. Colin walked with stiff
legs and sat bolt upright on the couch. Ryan lounged in his embarrassingly
tight morph suit. His face began to
burn bright red.
"Do you…"
"Yeah just go up to my closet. Third
door on the left." Colin said with a hint of besetment. As Ryan trotted upstairs, Colin tried to
quell the raging frenzy that was rising inside him. He slapped himself a couple
of times. CALM DOWN COLIN….it'll be all
right. You need to face reality, that's how you'll get over it….just face it,
be a man….As Ryan came down, Colin asked himself when he had bought capris.
Oh yeah. Ryan was way taller than him.
" You'd think with all that technology
they'd be able to incorporate cloths…" Ryan muttered. There was some silence,
then Ryan spoke again.
"Listen, I know it was weird, with the
animorphs and all---"
"Biggest understatement there." Colin
snorted and folded his arms.
"But you need to face it again Colin.
And hey! It wasn't that bad. I mean we're freakin rich now!" Colin stared at
him.
"Richer…anyway, and I doubt you ever
flew as a bird Colin. It's pretty tight!" Colin cocked an eyebrow.
"What can I say? It's unlocked my
inner child."
"Oh great now we have your inner child
running loose…." Ryan tapped the armrest.
" Ya know what? I think we need to
watch TV."
"We are watching TV."
"No I mean the episode Colin. I bet by the end you'll be laughing."
"As they drag me to the asylum Ryan."
He sighed. Colin was putting up a fight.
"Well how about we just watch the
regular episodes then? They're re-running right? How does that sound?" Colin
gave a begrudging shrug. Ryan snatched up the remote and turned it to ABC. It
showed the schedule: Two episodes of Whose
Line? and then Who Wants to be a
Millionaire?
"There we go. Is that popcorn I
smell?"
"No. It's fried cottage cheese. Want
some?" Ryan shook his head. Colin was his friend, but befriending a Canadian
was just as odd as befriending, let's say an Andalite.
"Got any beer?"
"Yeah, get me one too." Ryan walked to
the fridge as Colin bore his eyes into the television screen. A few scenes
played showing weird, behind the scenes stuff ( you've seen that right? Like
Drew Carry eating whip cream or the guys wearing costumes?). A smile cracked
his stern lips. Ryan set the beers down
and Colin eased himself into the couch.
"Goooooood Evening and tonight it's
Whose Line is it Anyway?! With who's your daddy, Wanye Brady! And don't talk to
strangers, Chip Esten! Mommy what's wrong with that Colin Mochrie! And speak of
the devil, Ryan Stiles! Come on down and let's have some fun!" Both Ryan and
Colin's faces contorted into a slight frown. That intro didn't sound familiar.
"All right. Now tonight it a special, live, hour long episode! So now
it's unrehearsed and unedited!" The audience cheered. Colin and Ryan's eyes bulged
out.
Briiiiiiiiiiiiiing!
Briiiiiiiiiii---- Colin reached for the phone with a shaky hand.
"Hello?"
"What are you doing?!"
"Drinking a beer, watching Whose Line?
and getting seriously freaked out."
"Why is it that I am at home and on a live program? I mean! It
boggles the mind!" Chip Esten had never been involved with the weird episode.
He was actually unaware completely of
characters such as Ellimist, or the Animorphs or the race of omniscient beings
called the fanfic writers. Drew, Ryan, Wayne, Greg, Brad, Laura, Linda, and he
had explained the unearthly events away as 'creative scripting' and 'special
effects'. They even went the whole nine yards by putting on a "Making Of" and
deleted scenes.
"Yeah I'm here with Ryan. Hold a sec,
I've got another call."
"But—!" Colin cut Chip off and pressed the button on
his phone.
"Hello?"
"What are you doing?!"
"Wayne? I take it you're watchin the
show too."
"Yeah! So it's no practical joke?"
"No Wayne, Ryan and I are just as
clue-less."
"You don't think….Ellimist? Or maybe
Lenalaye…"
"Who else? If anyone could make us
appear in two places, it'd be them."
"Awww man! This sucks!"
"Yeah, hold on, another line. I'll get
back to you." Colin clicked another button.
"Hello?"
"What are you doing?!" Colin sighed exasperated.
"Brad I have no idea!"
" I thought the season was over…wait a
minute. You're home?"
"Yeah and Ryan's with me. Wayne's at
his home and so is Chip Esten."
"Freaky." Yet another light
illuminated itself on the phone.
"Hold on, that's probably Drew."
"Hello?"
"What are you doing?!" Colin gripped the phone.
"Drew I think it's Lenalaye again.
What did we ever do with her laptop anyway?"
"I dunno, I can't really remember. We
left it on the desk…."
"Crap. She probably took it back and
disappeared."
"God help us if that brat's doing
this."
" Who else would?"
"Ellimist."
"Sorry Drew, someone else is trying to
call me."
"Has Greg called?"
"No, better tell him just in case."
"Okay, I'll call you back."
"See ya." Colin pressed the last line
on his phone.
"Hello?"
WHAT ARE YOU---
"OH SHUT UP!!!!" Colin screamed into
the phone.
SORRY
"Ellimist?"
YEAH JUST CALLING TO SAY….I'M NOT
DOING THIS.
"Maybe Crayak picked up a sense of
humor."
THE GUY IS SICK, BUT HE'S HARDLY
FUNNY. UNLIKE YOURS TRULY….Colin sighed. That guy probably lives in the fourth
dimension just to accommodate his ego.
"Lenalaye is my guess."
YEAH. ONLY SHE WOULD BE GEEKY ENOUGH
TO DO ANOTHER EPISODE JUST AFTER SHE FINSIHED THE FIRST ONE. SHE SERIOUSLY
NEEDS A LIFE.
"Yeah so she doesn't disrupt ours."
MHMMM
"So, aren't you going to stop this?"
WHAT? NO, I HAVE A BUNCH OF THINGS TO
DO. THAT LITTLE BASTARD DRODE HAS BEEN
ON MY BACK LATELY.
"Well, good luck."
YOU TOO.
Click.
All the other lines had hung up. Colin faced Ryan and he was about to say
something when,
Briiiiiiiiiiiing!
Briiiiiiiing! Briiiiiiing! Colin snatched up the phone and before the caller
could say anything he screamed,
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
"Huh?"
"Oh, sorry. Greg?"
"Yeah it's me…uh…I guess this isn't
the best time to call you."
"Sorry, it's just…goddamit!"
"If that @%#$% thinks she's gonna
explode my head again, she's got another thing coming to her."
"You bet."
"So, what should we do?" Colin stared
back at the TV. Ryan looked on earnestly. The show had been paused,
temporarily. Colin let the phone slide.
"Ryan? Did the show continue at all
while I was talkin?" Ryan stared at him with mouth swung open in disbelief and
shook his head.
"Colin? Colin?" Colin dragged the
phone back to his ear.
"I think, for now, we should just
watch."
"Just….keep on watching?" Greg asked.
Colin and Ryan turned their attention back to the TV. All suddenly, the show
came back on. Colin was staring at himself. A self that was smiling and joking
like he would. Yet it wasn't familiar dialogue. He was at home. He was on live
television. He was staring at a self that was existing at the same time as
he. A chill ran its icy touch down his
spine. Colin swallowed hard and brought the phone back up.
"Yeah Greg….just keep on watching."
*************************************************************
Sorry
it's so serious. Just wanted to establish the plotline. ( god, now I know I
messed up. I gave an improv show a plotline) Anyway review and tell me what you
think. I have a few chpts written after this but I'm open to suggestions. What
games would you like to see played? Sorry to anyone who is Canadian or who
likes Canada. Review please!!!!
