It is true. I am a bit sadistic in my own way. The truth is out, it is just as I say, but before you start pinning me down with slang terms and stereotypes you've heard of and grown to fear in movies and books , allow me to clarify.
I am a sadist. It is true that I cause pain in others voluntarily quite often, but it is not because I get some kind of sick or disturbed pleasure from it and it's certainly and most definitely not because I wish to see people die.
To address the first point, I see no point in such disgusting matters in life unless profitable to one's current goals. Even then, it's more like a currency, like wretched precious gold as a means of getting what you want. I have neither desire nor satisfaction in it since it is worthless and shameful, just like crying when you are sad.
The second accusation is easily debunked. I don't like seeing people die. I'm not a cruel person. I'm not insane. I am not evil. I am, however, a sadist and I hope by the end of the night you will learn to tell the difference between the two.
A sadist's logic is simple. It is this overwhelming desire to see someone weak, too see the strong at eye level, to watch as a soul so like your own molds and groans in many various reactions.
It's like having the same boring room with the same yellow light bulb giving the same yellow light to the room. The light is annoying and it's reparative and ugly existence is grading on your nerves. You desire change.
So what do you do?
Do you turn off the light? No, then you would be blind in the comfort of your own home. That would be inconvenient because you wouldn't be able to get any of your very important work done.
So what do you do instead?
Rather, you purchase same dyed light bulbs, maybe some color changing light bulbs, to brighten your day. Now sharp royal blues collided with cherry reds and it makes you positively ecstatic. It's perfect, just as you wanted it.
People are the same. You don't want them to die because then there is nothing. After that, they are boring useless toys. It's quite like a room without a light bulb in that sense.
And no, you don't move away to a different house. Every house has the same light bulbs and the fact that you even entered the first house meant you chose it for better or for worse.
Rather, the sadist desires to see different sides off a person under their own control that the subject would never otherwise show. You have to force it, even if it means making them weak and reliant on you with your own two hands.
In another sense, you could compare people to fruit with a bitter skin like plums or grapefruit. You know the sort and I think I might be safe in assuming you know them quite well.
Grapefruits and plums are sweet lovely delicacies but in order to get to it, you must peal the skin from it's small plump body.
Again, it's not to say I'm angry or dislike my muses in any way. Sometimes I just want them to be sorry Or to admit, to scream at the top of their lungs that they are just as human and weak as the rest.
You must disagree with my methods and hate me for living this way, but know this alone.
I am a sadist, but I am not evil.
