Post-Coital
Disclaimer: Ooh, if I owned Mac or Stella or anything related to CSI: NY I would likely use my account on here for spoilers and all of my one shots would become a reality ;).
Pairing: Mac/Stella, Smacked.
Genre: Romance/Friendship with a smidge of humour if you get my twisted sense of it anyway :D.
Rating: 14A for language and semi-adult scenes. Codeword for "smex!!" ;D.
Summary: If they thought loving each other was hard already they really shouldn't have added sex to the mix. Smut be here, with just a dash of mutual love developed from years of friendship, trust, and respect but whatever ;D.
Author's Note: I kind of started writing this from the post-sex part of this one-shot because it was something I've always wanted to do, just the post-coital bliss scene and everything, oh you'll understand when you get there xD.
Dedicated: Although I had no one in particular in mind for this story I would like to give this one to my Clone (Chandlerfan) whose bubbliness can be attributed to champagne and her own upbeat attitude. You're amazing :D.
He stroked her hair whilst trying to regain a regular breathing pattern when he looked down to her beautiful face. Tears stained her rosy cheeks, her eyes looking red and darker than usual, clumps of brunette curls sticking to her shoulders, neck, and cheeks. Lips looked tattered and not as plump as they had been when she was kissing him moments before, not to mention her whole body was still.
Why was she crying?
"Stell are you okay?" Mac asked timidly but concern fitting between his words. "Did I hurt you?"
Questions were firing left and right in his mind, just as the endorphins had been not too long ago. Had he done something wrong? Was she regretting this? What was he supposed to say now?
Thankfully he was saved the burden of speaking when she shook her head rapidly, tears still pricking at her exquisite green eyes that for some reason always reminded him of marbles, maybe because of how big and round they could become and how pretty the colour was. He refocused his attention on his partner as a whole and watched her try to form words, deciding now would probably be a good time to roll off of her. When he did Stella rolled on to her left side and touched her hand to his collarbone before speaking.
"No, no, no." Stella instantly refused her friend's implication that he had done anything that was not recuperated or mind-blowing, her fingers now trailing across his naked chest that still heaved a little from the adrenaline.
"Then why are you crying?"
"Oh God, I'm crying aren't I?" She asked, the sound of her voice cracking as she did so, as if she really had no idea her eyes were brimming with hot, wet tears. Mac wondered if she could see blurred through her shimmering eyes. He went to rub the tears away from her cheeks but all his hand could do was twitch uselessly on the mattress as he watched her lick her lips and blink back to reality.
"I'm so sorry, Mac. I-I didn't know." The back of her hands quickly shot up to wipe away the moisture collecting in her eyes.
"God, I feel like such an idiot, Mac. We just have had sex and I burst into tears, you must be thinking I've lost my mind."
Not that Mac would ever think that Stella had lost her mind he was very concerned for her right now, what with the fact that she was clearly distraught and neither or them seemed to have a clue as to why. He made his lips into a thin line and tried not think about how he wanted to kiss away the tears, hold her close, and turn back time to when she had been on top of him screaming out his name as he brought her over the edge of her orgasm. Oh what a beautiful thought, the image of Stella's hair and breasts and smile bouncing around before him made his dick twitch and for a moment he was disappointed with himself for becoming aroused at a time like this.
"You're not an idiot, Stell." Sure it had sounded dumb to Mac's ears but honestly he wasn't sure what else he could say.
"You're very intelligent." Comfortingly, he placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed, running it down to her hip and squeezing there as well, praying to dear God she would accept the solace.
New tears formed and ran down her cheeks. Alright, Mac obviously had no clue what was going on in this woman's head and was assured that he never would.
"Oh Mac, you're too good to me." Stella whispered, her vision becoming focused and her gaze penetrating him in a way that made Mac's heart thump to an irregular beat, embarrassed because with her palm over his chest she would surely notice.
He didn't tease at the prospect of speaking, not when he figured she wouldn't say much more than what she had already divulged.
"It's just that…well I…oh God." She started and stopped occasionally, her hand still over his heart and her bare thighs and shins touching his beneath the blankets.
"Stell?" Mac encouraged, eyebrows quirked, thumb drawing invisible pictures on her hip.
"Mac, honey, I just love you so damn much."
The admission had made Mac's heart leap and Stella's fingers and toes to curl up, both of their jaws set and clamp shut, and a silence to crowd the bedroom. Neither spoke, neither moved, both just laid next to one another and challenged the other with their eyes, as if tempting one another to say something first and it wasn't long before Stella caved.
"Whatever you say it better not be 'I love you too', coz' then I'll be forced to shoot you." She told him, her voice the strongest it had been since they had done the deed, since she had let him off inside of her.
Mac's eyebrows drew together, a bemused expression contorting his face, and maybe if Stella didn't love him as much as she claimed she did she wouldn't have known that meant he wanted her to continue. Again, she relinquished control, something Mac was still not quite used to.
"I don't want to remember it as response." She began. "I don't want you to say just because I did."
Ah. Mac thought as it dawned on him. It was all beginning to make sense now. Kind of.
"Not that it matters because I know you don't love me, at least not like that, or at least not the way I love you. You never could, coz' you're all cool, calm, and collect and I'm the one who falls apart after multiple orgasms. Damn it, Mac! Why the fuck did I have to fuck this up?" The Greek swore, shaking her curls, no doubt readying herself for future tear and since Mac didn't like the thought of that he brought is hand from her hip up to her cheek and tried to articulate his words mentally.
"Darling, how could I not love you?" He started, the pads of his fingers playing on her cheeks."How could I not love the woman in my life," he quoted her with a smile. "The one person who cannot only stand me but actually loves me. How can I not love something too good to be true?"
Nearly gawking now, Stella pressed her palm against his chest and was shocked to find their hearts racing to the same rhythm.
"You-you don't mean that, Mac. You can't. You're so much more than I am; you've loved and been loved and-and you're always in control of your feelings and life while I'm a wreck and—"
"I don't love with all my heart like you do, just like I don't have eyes that mesmerize, or a soul that outshines everything ugly in the world." Mac interrupted with a pointed expression.
What was he going to have to admit to get her to see how much she meant to him? Women.
"Damn it, Stella, you're the most intelligent woman I've ever known. You've taught me so much about love and life and yet you still can't understand how much I need you?"
This seemed to have stunned her silent for she wasn't arguing, another thing Mac wasn't quite adjust to yet.
"Do you love despite the flaws or because of them?"
Damn, Mac knew that Stella being quiet was never going to last.
Oh well.
Mac shifted and felt the bed dip, drawing Stella closer to him, and dwelled in thought for a few moments while she let him hold her against his chest and abdomen.
"Neither." The ex-marine finally stated after some time had passed.
"What do you mean neither?" The woman questioned, obviously confused by the answer she had not been expecting. Mac smiled a little and brought her closer.
"What do you mean, what do you mean?" Mac teased and was surprised to find her answering.
"Listen well and careful now because I'll likely never be this vulnerable again, at least not in your presence." She told him shortly and when he looked at her with some confusion and accusation she rolled her eyes and elaborated. "Because I'd never let myself seem so weak in front of you again," was her short response.
"Anyway, I love you because of the flaws because if I loved you despite them I'd think you even more perfect than I already do. If I refused to see you with flaws than you'd be too exceptional for me and then I would never be able to appreciate that you could love me too. Loving you because of your flaws reminds me that you're not perfect and that one doesn't have to be to be loved, and that means that I don't have to be perfect for you to love me and since we both know that I'm far from perfect there is still a chance that you could possibly return my feelings."
The look on Mac's face was enough to make Stella breakout in a gorgeous smile and a giggle.
"So what were you saying, Mac?"
Amused, Mac kissed Stella's forehead gently. "Just that I don't love you for either of those reasons and then you interrupted with your little whirlwind there, not to say that it wasn't very impressive and touching."
Stella smirked but pretended to think about it. "Hmm, it sure does pluck at the heartstrings, huh?"
His lips grazed her temple and dragged down her jaw. "Hmm-mm," Mac murmured in agreement.
"So why do you love me then, Detective. Oh and kissing me is a wonderful but unacceptable reply, sorry."
He ignored her and kissed down her neck, around her cleavage, and up to her opposite temple.
"I don't love you despite your flaws nor do I love you because of them. I love you because you're my best friend, because you're an exceptional CSI, because it wouldn't matter how you laughed or sang or spoke to me I'd still love you. Because you ask questions like that, because you cried when you told me you loved me, because you don't understand how truly wonderful you are. Because I really don't need a reason to be crazy for you, because you're crazy about me, because it doesn't matter if your angry or sad or elated you always looking so fucking beautiful from the inside out. Because you can make me say things like this, because even when you're pissing me off you constantly remind me of how much I want, need, and know you, because you know everything about me and still stick around. Mostly though, I love you because I've never had a best friend I've wanted to undress so badly, tell me she loves me so perfectly, or lay in my arms and listen to me like you are doing right now."
Stella was stunned, speechless, and with fresh tears glazing over her eyes. Mac chuckled and scooped one breast in hand whilst the other slid under her butt. He kneaded her breast and fondled her ass while he kissed her on random inches of skin, whispering I love you against every one of them.
Oh fuck, Stella realized, I'm gonna cum again.
"Mac, babe, thank you."
"Sweetheart," Mac started but the words died on his lips once he met her eyes. Little tears poked at her eyes and streamed down her cheeks. He chuckled and climbed over her so that he was at a proper angle to kiss away her tears and lose his hands in curly hair.
"Would it be a mood ruiner if I came again, like right now?" Stella asked as her hands slipped down Mac's back.
Smirk playing on his lips, Mac kissed her lips quick. "I'd love you for it."
And so Stella did, numerous times over in fact, encouraging Mac to do the same.
