Manuscript of audio recording from Philip J. Enhouse. PsyD. January 3rd 2012. Cybertron. Case number 3724.
"So Galvatron how are we feeling today?"
"Denied my rightful destiny as ruler of this galaxy!"
"Now, now. We talked about this. Other beings have a right to live in your galaxy don't they?"
"Yes!"
"Good! I see we've been making progress."
"I will need slaves to harvest my energon. You can be one of them. There are many planets in my galaxy!"
"We'll come back to that. Now tell me...have you considered what we talked about last time?"
"No! Never! I will never apologize to him!"
"But you're also apologizing to yourself. You need closure on this for the guilt you feel."
"What is guilt?"
"The negative feeling cased by violating an emotional standard through the act of causing someone harm."
"..."
"Galvatron?"
"Is that the name of an Autobot or something? No Decepticon warrior would ever be named Guilt! If he was, I would kill him!"
"I think you're avoiding again, Galvatron. You're displacing. Doesn't part of you feel bad in some way?"
"Yes!"
"Good! And did you write your feelings down like we agreed? I see your paper there. Let's bring them out into the light."
"Very well!"
"I'm quite pleased, Galvatron. Just being able to admit to sorrow is the first step on the road to recovery. This is the healing process. Let's begin."
*ahem* "Dear Starscream. I am...sssss...ssss...sor-ry...that I...sorry that I killed you!"
"Excellent Galvatron! That was wonderful!"
"Because you are a treacherous scum sucking mother fucker who died to quickly!"
"Galvatron?!"
"I should have ripped you open with my teeth and tore out your spark and consumed it before your very eyes so I can show you what happens to traitors, you back stabbing rat!"
"Galvatron! Inside voice!
"The only thing I felt bad about as I watched you crumble into ashes was that there wasn't more of you to harm! I had to content myself with pissing on your ashes! And the only fucking thing I am sorry about is that you're not alive so I can enjoy killing you again!"
"Galvatron please sit down."
"ARRRGH!"
"Okay, Okay that's a frowny face, Galvatron! A frowny face! Put that down!"
"Who are you to tell me what to do, fleshling?!"
"Please put my couch down! Please!"
"There. Is that better? Hmm?"
"Yes! Yes. Thank you, Galvatron. Okay, we need to calm down now. Umm...let's think about what made you put the couch down."
"I needed somewhere to sit!"
"That's good. Respecting an object's function is respecting socially acceptable behavior. Shall we continue?
"I need somewhere to sit when I look inside your head."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm curious, Doctor..."
"Wha...what are you doing? No! Stop!"
"I wonder if I will feel guilty about this? HAHAHA!"
"Please no! Aieeeeee!"
Documented Criminal evidence A27-5 Case remains unsolved. Auditor : Ultra Magnus, commander.
