A/N: There is nothing funny or enjoyable about the content that you are about to read. I wrote this because it was the only way that I felt I could sensibly deal with recent findings of people that I hold dear to me. You have been told.

Stephenie Meyer owns the characters. I merely use them.

The news reports and psychological essays have it wrong. The mind of a killer isn't necessarily fascinating. Mine is rather dull, if I could be quite frank. All that I've been able to think about for the last four years, six months and nine days is one man.

No.

He doesn't even deserve the honor of being called a man.

This… insect.

This insignificant, measly, little insect that almost cost me more than I'd ever willingly pay.

When my sister Alice first started dating Mike Newton, I'll admit, I was a little hesitant. He just seemed too old for her and far too serious for her natural bubbly state. He rarely ever smiled and he damn sure never showed excitement over anything. My longtime boyfriend, Edward, assured me that Mike was an alright dude.

"He's ok, Bells. He's just a laidback kind of guy," he'd said.

"I don't know, Edward. Something about him seems... off. He's too quiet."

"He'll be good for Alice. Maybe he can balance out her high energy," he chuckled. "Keep her from bouncing off the walls so much."

Had I known the truth, I would have never let Alice anywhere near him.

In the first couple months that they dated, everything seemed fine. Although quiet, Mike was cordial at all times around Dad and me. He wasn't at the house much; always whisking Alice away on a date or back to his place to hang out. I was so busy juggling school, work, Edward, and squeezing in time for my best friend Jasper that I never really took the time to get to know Mike.

They had been together for five months when I saw her first bruise. I was lying on the couch reading the latest great vampire novel by Octavia E. Butler when Alice breezed into the house. Being the ball of energy that she is, she nearly whizzed right past me until I grabbed her arm to stop her movement. Once she had, I saw that right above my hand's grasp, she had a small, roundish, swamp green and eggplant purple bruise.

"What the fuck is that Alice?" I demanded.

"Relax, Bella. It's nothing," she'd assured me.

Alice relayed to me that she had been getting ready for a night out with her best friend, Rosalie. The abrupt ring of Alice's cell had startled her as she was styling her hair and she bumped into the edge of the counter in our bathroom.

Her face had looked so earnest when she told me what happened. Honestly, Alice is small enough that a counter comes up to just below her elbow: the bruise very well could have been a self-caused accident. I left it alone and returned back to my book like an oblivious idiot.

My first and only red flag to something darker going on occurred when the group of us went out to a local diner together.

Finals for the semester had just ended and everyone wanted to wind down with a celebratory night at the local hotspot, Mad Hatters. Alice told me that Mike was finishing up his last exam that evening but he would meet up with us when he finished. She rode with Edward and me but there was a distant feel to her the entire drive there. I'd assumed that it was because she was sitting in the back with Jasper.

Jasper is my absolute best friend in the entire world. We had practically grown up together. From the moment he offered his last Nutter Butter to me in the second grade, we were tied together like shoelaces.

Over the years, he had developed a longstanding crush on Alice. Being that he was older than her, and me for that matter, Jasper had been initially terrified to tell me that he was interested in my little sister. Much to his surprise, it didn't bother me one bit. I knew he was an outstanding guy and my sister would've been lucky to have him. I made it known that I was undisturbed by the news but I also clued him in to the deal: I am not the go-between. If you want to see my sister, take it up with her because I will say nothing.

Jasper was too afraid of the rift he'd create if Alice didn't return his affections so he tried (and failed) to keep it to himself. That didn't make the situation more comfortable, as Jasper had a certain… intensity about himself.

He had a tendency to constantly stare at Alice, not realizing that he was doing so, or the creep factor that he at times gave off. I'd been forced to slap him on numerous occasions to break the Alice-induced trance he would fall into. Always, he'd give a sheepish smile to me and a quiet apology to her.

She'd never admit it, but I think she was rather smitten with his devotion to her, even while she had Mike. When no one was looking, I'd catch her glancing at him as well, reassuring to me that my sister had similar if not the same feelings for Jasper.

He had tried to start a conversation with her on the way to Mad Hatters but Alice distractedly stared out the window, not saying a word or even acknowledging that anyone was in the car with her. To end that, I reached back and placed my index finger in her nose. That of course sent Alice off on a tirade about how immature I was and how she could smell my "Bella-germs". When she stopped fuming, she joined in our boisterous laughter and all was right again.

Mad Hatters was packed when we pulled up. Apparently, Karaoke Thursdays had become a big hit almost instantly with the 25 and under crowd.

We managed to squeeze into a side booth off to the right of the makeshift stage. Alice had hooted excitedly, startling the passing waitress when one of her classmates belted along to Amy Winehouse's "Rehab" in eerie accuracy.

After we'd ordered and received our drinks, the night only became more fun as people loosened up.

Alice and I had jumped on stage to sing "Wanna be my Lover" by Spice Girls. Edward struggled to keep his laughter in as I blundered through the speedy verses. Jasper didn't even try, breaking out into a full on belly laugh while Alice pranced across the stage, kicking the air in true Sporty Spice fashion.

We were having a fantastic time when Mike finally showed up. Jasper was mocking Edward's version of Joey Ramone in "I Wanna Be Sedated" when Mike settled into the booth with us. He gave a curt nod in our directions as we lightly acknowledged him, still laughing at Jasper's jokes. Alice quieted down as soon as Mike took his seat beside her. I don't know why but I felt an odd tension as I looked over at him. Alice ragged on me before about not trying to get to know Mike so in an effort to be a good sister, I asked him about his last final.

"Ugh, it was alright. Glad it's over," he grunted before hailing a waitress for a drink.

He said nothing more and I looked at him closely. The way his hands were neatly folded one atop the other belied the tense look he had in his eyes. Clearly he was upset about something.

Alice popped up from her seat in that moment. "Come sing with me, Mike," she squealed, pushing him lightly so he'd get up and take her to the stage.

Mike declined, sighting that he didn't do karaoke. Alice pleaded, saying they could do something easy or even one of those Jay-Z songs he liked so much. Mike didn't answer that time, taking a sip of the Heineken our waitress had brought him. Alice tried to push him from the booth again. When he didn't budge, she huffed out, "fine", and tried to climb over him to get out. Mike reached out and clasped his hand around her wrist, stopping her in her tracks. She let out a shocked gasp that finally sprung me to action.

I shot up in my seat to protest but before I could get a word out, Jasper was in his face.

" What the fuck do you think you're doing,?" Edward asked at the same time that I did. I ran to Alice's side and pulled Mike's fingers from around her wrist. I massaged it with my own hand and asked her if she was alright. Her eyes were as big as saucers but she looked more through me than at me as she answered a distant, yes.

I turned to verbally lay into Mike but found him getting a rather heated dressing down from Jasper. If there was anything in the world that pissed Jasper off more than a woman in trouble, it was Alice in trouble.

"So you think you're a big fucking man? Grabbing a girl like that? You could have broken her damn wrist," Jasper seethed. They were so close that if the situation were different, they could have been sharing an Eskimo kiss.

"I suggest you get out of my face, dude," Mike replied icily, not flinching one bit.

"I don't think I'm gonna do that. You need to apologize to Alice," Jasper growled. Our booth had started to gain looks from the other diners but I don't think any of us cared.

Except maybe Alice.

She had pulled her wrist from my hand and was clutching it against her stomach. She was looking at the ground and in that moment, she looked so small. I knew everything and in that instant.

I was beyond mad.

I was raging.

"You stupid son of a bitch," I yelled, heaving with all my might to push Jasper out of the way. I stepped in front of Mike and put my finger in his face. "You make me sick you big, dumb, fucking oaf. I didn't pay attention before but I see it now. I want you nowhere near my sister. If I even think you've been around her, I won't hesitate to end you."

"Bella, don't you think," Edward started. I cut him off without even looking in his direction.

"Edward, lets go!" I yelled. Mike had a smug expression on his face as I grabbed Alice along the waist and walked out of the diner to the car. Jasper stayed to probably threaten him further, as he was the last to make it to the car. Edward opened the front door to his Volvo for me but I didn't get in, instead opening the back door for Alice and ushering her in before following behind her and sitting in the backseat. Jasper slammed the front door shut after sitting down. He was still a scary shade of red but I couldn't quite care as I took inventory of my sister, finally seeing her for the first time in months.

Alice looked a bit disheveled but after all the pushing around that just happened, it was in order. She leaned against the door and didn't say a word. I was fucking fuming.

"How many times, Alice?"

When she didn't answer me, I screeched again, "How many fucking times?!"

She didn't utter a word. I was about to lose it when I saw a parade of tears roll down her face. I flew from my seat and clutched her in my arms, crying along with my sister, my sobs ruining the silence of the ride home. When we arrived at the house, Alice said nothing. She merely unwrapped herself from my arms and got out of the car. She was inside before I even moved.

I was so angry in that moment. Angry at Edward for saying Mike was an ok guy. Angry at Jasper for not being man enough to ask her out before. Angry at myself for not seeing the signs that were right in front of my face.

"Bella," Edward started.

I didn't let him finish before I got out of the car. I walked around to his window and leaned down.

"I've gotta go inside, Edward," I said quietly.

"I'll come in with you," he offered.

"No. You just go home," I replied emotionlessly. I looked over to Jasper and before I even had to say anything, he was out of the car and walking to the front door. I kissed Edward on the forehead and turned away from the car.

Once inside, I found Jasper at the kitchen table by himself. I sat down next to him, leaning against his shoulder. We sat in silence for a while, processing the happenings of the night. When I couldn't stew any longer, I broke the silence.

"How did I not see that, Jazz?" I asked, wiping a stray tear on the sleeve of my coat that I had yet to remove.

"I don't think anyone did, Bella," he replied softly. "I knew I didn't like the dude but I didn't know there was a legitimate reason why."

"My sister. My own fucking sister and I didn't even see it," I sobbed, covering my mouth with my hand to keep from alerting Alice. Jasper turned and wrapped his arms around me, letting me sob my guilt into his chest.

We stayed that way for a while before I gathered myself enough to push away from him.

"I need to go check on her. She needs a hug a lot more than I do," I weakly joked.

After promising to call him later, I let Jasper out the front door and walked up the stairs to the silent house. I had no clue what to say to my sister. She'd been a part of an obviously unhealthy relationship and I'd let it go on right under my nose. What kind of horrible sister had I become?

I knocked on her door lightly. When Alice didn't reply, I pushed the door in slowly and saw her sitting on her bed, back towards me, as the stared at her window. I sat beside her and said nothing, wishing desperately to soak up all the hurt that I knew was running through my sister at the moment. She didn't move or say anything for nearly twenty minutes until she grabbed my hand and held it in her lap. A few minutes later, she broke the silence.

"I didn't really know what to do," she whispered. "The first time he grabbed me, he said that he was sorry. He just wanted to shut me up. I- I guess I was talking too much." Alice started to sob and all I could do was grab her in my arms and stroke her back. I wanted to cry, and yell and kill all in that same moment but I knew that Alice needed me and I'd be damned if I'd drop the ball twice. "It's ok now. It's over and I'll be alright," Alice stated, pushing back to look in my face. I smiled at her, although it couldn't have been a very happy one.

"Good," was all I could say.

The next morning, Alice had some errands to run. I was wiped out from sitting up with her all night watching movies so I let her go by herself. It must have been a sign of my age because Alice had been up and about flitting from room to room, where I was still in bed feeling groggy and slightly waterlogged.

I caught a couple more hours of sleep before finally deciding to join the land of the living. Dad had once again snuck in and out of the house, that time to go fishing. Naturally, he was long gone by the time I moseyed into the kitchen. I put together a bowl of cereal only to find a note tacked to the refrigerator door.

We're out of milk. Unless you want to use my soy, fix yourself some toast. I'll be home in an hour with the groceries. Be ready for the mall. Heart you,

Alice

I gagged a bit, thinking about the disgusting taste of that soy crap she poured over her Cap'n Crunch Berries.I settled for a toasted PB & J sandwich while I waited.

Alice told me the night before after we moved to lighter conversation that there was a sale at Anthropologie that she didn't want to miss. I was no fool but if retail therapy was what my sister needed to deal with the recent goings on of her life, I'd be there right along with her.

When I looked at the clock to see that it was 1:30, I was antsy. Alice's note said that she'd be home in an hour and I read the message over two hours ago. I'd sent her a text when I first found it but the most recent text of "where are you?" was not returned. It was very well within the realm of possibilities that Alice could have run into a friend at the store but with the recent events, I had a creeping feeling in my body that I couldn't shake.

Dad didn't have a cell phone so I wrote him a note and placed it on the fridge next to Alice's that merely read,

We need to talk

B

Even if it was all over, the time had come that I should speak with Dad about Mike and his violent tendencies.

That thought made me shudder so badly that I had to grip the back of a chair to stay standing. Mike hadn't attempted to follow us out of Mad Hatters after the blowup and he didn't call her at all that night. He knew that they were over, right?

I tried her cell once more and when I didn't get an answer, I'd made up my mind. I called Jasper on my way out the door.

"Jazz. I think I need your help. Alice went out to the store this morning and she isn't back yet," I said into the phone while stepping into my truck.

"Tell me where to go and I'll meet you there," he answered, no questions asked. That was the kind of best friend I had and I loved him infinitely more for it. After all this shit, I'd be his champion to Alice forever. I told him which grocery store she would have likely gone to and he hung up the phone to tie his shoes.

I called Edward but when his voicemail picked up, I didn't even bother to leave a message. I hung up the phone and tried to focus on the road. I told myself that nothing was wrong. Alice just lost track of time or found some sale to go to between the store and home.

Before I knew it, I'd pulled up into the parking lot of the closest grocery store. It was pretty packed considering that it was a weekday but crowded markets were the least of my worries.

Jasper pulled up next to me before I even stepped out of the truck. I opened my door and he was all business.

"There's a lot of people here but let's scan the parking lot for her Beetle before we do anything else," Jasper said. His voice was soft but there was no hesitance in it. He was in soldier mode then, no doubt a byproduct of his father's past military experience and style of child raising.

"Alright. I'm going to take the left end of the parking lot: you take the right," I replied, already walking away from him. "Call me if you see anything," I yelled over my shoulder to him.

I half-walked, half-jogged to the end of the parking lot. Being thorough was the only way that I could grasp at some semblance of sanity. My mind was conjuring up all sorts of scenarios as to where my sister was. I hated to even own up to them but the sinking feeling in my stomach told me that something simply wasn't right. I scanned the first two rows and got nothing. When I reached the third, I saw a white Beetle and called Jasper before I even reached it.

"I've found it, Jazz. It's right-" I stopped. "It's not her car. There's no Power Puff Girls decal in the window," I choked.

"Pull it together, Bella," he said in that same soft but stern voice. There was a beat of silence before he spoke again. "I see it. Her car's right here. Come back this way."

I hung up the phone and sprinted recklessly through the parking lot. It was no longer a feeling: I KNEW that something was wrong. Alice hated grocery shopping and would never spend more time than needed there.

I stopped once I got close enough to register the look on Jasper's face. There was a basket of groceries perched next to the open trunk of her car. They looked undisturbed sitting there, waiting to be put away.

There was a container haphazardly lying on the asphalt.

It was the first time I ever cried over spilled milk.

A/N: There will be one more chapter to this and it will be finished. Be patient with me as I have to deal with this in my own way. Review if you'd like but I'm not going to beg you for them.