After Cloudia

What I am writing is of the utmost importance to my memory, or I wouldn't feel the need to write it down. The story you are about to be told, is a tale of sorrow, of hope, loss and most of all, love. The story of the blonde angel that I met by chance in the depths of a forest, only about a month or so ago. The story of Cloudia.

~ Part One: The Path ~

Sigh. Is it too much to ask for the birds outside my window not to sing in the morning? I really don't find it as such an impossible request. I would rather hope to enjoy those spring mornings when I have the privilege to sleep in, without being woken by the chirps of some seemingly tone deaf sparrow outside my window.

The bright sun that emanated from my window, its glow, besides the noise of the birds woke me. I ran a hand through my dark hair, and sighed again. The moments I woke alone seemed to be my darkest, even with the sun shining through the glass. It seemed to taunt me as well.

The morning dragged on, as I dressed myself, seemingly as if there was something driving me to do it, when in actuality whether or not I chose to get up made no difference. My job as a part time writer had its advantages; for instance, I worked from my home, unless I needed to meet a client. Also, the spring vacation I was given. But as I found myself standing alone in the middle of my kitchen, with nothing to do, I chose an action that wouldn't normally cross my mind. It seemed to be nice enough weather outside, so why not take a walk?

I threw on a light jacket, and left my house. The garden which had been utterly forgotten seemed to frown upon me. I sighed, and began walking into the small woods that surrounded my house.

During my walk, I think I lost track of myself. I just let my mind wander into the sky, and it didn't return for some time. I took different paths through the woods, stepping over broken branches and the occasional vine and weed. For some reason, as this walk would have seemed to bore me to no end, it felt utterly serene.

And then, the sun seemed to shine through the trees as if they had been holding it captive for eternity. I held my hand over my face to shield myself from its bright rays. And as I turned away from it, my eyes caught the site of something almost as bright as the sun. It seemed to be the silhouette of a person with blonde hair. I only saw the vision of them for a moment, before they seemed to disappear into the woods.

Intrigued by the odd vision, I followed it to its origin. It was then that my eyes found another path, this one made not by the wearing away of grass by footsteps taken, but made from the sun peeking through the trees. I took a breath, and followed that path as well.

I didn't see any vision of a person for a very long time afterwards. And I began to think that the bright outside light was playing tricks on my mind. But the figure had been all too real. I couldn't dismiss the thought that it hadn't been ther—

"Aah!!" I cried out, as my train of thought had caused my foot to catch something on the floor, sending me falling to the forest ground face first.

The next thing I heard was a high pitched voice of a woman.

"Oh my goodness!! Are you alright?"

My eyes came slowly back into focus, and, sure enough, I was staring into the concerned face of a young woman with hair that fell over her shoulders in the color of the sun itself, with the brightest and most exquisite blue eyes I had ever seen.

The sun shown from behind her gave the vision of light radiating from her face. (Actually, I hadn't known it was the sun for quite some time, and did indeed believe that her general being was radiating such a light)

My voice seemed to deceive me, as I wanted to speak but could not find the words to say to describe such a beauty. Then she repeated, "Are you alright?" her voice full of concern and care for me, a perfect stranger whom she had just met out of my own clumsiness while thinking about her.

It would seem that this moment was meant to be. 'Seem' being the operative word, here.

But instead of doing the intelligent thing and thanking her for her concern, I did not, or rather, I still could not speak.

As you may have guessed, this made her rather upset and even more worried than before, thinking I was a mute of some sort, but knowing that wasn't the case because of the way I screamed as I fell. When the moment seemed to have awkwardness of no end, the sun appeared, causing us both to look up and shield ourselves, causing a slight brush of our hands together. A small sensation really, but it set my heart almost as ablaze as the sun.

"I'm truly sorry, miss. Did I worry you? I apologize, if it wasn't for this sun lighting the path I would have broken my neck already." I managed to say, standing up as she did the same.

"It's no trouble at all." She laughed. I had never met anyone who seemed to be as comfortable around strangers as she was.

Without saying another word, she turned and took a few steps towards a bench being hit directly by the sun, and took a seat.

As if awaiting something, she turned to me and smiled. "Well? Why don't you join me?"

As if I had a choice.

~ Part Two: The Walk ~

By this time I had realized that this was most likely one of life's opportunities of love that if not taken, you would spend the rest of your life regretting. Unfortunately, I had never believed in 'love at first sight' or anything of the sort. And as cliché as it sounds, I think the few moments that I had been spending with this young woman was changing my mind.

We sat side by side on a lowly park bench that seemed very out of place, even in this small opening in the woods. The bench itself was slowly becoming covered in moss, and even a few small flowers, daisies and such, were growing by its legs.

It occurred to me then how strange it felt to be more concerned with what I was sitting on, than who I was sitting with. I turned to the woman beside me; she was gazing off into the sun peacefully as could be. I urged to redeem myself after what a fool I had made of myself earlier.

"Excuse me for not introducing myself. I am Yuuji Kamijo." I said.

She turned to me with a smile that made my heart skip a beat. "It's perfectly fine; you were too busy falling to say your name. I'm Cloudia, pleased to meet you, Kamijo." She answered, smiling still.

"Th-The pleasure's mine." I stuttered, captivated at her beauty.

"Is something wrong? Your face has gone red." She asked, concerned as she had been before, and yet completely unaware that she was the cause of my anxiety.

"Oh, no. I'm fine," I forced a nervous laugh, "Ahem….anyway…. Tell me about yourself, Miss Cloudia." I tried not to sound so commanding, but I wanted to know so much about her.

"Hmm…well, that would take some time."

"I've got plenty of time."

"Alright then, but only if you tell me about yourself in return." She replied.

"Deal."

"Oh, but first… would you like to take a walk with me?" she asked. I found myself saying yes as quickly as possible, and the two of us stood and began to stroll down the forest path together.

So we walked. It could have taken hours, I wouldn't have cared if it had taken days; all I cared about during our walk was Cloudia. We shared the same hopes, the same dreams. She told to me how she had lived over the last few years, moving from beautiful places like France and America, places that I'd only gotten close to by my writing about them. We joked and laughed endlessly together, I had never been so happy.

She was adventurous and kind, beautiful and smart, everything that I had ever dreamed about, all put into this gorgeous blonde angel that seemed not to see my many flaws, but the few fragments of my heart and soul that hadn't been tainted by sorrow.

And even though I would try to avoid being cliché, it seems there is no other way to explain this feeling for her, except as 'Love at first sight.'

"Okay, Kamijo, your turn." Her soft voice brought me back from my daydream.

"Oh! Right…well….."

"Come on; don't tell me there's nothing interesting about you." She persisted.

"Well….I'm a writer."

"Really!? What do you write?"

"Short stories for my work, but on my free time I prefer poetry and songs." I explained. "You wouldn't believe the mess of crumpled and mismatched papers that my house has become." I laughed.

"I'd love to hear some!" She chirped, excited.

"I could quote one for you, or I could think of something now if you'd like—"

"You can do that!?" She seemed completely appalled at the fact that I could come up with simple rhymes, as she practically jumped in excitement.

"Yes," I answered, "Is that what you'd like?"

"That's be wonderful!" she exclaimed.

I nodded, and glanced at her for a moment, then stared off into the horizon. My mind searched for the words to describe this moment, and I soon found them. "Below the shadow of the clouds, with the same speed as the wind. Even though the two of us were ought to walk, as we walk on firmly the time slips off. And the own shadow floats… Eyes turned away I stop breathing…" I said, saying each sentence slowly as they came to my mind. When I turned to see Cloudia's reaction, her face was captivated.

"That was so beautiful, Kamijo." She complimented, the way she said my name with such compassion, it made my heart ache for her.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

We stared at eachother, then. For some reason the moment between our words had caused our eyes to meet, and it had felt like our hearts were entwining. Without warning, I found myself leaning forward, and suddenly, I felt the softness of her pink lips on mine.

That kiss had only lasted a small moment. I pulled back slowly when I realized how that action could destroy what chance I had with her.

"Cloudia, I'm sorry, I—"

I was then cut off when she leaned towards me, and laid a small kiss upon my cheek. She looked up at me and smiled gently. "Thank you, Kamijo. You're a truly beautiful person." She said to me, then turned around, and began slowly walking away.

Feeling stupid, I called out to her what was racing through my mind. "Cloudia, wait! Will I see you again? Will you come back here to see me?"

She turned to me with a smile, still walking, and waved happily at me. Everything about her at that moment said 'Yes, I'll see you again' and because I thought that, I was able to let her walk off into the sunset.

I sighed, and held my hand to me heart. I had never felt so sure of anything in my life before this. I glanced in the direction she had left, and thought my eyes deceived me, when I saw that in her place, she had left behind a rainbow.

Right under the sun, I felt my fears and wounds disappear. And the space they left was quickly being filled by the loving embrace of Cloudia's sun.

~ Part Three: The Sun ~

The very next day, I woke from a dream of Cloudia, to find that she wasn't there. Of course she hadn't come to my home, nor had I invited her, but the comfortable feeling of her presence from yesterday still lingered.

Quickly, barely bothering to dress myself correctly, I rushed outside, desperate to find Cloudia in that same spot by the bench in the forest.

I followed the path to that place exactly, and as I saw the sun's path leading me there, I expected to see the silhouette of her beautiful blonde figure in a pink dress.

I arrived, and saw nothing. I caught my breath from running, and thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. She really wasn't there.

I convinced myself not to worry, and that she had probably came earlier, gotten bored and taken a walk down the path we had taken yesterday. So I proceeded down that path, checking every line of sight for her, but still I found no one.

I then told myself that she had just been late, and now was probably waiting for me at the bench. So I followed the path back to where I had came, excited to see her again. When I was close, I saw a pale yellow glow through the trees, just the color of her lovely blonde hair. My heart raced, and I found my way back to that spot.

"Cloudia! I knew you would have come ba—" I stopped, when I saw that my eyes had been fooled. Instead of seeing her, my eyes had just misinterpreted the light from the sun. My heart sank.

In all honesty, I didn't know what to do with myself. I tried to stay confident, and I decided to sit on that bench and wait. So, wait I did.

I waited for hours, until the sun was setting behind the trees, when I finally let myself conclude that she wasn't coming. I stared out into the last glimpse of the sun for the day. That evil sun, it had gotten my hopes up, and as well it had destroyed them.

I had one last attempt to stay positive, and told myself that she had probably been busy and couldn't make it today, but she would surely come tomorrow.

And so tomorrow, I went through the same routine; waking up lonely, and remaining that way for the entire day, being that my dearest Cloudia did not return.

And so those days turned into weeks, and I still never found myself staring into those beautiful blue eyes again.

And even though I knew in my heart that she was gone, I longed to meet her again; I kept on wishing for it all the time. I returned to that lonely park bench in the woods every day, waiting for her. She never returned.

Every day, I would wake from my dreams without her there, and only become more depressed. It was impossible to ever forget her, or ever even dream of hiding these deep wounds.

My experience with her had only one positive effect. In all my never ending sorrow, I had written a song for her, using that one line of poetry that I had thought of when she asked me to, and continued pouring my feelings out onto paper. Thus, came the song of 'After Cloudia'.

On that day, I saw her dream, while she was waving her hand. The ability of seizing it is now as well, vanishing into the far off, boundless sky. Leaving a rainbow behind. The more I think about the day she was here, the more painful it becomes…