Hello there!
Well, to be fair, I've thought about how Daryl would 'come out' to his family (especially Rick) for a while. And this idea just appeared in the middle of nowhere when I was having a nice dinner with friends... don't ask me why, I don't even know myself!
I hope you'll enjoy it, English isn't my first language and I'm so sorry in advance for the mistakes in my text.
Do not hesitate to tell me in the comments how you think the entire coming out thing would go, I'm actually thinking about doing an entire serie of these?!
"I'm gay"
This wasn't how he had planned to do it, really. He was planning to be smooth, or at least as much as he could, being Daryl Dixon and all. He had thought about it for a while now, a few weeks, maybe months. Ever since he had arrived in Alexandria, when things had settled down and they had found the community.
It all started with Aaron and Eric. At first, he had been surprised by the two lover. Not because they were two men loving men, no, but because they were… happy. And free to be whoever they wanted to be, without shame. They never even thought about hiding their relationship even when they didn't know the new group yet. And Daryl admired that.
He admired it, and he was extremely jealous. Because he had never told anyone who he truly was. He had never told anyone that he had never desired any women like he desired men ever since he had first felt the sparkles of sexual desire. He had never told anyone that the only kiss he ever shared with anyone was with a man, in the back alley of a dirty bar. He had never told anyone that Merle had beaten the shit out of him when he found out, and that he had been so sore and afraid afterwards that even when his brother was away, he was afraid to do it again.
Daryl Dixon had never told anyone that he was gay. But for the fist time in his life, he wanted to say it. For the first time in his life, he felt safe enough to share this heavy secret with someone. He had lived through so much with these people, the ones he called family. And they didn't care about what he had done in his life, who he was before that; and Daryl felt at home for the very first time in his life.
So when he blurted it out suddenly, air leaving his lungs with his words, he immediately felt dizzy. His head was spinning, his breath short and his lungs burning from the lack of air, and he even feared for a few moments that he would start crying like a baby or faint like an idiot. He regretted it almost as soon as the words passed his lips, and bit back the inside of his cheek until he felt blood flooding his mouth. His head was bowed, and he found a sudden interest in his dirty shoes. Everything to keep him from looking at the person he had just blurted that to.
"I know."
And just like that, Daryl was able to breath again. Blinking a few times, he found the strength to look up at his friend after a few long seconds. He looked up at the one he considered a brother, the one who'd been by his since since the start, even when they didn't know each other yet. He wanted to speak, to ask how, when or why, but he realized that he was simply left speechless by Rick's reaction.
"What?" He croaked in a whisper, his voice weakened by the emotion.
Rick smiled.
"Daryl… we've traveled together for what? Four years now? We've been through hell. All of us. Together. We've seen things, about each other, that we never thought we'd see. But mostly, we've learned from each other. In so many ways. And I've figured this » he waves with his hand at Daryl, who stays as stunned as he was a few seconds ago « a long time ago, too. »
« But… how? »
« I just knew. Everyone knew, really. »
Daryl should have felt uncomfortable, or even ashamed at the thought that for a long time, months, even years maybe, everyone had known. That each glance in his direction was full of knowledge, just like every touch or hugs they had shared. Months ago, they had figured out who he truly was. He should have just gone away, leave Rick like this, sitting at his dining room table, and leave Alexandria for a little bit. Trying to figure out how to react, how to act with his family knowing that they knew.
But he wasn't. He wasn't uncomfortable at all. In fact, he felt relief slowly spreading through his entire body, and closed his eyes for a few seconds, taking a deep breath. Yes, they knew. They had known for a while. And nothing had ever changed.
« Thank you » he finally whispered, opening his eyes to look at other man smiled, and grabbed him by the shoulder to crush their bodies together in a tight hug. Daryl let himself feel, truly, for the first time in a long while. And he finally relaxed in the hug, closing his eyes and putting his arms around the other man to hug him back just as tight.
« You will always be free to be whoever you wanna be, Daryl. And no one will ever judge you for that. We love you the way you are, I love you the way you are. You are my brother, and I will always stand by your side. No matter what happens, or where we are. Nothing will ever change this. »
Daryl would fight anyone who'd say that he cried against Rick's collar, feeling safe for the first time in a very long time. So long, that he actually couldn't remember ever feeling that comfortable with himself.
