Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters and the story that ensues is just part of my sick and frankly weird imagination
Chapter 1
Anastasia Steele nearly rolled off the bed she was laughing that hard. She clutched on to her friend Kate and using her half empty bottle of Jack Daniels as a microphone she announced, "Do you know what the problem with men is?" Kate also rather intoxicated at this point just giggled.
"They don't know what they want in a woman, and if they don't know how am I supposed?" She seemed proud with her revelation. "I wish someone would just tell me what to do already" she continued.
"Problem being if they told you what to do would you listen?" Kate asked.
Anastasia thought about the subject for possibly the longest minute of her life, she took another dramatic swig out of the bottle to fill the silence and finally she said "maybe"
"You should Google it then" Kate mocked "Google knows everything"
As if this was a revelation that could save woman kind Anastasia bounded, none to gracefully, off the bed and stumbled over to her apple mac, turning it on impatiently.
30 minutes later and the answer was still the same, even with the help of Cosmo, Ask men and every other website within the first page of the Google search engine the answer pretty much came to, men like girls that are soft but powerful, talkative but not overly talkative, pretty but not too pretty or they would be scared other men may want them. Basically in conclusion the men of the world, or at least of the internet didn't seem to know what they wanted.
"All men are different, you're never going to know it must stay forever a a mystery" Kate said snatching the bottle from Anastasia and taking a swig.
"But I don't want all men. Just one man. I am going to put out an ad" Anastasia smiled sinisterly.
"An ad for what?" Kate asked.
"Give me a minute and I will show you"
After around 10 minutes of drunken typing and deleting and then some more deleting Anastasia seemed proud of her Ad enough to show her friend it read:
What do men really want?
Confused 21 year old woman seeks man to tell her what to do with her life. Men interested in nudes, threesomes or weird sexual encounters need not apply. Also if you're a serial killer, no thanks. If your interested email me at Anasteele
Anastasia confidently pressed send, and within 10 minutes she had forgotten her ad and fell drunkenly to sleep, she had no idea how many messages she would wake up too.
