This was originally going to be a longer one-shot, but I found myself changing tone in here and there, so I decided to make it a series of shorter chapters.


"This is ALL your fucking fault."

"My fault?"

"Taystee told us to stop arguing, and you couldn't just shut your mouth." Joe growled. "You had to get the last word in."

Natalie and Joe stood in small utility closet. The door was locked, and they'd heard Taystee and Cindy push something against it. The strong, antiseptic scent of lemon cleaner that filled the room was already giving Natalie a slight headache; the only positive to it was that it helped mask the smell lingering on Joe's clothes from his trip to the "Poo." The room had a shelf with a few bottles of various cleaners, a mop and a broom, and a utility sink. Only half of the lights worked, and water dripped from a leak in the ceiling.

Joe was just glad it wasn't the same storage closet they'd found Tricia dead in, or the one he'd caught Mendez fucking Daya in.

"Have you forgotten why I'm even here?" Natalie argued, exasperated. "Because the prison you are supposed to oversee started a fucking riot?"

"And you came in like Wonder Woman thinking you can fix everything."

"First of all, I would look fucking hot in that costume. Second, I was doing fine with negotiations before they let you out of the shitter." Natalie tried to storm to the corner of the closet but dragged Joe along with her.

She'd temporarily forgotten about the handcuffs that joined her left hand to his right.

"Fine for the inmates, or fine for the governor and MCC?" Joe retorted.

"I already told you that I don't give a shit about MCC. Yes, I was working for the governor, but I was trying to help those women." Natalie said sincerely. "I was trying to sort out what I thought could and couldn't be done for them."

Joe sighed. "Look, we have to stop fighting. If they hear us in here screaming at each other, they'll never let us out. That's what got us in here. She said she's leaving us in here until we can get along."

"We'll be dead before that happens."

"Fig…"

"Fine. Let's sit down then. We are going to be here for a while."

"We'll have to sit down together so we don't yank each other to the floor. Let's lean back against this wall." Joe pulled her over to the wall and they put their backs to it. "One, two, three."

Once they'd slid down the wall and sat down next to each other, Natalie tried to figure out what to do with her legs, first trying to curl them around her, then having them straight in front of her, then finally kicking off her high heels and putting her feet flat on the floor and her knees up. With her untethered hand, she desperately tried to pull her skirt down.

"What are you worried about?" Joe chuckled. "I'm the only one in here, and I've seen it up close and personal. Having me see you with your skirt yanked up to your waist isn't exactly new for you."

"Shut up, Joe." Natalie had busied herself with examining their handcuffs. She yanked at the chain joining them and tried to pull at the cuffs.

Joe was amused by her efforts. "I know you didn't take the CO pathway to your former position here like I did, but surely you know how handcuffs work."

"I'm just trying to…"

"No matter how much you pull and fiddle with them, they're not going to unlock. You're just hurting our wrists by yanking on them." Joe smirked. "You know… This isn't how I pictured you in handcuffs."

"I'm not sure if that's a sexual comment, or if you're reiterating that you wanted to see me go to jail."

Joe shrugged. "Either way, because I've pictured both."

"You're disgusting."

"So are you, if memory serves." Joe said with a knowing smirk.