Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.
Written for Hogwarts, Assignment 8 - Angelica Schuyler: Write about never being satisfied.
Beta'd by the lovely Sam and Jenny.
Word Count - 1578
Never Be Enough
The first time, she'd simply lost her temper. A student had laughed because she'd not understood something in class. Did they not realise that she'd had six months of her life stolen from her? That she hadn't been in the class to understand the work because she'd been attacked and almost killed?
She'd made sure he understood later, when she'd come across him in a deserted corridor. She made she he knew not to laugh at her when she messed up her work because she'd missed six months of her life.
The blood running down the side of his face made her pause. She'd done that. She'd caused that to happen. The rush of power, the flood of adrenaline, the release of something that had been building inside her made her feel indestructible. Unbreakable.
She could have this revenge.
She could have it and she could enjoy it.
…
The second time had been because she wanted it - craved it. The man had been asking for it; he'd touched her bum when she passed him in the bar, on her way back to the table she'd been sitting at with Alicia and Angelina.
She'd looked back at him for just a moment, memorising his face as he winked at her. Disgusting pervert, she scoffed in her mind. How dare he think he could touch her like that? As though she was nothing but a plaything?
As the night passed by to the ticking of the clock, she kept her eye on him. When he stumbled to his feet, she said her goodnights to her friends, feigning tiredness to get out of the bar without them trying to accompany her.
They were worried about her, she knew. She felt guilty about that.
She didn't want them to worry.
Katie followed the man into the alley by the side of the bar, her wand slipping into her hand. She tortured him slowly, a blanket silencing charm keeping them hidden from those still drinking happily inside.
He begged and pleaded with her for his life, and she grinned at the first sight of blood blossoming from a jagged slice on his hand.
She left him, obliviated but alive, her mind momentarily sated with the knowledge that he wouldn't be touching any other girl's bum ever again.
She'd made sure of that.
His hands lay meters away from his body, tossed towards the bin with a Banishing Charm. She left the alley with a smile on her face and adrenaline in her bloodstream, her need for revenge sated for the moment.
…
The third, fourth and fifth times were because she needed it.
The papers had caught wind of her murders, calling her a 'vigilante', but she ignored them. It was nothing so noble as that; merely a need to fulfill the growing desire for revenge against a world that had wronged her.
She was careful. She searched and watched and waited, and she chose her victims well. She watched for acts of wrongdoing, for the most disgusting dregs of the wizarding world. She watched for those that would prey on the weak and the helpless and she made them feel the pain they inflicted.
She wasn't hurting innocents.
She was getting revenge, both for herself and for the victims of these monsters that she stalked.
Each time, she felt the same euphoria, but it lasted less and less time the more she indulged it. It frustrated her that the feeling didn't last.
She needed it. She needed it to feel alive, to feel like she had a purpose.
…
"Have you thought about getting a job?" Angelina asked.
Katie shrugged. "What would I put on a resume?"
"You have a lot to offer, Kat," Alicia murmured, frowning slightly at her friend.
The two of them had surprised Katie that morning with a visit. Katie, while happy to see her friends, was antsy. She'd been following a man for the last week, and she hated that she might miss him if she stayed inside much longer.
Katie snorted. "Like what? I barely finished Hogwarts, my exam scores were a mess."
"Katie -"
"I mean, would you put day drinking under experience or special abilities? What about sleeping in until midday? Where would nightmares so horrific I can pass for a zombie about sixty five percent of the time go?"
"You're a good flyer. Have you thought about trying out at one of the open days the Quidditch leagues run?" Angelina asked.
She had that worried look in her eyes again, and Katie felt a familiar stab of guilt. Reigning herself in, she shook her head.
"I'm sorry, I didn't sleep well. I shouldn't be taking it out on you."
Alicia sighed, leaning over to squeeze Katie's knee. "We just worry about you. You've got so many skills, Kat, you'd be brilliant at a lot of things."
"Maybe," Katie replied non-committedly. "I think, at least for today, my plan is to try and get some sleep."
Angelina nodded sympathetically. "We should go and let you rest."
Katie waved her off half heartedly, but she was happy to see her friends to the door. She hated deceiving them. They were both so kind to her, had always been kind, but what she needed, they couldn't give her.
She watched them leave and closed the door, racing to her bedroom to change. Within minutes, she was following their footsteps out of the door, Apparating to where she suspected her latest victim would be. She'd lost about an hour, but she had hope she'd be able to find him.
…
"Why are you doing this?" he screamed. "Please, just stop, just kill me!"
It was music to her ears, and she grinned.
"Revenge is beautiful, don't you think?" she asked, giving him a breather from the pain.
"I haven't done anything to you," he sobbed, curling in on himself.
"No," she admitted. "But you've preyed on others, haven't you? Preyed on the weak, and the young? You're a monster. Admit it!"
"Fine, fine, I'm a monster, is that what you want to hear? Please, please just… stop. I can't take anymore."
"No," she replied, raising her wand once more. "I want to hear you scream."
As her spell touched his skin, he let out an ear splitting shriek that made her soul sing with exhilaration.
He was almost to his limit, she knew, as she started slicing his skin open with precise slashes.
"You're… insane," he gasped out, before the light left his eyes.
She nodded at the dead man. "You're quite possibly correct."
Her skin itched. She frowned. The itch usually went away with a kill, at least for a little while, but it was still there, lessened but still there.
Why had it stopped working?
When had revenge stopped being enough?
…
She was drinking whiskey from the bottle when she was caught. She'd known they were coming, had known that she'd messed up.
She'd been impulsive, and she'd killed the wrong person. An innocent. She'd been horrified at what she'd done, and that had led to carelessness.
People had seen her coated in blood, crying in to her own hands.
"Katie Bell, you're under arrest for the murders of fifteen people," the Auror told her sternly.
She went willingly. What did she have to fight for? They knew it was her; she wouldn't deny them. They were her kills, and she couldn't pretend she wasn't proud of them.
She'd taken the scum off the streets. She'd done their job for them. She'd done for hundreds of nameless, faceless people what nobody had done for her when she'd been cursed with Imperius and forced to do another's bidding.
She'd gotten revenge. She'd saved people before they could be attacked.
…
"We convinced them to let you have hot chocolate," Angelina murmured, handing over a cup.
Katie stared at Angelina and Alicia. "What are you doing here?" she asked. The ward of St Mungo's was secure, and Katie hadn't seen anyone but the Healer in charge for weeks.
"We're still your friends," Alicia whispered. "We should've realised you needed help. None of this is your fault, Kat."
Katie's eyes widened. Her defence had managed to get her locked away in the hospital instead of prison on an insanity plea, but Katie hadn't thought anyone actually believed it.
"Girls… I knew what I was doing. You… you deserve to know that. I knew that what I was doing was lawfully wrong but… I needed it. You, nobody understands that. I need it."
Alicia shook her head. "They can help you here. One day, Katie, you'll be allowed to come back out into the world. When they've helped you, you'll be allowed home."
Katie wondered at her friend's naivety, but she didn't say anything. Instead, she drank her hot chocolate and listened to the girls prattle on about the world outside the four walls keeping Katie hostage.
The whole time they were there, Katie could picture them covered in blood. She could see the light leaving their eyes, could feel their last breaths on her skin.
That was why they needed to keep her here, she knew.
She'd never be satisfied again. It wasn't enough anymore. It'd never be enough, and she'd never be able to stop.
When they left, she hugged them both goodbye.
When the Healer came to check on her, she requested no more visits. She couldn't trust herself anymore.
Nobody was safe with her.
Written for;
Character Appreciation - 25. Katie Bell
Book Club - Chad Mulligan - Kind / Hot Chocolate / Searching for someone.
Ami's Audio - 9. Vigilante
Lo's Lowdown - C11. T'challa - Someone who wants revenge
TV Addicts - Marvel's Jessica Jones - Unbreakable / Whiskey / "Would you put day drinking under experience or special abilities."
Easter Bingo - 83. Insane
Auction - Crime Genre
