When we were young, we did enough
When it got cold, we bundled up
I can't be told, it can't be done
It's better to feel pain then nothing at all, the opposite of love's indifference. – Stubborn Love by The Lumineers
I hate my life; I hate the very existence I walk on where I have to waste my skills and will power working weekends in a shithole of a diner, in this shithole of a town; filled with mill workers, old women and dead beats.
The entire town got together where I worked on Saturday's: "Billy's diner"
Funny irony for you there, seeing that the owner's name was Charles and Charles was an asshole of a man with grabby hands and cheap pockets.
My weekends spend in this joint as a waitress I usually dreamt of a way out of Pittsburgh's working class. Just somewhere far away like L.A or even London, I'd settle for Europe over this place any goddamn day.
As the night rolled in, I was busy taking my orders from the chief whose name was Robert. He was a nice guy, a nice stoner, but still a nice person, better than most, like my best friend Charlotte. The bitch had gotten me into so much trouble these past three years of High School that I was afraid that the word "best friend" was a bit of a stretch for her.
I never really liked school, not that my job was any better when the people from school came rolling in through the doors.
The popular kids: Mara, Stephen, Jo, Carla and Dan, or fuckers, that was the word you could describe these people with. Their parents either owned or where owners of souls, when I say souls, I mean they owned the biggest disturbers of mill workers.
-"Please, don't make me go over there" Charlotte begged, it was her fucking table, like always she only had a big mouth and no backbone.
So I did her the favor putting my best affords into smiling, as I walked around to the booth hearing the laughter come to an end.
-"What will it be today, folks?" I asked putting my pen to the white notepad in my hand, -"How's your dad, Joe?" Carla asked coyly; apparently the ethic's to normal human behavior escaped her and her Mercedes Benz.
–"Still beating me, now what would you like to drink?" I said in a sarcastic tone, looking at her, she was still trying to make a fool of me as always.
-"We'll have five burgers and some fries" Dan answered for everyone putting his menu up at me so I could take it. Dan was a handsome guy, bright blue eyes, coal black hair and a clean smile, he had once asked me out, I figured it was only for a dare by some of the other guys, so I declined!
-"Alright then" I perked up, took all their menus in, before turning my back to them, praying that I Carla would keep her fucking mouth shut. I was wrong, a strong laughter from the booth cried out as I walked away.
Pushing the menus over the counter to Silas, my friend, he worked with me in this hell hole. –"Don't let them get to you" he said as I stood there, feeling a pair of eyes looking at me on the bar stool right next to me.
Silas was smiling, looking that way, I turned my head in the direction noticing the boy with his hoodie over his head; Tommy Conlon.
Everyone was pretty much scared shitless of him, except for me and Silas, that being us knowing Tommy from association. We weren't best friends or anything, it's just Tommy saved Silas once from getting his ass kicked by the jocks in our parking lot when we where 11. He beat the guys head in.
-"If it isn't the prodigal son" I said not giving him much attention, going around the counter.
Tommy Conlon no matter how nice he could seem after you get to know him, was as twisted as the devil himself, with his alcoholic dad beating his mom and his brother just disappearing a month ago with Tess Durham. It could make anyone go a little dark, but Tommy was beyond saving, everyone knew that, even I.
-"You're not gonna give me a kiss?" he said when I was just about to step in through the revolving kitchen doors, I knew he would bring this up, me losing my virginity to him before he went to the state wrestling match. I was drunk, stupid and regretting it the day after.
I turned my heel around, taking a deep breath looking at his blood shot eyes mooning over the cup of coffee between his busted hands. I had never noticed how fucking broken he was until he showed up a month or two after a wresting meet. It made me feel sorry for him, so I walked over, leaned myself over the counter and pecked him once on the lips, they where soft and rough, like him.
When I pulled away I saw that coy smile of his, Tommy Conlon was sure to leave, you could bet on that, we all knew he would rise up and leave this town.
-"Mind me crashing at your place?" he passed at me when I took his coffee cup, it was cold, -"I'll get you a fresh cup" I said avoiding the question, he would do this, show up outside my door, stay, then leave like I was a fucking motel.
Silas looked at us both; I could feel his feeble brown eyes staring at us from the coffee machine pretending he was making a cup of coffee.
–"You could stay with Silas" I said looking over my shoulder, Silas put his hands up, -"No, he can't" smiling before walking into the kitchen.
Fucking Silas, fucking diner, fucking Tommy Conlon, always demanding things from me, not giving anything back.
-"Fine, I'm off in about two hours, just meet me in the back" I said to Tommy, filling his cup up with hot coffee, his cold fingers traveled over my wrist that was holding the white mug, -"Thanks, Jolene"
I just nodded my head, God was a cunt, and I was fucked if my dad found out I was storing a boy in my bedroom, last time he almost bashed my scull in, leaving me with more bruises then I had concealer to cover.
Closing the shop was easy, if only life could be this easy: clean up, count money, check out the register, and lock up. With a black trash bag in on hand and my purse in the other I went out the back. Seeing Tommy leaned against the brick wall with his green training bag over his shoulder, I threw the trash in the trash can, walked passed him, -"Come on, Conlon"
We didn't say much, all he did was try to reach for my hand while we walked, I gave him that much of myself, because I figured I didn't have anything more to lose.
The night was cold, my converse shoes seemed a bit of a risk wearing during these months, still I didn't have anything else to wear other then my leather jacket and converse shoes which I shivered in as we walked hand in hand down the street.
Tommy stopped up for a moment, taking off his varsity jacket, draping it over my shoulders, only having his hoodie to keep him warm.
–"You don't have to" I said as we continued walking.
-"I'm warm blooded, I'll manage" he smiled, taking my hand again.
He was warm-blooded, even his hands felt like touching an open fire, it was a comfortable warmth, his varsity jacket felt heavy on my shoulders, it smelled like him as well: soap and that scent only he gave off.
When we walked up my porch the lights where off, I guessed that my dad was still at work as I struggled to find my keas. My home wasn't a place I was proud of, everything creaked, the dishes where never done, the place looked a proper mess. Still Tommy walked in and up the stairs before me, he knew where my room was and I followed after locking the door again.
–"This is new" he said playing with the lock on my door, I had put it on after my dad brought home some guys one night that tried to get into my room when I was sleeping, the bastards loved their liquor and minors.
–"Precautions" I hinted then unlocked my room, letting Tommy walk in first; he turned on the lights, dropping his bag on my bed.
With the door locked in a double lock I started undressing, first by taking his jacket off me and throwing it at him.
Then taking my jacket off and shoes, -"Just make yourself comfortable, I need to have a shower, smelling like fries isn't something I want" I commented picking up my pajamas off the bed.
One good thing about these old houses is that they have more than one bathroom and I had my own, it was nice and clean unlike the rest of the house.
Turning on the water, I heard Tommy from the other room; -"I'm sorry about leaving you last time we had sex, I didn't know it was your first time"
Talk about random was all I could think of as I closed the door to resume washing myself, my body felt better after a shower, my mind was clean as well, or as clean as it could be.
The pajamas I was wearing where torn at the knee on both legs, I didn't care that they had tainted rainbows on them or that the red top I wore with the blue pajama pants didn't match. I wasn't aiming to impress the guy on my bed, still I felt self-conscious walking out with my wet red hair stuck to my shoulders and probably the most flustered face ever after the hot shower I just had.
Tommy was sitting with his back against my bed headboard, reading something that looked terribly like my journal.
I cocked my brow at his direction as he grinned; -"My dick is the biggest thing you had ever seen?" his laugh pierced my calm shower buzz as the panic spread set im, -"Oh hell no" I hissed jumping into the bed and on top of him, reaching for my journal.
The body under me was stronger in procuring to keep me away from the book, his arm against my chest jerking me away, but not for long due to the heavy laughter spreading through his body. I felt his well build arm caving in right before I landed flat on his chest.
With Tommy still laughing, something he rarely did, but when he did it was heartily and contagious, so I started laughing too, and then grabbed the book out of his hand. –"Jolene" he said my name softly.
I pushed my hand on his chest, looking a bit up at his ruffled hair and goofy smile across those full lips of his, -"You like my big dick" he broke out in laughter again.
-"You son of a bitch" I hissed, hitting him hard across the chest so he sprung up a little in pain, his hand still not releasing itself from my back.
-"Let me go" I kept hissing angry, this was by far the most embarrassing thing that has happened to me all day, minus those fuckers that showed up at the diner demanding their stupid burgers.
Tommy's head arched itself against mine, his warm stomach tensed under me and his soft lips met mine for the second time today, they tasted like coffee.
I found myself getting lost kissing him: our lips moving slowly, his tongue gliding with mine, his grip around my body framing his figure against mine and he wasn't showing any signs of letting go.
You could be sure that Tommy Conlon would always leave, but the bastard seemed to come back each time, if not for me, then for the horrible black coffee that Pittsburgh had to offer.
