Just watched 4x17 and I'm literally crying. Why is everyone so mean to my poor baby Spencer? Especially Emily. I miss sweet little Emily. Anyway, please enjoy!

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Spencer sat there as Toby stomped away, unable to stop the tears from rolling down her face. Everything was falling apart. Her father's secrets were slowly unraveling her family, Emily probably hated her, and she was sure that Toby was one argument away from breaking up with her. And that had all happened earlier that day. What she had been through in the last three years was more than most people three times her age go through in a lifetime.

She had been so close so many times. So close to death that she could taste it on her tongue at times.

Was she really in the wrong about following Emily? She just wanted to make sure her friend would be alright. With A around every corner, it wasn't safe to be anywhere alone. And Shana was close to Jenna - way too close to be faking. And it wasn't like they could trust Ali either. She had been alive this whole time and didn't bother to even leave them a note? She was talking about not being able to trust her, Aria, and Hanna, but trust is a two-way street. They weren't the ones who just up and left everyone they "cared" about without so much as a goodbye.

Not to mention, she reached out to Emily who is, "coincidentally," madly in love with her. Ali liked games, she liked to mess with them. But Spencer was done being played with. By her, A, and everyone else. It was time to win this four year long game with Ali for good.

Because a Hasting always wins.

But Toby? He was a whole other story. She wanted him to get the closure about his mother's death that he needed. But Because of her father (her lying, manipulative, asshole of a father), he would never get it. Not only that, he didn't want it. Why wouldn't he want to know if a deranged patient pushed his mother? Why wouldn't he want Radley - the place she had suffered days in - destroyed?

She knew she was pushy and controlling a lot of the time, but was she really so bad that it would drive everyone she cared about away from her? Emily, Toby, Aria, Hanna - would they all leave her one day because of how she was?

Spencer felt a pounding in her head and groaned. She was thinking to much and she needed at least five cups of coffee.

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For what felt like hours, she sat along in the dark downing coffee like a madwoman. Spencer was on her sixth cup when she heard footsteps walking towards her. "Spence?" There was a loud yawn. "What are you still doing up?"

"Thinking," answered Spencer, taking another sip. Her eye twitched.

Toby walked closer, eyeing the sizeable mug she was drinking out of. "How many times have you refilled that?" he asked.

Spencer didn't look at him, just kept her eyes forward. "Around five times," she replied. "I just don't think I can sleep right now."

Toby sat down next to her and wrapped his arms around her, rubbing his nose against the crook of her neck. "And why is that, beautiful?"

Spencer didn't react to his touch as she normally did, which scared him. "Em and I got into a fight." She bit her lip. "And she's never going to forgive me." And maybe she didn't deserve to be forgiven, but she didn't regret going. They had no way of knowing if Shana was telling the truth or of Ali's true intentions. Though, it seemed like all she did was get on Emily's bad side lately. No matter what she did, she ended up setting her off.

Maybe this was the last time. Maybe this time she crossed the line to the point of no return. She knew she would have to avoid her for a while, possibly Hanna and Aria as well if they took her side. She could even lose Toby since he and Emily were such good friends. That was fine. She would cope. She didn't know how, but she would one way or another. She was a Hasting and a Hasting doesn't let anything shake them.

Toby pulled away, taking hold of her chin so he could study her face. "You've been crying," he observed, gazing at her with concerned and weary eyes. "It's not because of what I said, is it?"

Spencer shrugged. "Not really. More like everything that's happened since the night Alison went missing combined into one scary monster of problems." She inhaled sharply, feeling the caffeine hit her hard all at once. "Toby, why are you still with me?"

Toby furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion. "Huh?" Wasn't it obvious? He was with her because he loved her, as he's said to her multiple times before.

She turned away from him. "You know me, you know how I am. I'm controlling, pushy, ignorant to people's feelings, and I always think I know what's best for everyone. Why would you want to be with someone like that?"

Toby thought about this for a moment before moving her smaller body so that she was sitting on his lap. "Spence, so what if you're all those things? They're not bad. They're what make you Spencer Jill Hastings. Besides, you're much more than that. You're smart, beautiful, determined, and you'd do anything for the people you care about. I love you for being you."

Spencer buried her head into his chest, tears once again leaking out of her eyes without her consent. She didn't deserve Toby, she truly didn't. And she was terrified for the time when he would learn that himself. "I love you too," she whispered. She chuckled dryly. "I don't think I'm sleeping for a while." She untangled herself from Toby's arms. "I'm going out for a drive."

Toby regarded her cautiously. "Do you want me to come with you?"

Spencer smiled and kissed his cheek. "No, that's alright. I won't be long." With that, she left.

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Spencer woke up to a strange setting, yet not one that she hadn't become accustomed to since A forced his/her self into their lives. Was she in... a hospital room? She tried to sit up before someone gently pushed her back down. "Spence, don't get up so quick," a familiar voice warned. She found herself looking directly into twin blue pools.

Spencer squinted at him. "Toby?" She groaned, her headache from earlier coming back one hundred times worse. "What happened? Why are we here?"

Toby swallowed looking at her with tears in his eyes. "You were driving when you spiraled out of control. Your car's fine, but you hit your head on the dashboard and you sprained your arm when it collided with the steering wheel."

Spencer reached up and wiped some of his tears away. "Hey, it's not a big deal. I'm alright. Nothing too serious, right?"

Toby kissed her gently on the forehead. "God, Spence, you scared me. Do you remember what happened?"

Spencer shook her head. "No, I-"

She was interrupted by Emily bursting through the hospital doors, Aria and Hanna in tow. "Oh my god, Spencer!" she screamed, practically running towards her friend. "Are you alright? What the hell happened?"

Spencer looked at her sadly. "I'm sorry, Em," she whimpered. "I shouldn't have-"

Emily looked like she wanted to hit her. "Do you really think I care about that right now?!" she snapped, cutting her off. "You're lying in a goddamn hospital bed!"

Aria went over to her side. "Are you alright?" she asked softly. "What happened?"

Hanna had a murderous look on her face. "Who do I have to kill?"

"No one," Spencer assured her. "My car spiraled out of control, probably because I had too much coffee. I'm fine."

"It wasn't you," Emily grit out, showing Spencer the message on her phone:

You shouldn't be too mad at Spence, Em. After all, today could be her last day on this Earth. Better hightail it to the hospital if you want to say goodbye.
-A

"A planned that?" asked Spencer in shock. She shouldn't be surprised. This had A written all over it.

"I'll kill him," Toby growled. "I'll fucking kill him."

Spencer took his hand in hers. "Stop going all Alpha Male on me," she mumbled. "You make it hard to stay my pro-feminist self." The five of them had a good laugh and it seemed like they were regular teenagers, even if only for a moment.

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Man, I fucking love this show. Also, her parents weren't there because they're visiting Melissa or something. And let me say something about Spencer and Emily. When I first started watching, Emily was my favorite and Spencer was my least favorite. Now halfway through season four, Spencer's my favorite and Emily's my least favorite. Ironic, no? I get that Emily's been through a lot, but she is always in her feelings about everything. It's always about how she feels and her side of the story. And honestly, it's getting pretty damn annoying. I like Emily, but even when Spencer suggests the slightest possibility of something she doesn't like, she goes off. Not to mention, when Spencer asked who knew how to change a tire and everyone looked at Emily, she got all defensive and asked, "What, because I'm gay?" Why does it seem like she brings it up every single time for every little thing? We know that you're gay for the freaking 100th time! I wanted to redeem her somewhat here and bring out the amazing person I know she is.

Anyway, I hope you liked it and please review!