A/N: This is based on a Tumblr post. As you probably know I'm not great with writing explicit stuff so this is more 'pre-sexy' times, but I hope that the humour is okay XD
Dean was preparing to indulge himself with the latest issue of Busty Asian Beauties when his phone pinged on the bedside table. He huffed as he reluctantly put the magazine down and rolled over to tell whoever it was – the number had no name - that he was extremely busy.
He opened the text which was clearly not meant for him.
After that, I'll suck your soft dick into my mouth and just keep it there as it gets hard.
The next text came through in an obvious panicked rush as it lacked the punctuation of the previous one.
oh sit bro wrong chat bro
Dean knew that he should be shocked at receiving the explicit message from a stranger, but he had already decided that he was going to give himself some sweet relief that night so he thought that he might as well roll with it. He sank down into his mattress as he texted back:
All good bro
Go on
Dean did become alarmed when whoever sent him the texts started calling him. He freaked out momentarily and dropped his phone on his face before scrambling to pick it up again and answering with his voice high above its usual octave.
"Hello?"
"Oh, have I got you worked up already?" A man replied smugly.
Dean cleared his throat and got himself back into a casual pose before remembering that whoever it was could not actually see him.
"I'm doing just fine, thank you. I recognise your voice; not many people sound that rugged."
"Well, you get three guesses or else I'm hanging up" the man teased.
"No need to guess; I definitely remember a name as unique as yours too. Castiel, right? You're Sam's bestie."
"That is correct. I'm so honoured that you remember me. It's been a while, Dean."
"Yeah, when exactly was the last time we crossed paths?" Dean asked.
"It was at that house party you and Sam threw a couple of months ago" Castiel recalled. "You slipped me your number and asked me to call you so you'd know that I got home safe."
"Oh, yeah" Dean said as he nodded along. "Dad went on a hunting trip so Sam and I took full advantage of his absence. My memory is a little hazy but I do remember the two of us getting a little handsy. How exactly did we leave things?"
"Not…great" Castiel confessed. "You hit on me, and then we fondled each other for a few minutes, and then you went to throw up in Sam's sock drawer."
Dean cringed as he started to have minor flashbacks.
"Please tell me I didn't come off as a total douchebag?" he nervously enquired.
"Well it doesn't matter; Sam tried to warn me off you the first time we met. Naturally that just made me want to see you more." There was air of seduction surrounding his words which made Dean shuffle around a little excitedly.
"I'm hoping that you're just over exaggerating or that your brain is just as foggy as mine is" Dean said. He did not want Castiel to think that he was sleazy.
"Afraid not; I can handle my liquor really well. You asked if I'd fallen from heaven because my ass was out of this world and then politely enquired if you could squeeze between my thighs like a walnut in a cracker."
Dean felt a horrible sinking feeling in his stomach and smacked a hand over his eyes; he was glad that Castiel could not see just exactly how hard he was blushing from embarrassment.
"What the hell is wrong with me? I am so sorry; you must think I'm a real pervert."
"Actually I was totally into it" Castiel replied sincerely. "I didn't put on my especially tight pants for nothing you know."
Dean couldn't help giving a small sigh of relief. "I still think that I should apologise" he said seriously.
"Don't worry about it" Castiel said dismissively. "It was oddly poetic."
They shared a laugh at that.
"I hope that wasn't sarcasm because now I'm seriously considering writing a screenplay" Dean joked.
"I don't think you were that articulate" Castiel jibed. "Anyways, a real douchebag wouldn't have wanted to make sure that I got home safe, so, you're good."
"I'm glad to hear that" Dean said with a grin. "From what I remember I had an awesome time with you."
"Well, if you liked my text then we can maybe continue having an even more awesome one?" Castiel suggested. "I just got dressed for bed but my room is so hot I think I might need to strip down again…"
"Okay" Dean said, hoping that he was holding himself well as he felt a sudden twinge from down below. "But I just have one question to ask you first. Who did you mean to send that text to?"
"My friend, Balthazar" Castiel explained. "We're nothing serious we just…experiment.
"So, just friends with benefits?" Dean reiterated; he didn't want all of his hopes to be crushed.
"Absolutely. You have nothing to get jealous about" Castiel assured him.
"Good…that's good" Dean said with a soft and pleased smile. "I'm still having a little ambiguity though. I mean you are my little brother's best friend."
"I'm sure that Sam would just want us both to be…happy. But if it concerns you so much you could always talk to him about it first. I'd wait for you."
Dean found that he certainly could not delay this.
"Hang on" he said to Castiel before lowering the phone to his chest. "Sam!" he shouted.
"What!?" Sam yelled back.
"Are you okay with me and Cas jacking each other off!?"
"What the hell?! I don't want to hear about that you jerk!"
"Well!?"
"No I am not! But I know you're going to do it anyway so for the love of God just keep it to yourselves!"
Dean picked up the phone again and tried to get back to playing it cool.
"He's totally fine with it, but, uh…we should maybe just go back to sexting for now."
"Sounds good to me" Castiel said. "I'll give you ten minutes to make sure that everything… is in place. I eagerly await your reply."
With that he hung up and Dean let out a deep sigh of desire.
He took a few moments to psyche himself up before he picked up the Asian Beauty magazine and swiftly threw it onto the floor.
He certainly would not need that anymore.
