Wallflower
Summary: When I was four, my mother told me that my very own Prince Charming would always be there to save me. After several meetings with the same blue-haired boy, each one more embarrassing than the other, it's safe to say she was very very right. YukimuraOC
Disclaimer: I do not own PoT.
Chapter 1: Of First Time Meetings
"I don't want to be alone; I want to be left alone."
― Audrey Hepburn
When I was four, my mother used to read me fairy-tales. Stories of princes, dragons, damsels in distress, knights in shining armours, and how every story had a happy ending.
When I was four I tended to believe those stories too.
And I- like every other girl my age- asked my mother in that adorable eyes glistening sort of way, whether I would ever have my own Prince Charming. At that time my mother would either brush away my question smiling or tell me to go to sleep.
I should have probably got the hint then and shut up.
But no, I kept asking and asking until one day she finally gave up and answered. I still remember that weary look in her eyes when she said, "Sweetie you'll find your Prince Charming someday. He'll be perfect- all smiles and charm, and you'll fall in love with him. But-"
Innocent, naïve little me grinned broadly and interrupted her before she could get any further, "And we'll live happily ever after right? Because that's how stories go mama; we'll be happy forever." I looked up at her with bright bright eyes and she pulled me into her arms and gazed at me with a look I didn't understand at that time, and said, "Kira, one day you'll find your Prince Charming. You just have to trust him okay? He might hurt you sometimes, or you might not understand him; but trust him darling, trust him. Remember Prince Charming will always protect you."
I remember jumping up and down in glee and then running off to tell my teddy bears and Barbie dolls my happy story.
It wasn't until later I realised the significance of that 'but' or the look she gave me.
My mother and father were going through a hard time when she told me that story, and she had all but lost every ounce of trust she had towards the male species. A few months later, there was a divorce and my parents were given joint custody over me.
Maybe it was all the tears my mother shed, or the sadness that seemed to fill the household all the time, but I suddenly found myself growing up much faster then I should have. All my dolls were replaced with books and bedtime stories were gone, leaving me alone to my thoughts all the time.
The last in dept conversation I had with my mother was then.
Yet four year old me would never forget, what mama told her. I would forever cherish the thought that someday, Prince Charming would find me; would ride away with me into the sunset.
I'm fifteen now and I will always believe in Prince Charming.
The only thing is I won't believe or trust any one else.
My first thought upon entering Rikkaidai High School was, "Man this school is huge." The second was to turn invisible.
There were students all around me, everyone milling about with a purpose. They seemed knew the place very well, but that was expected. Most of them were nervous freshmen; the seniors would come in later. I was one of the nervous ones except most probably I was a whole lot more worried about fainting then the others.
I was hiding in the bushes, however weird that sounded. I had walked into Rikkai as early as I could to avoid bumping into anyone, which would force me to socialise. Sadly everyone else seemed to have the same idea too.
It wasn't as if I was scared, nuh huh, I just didn't like loud noises, or talking, or people. I like silence, solitude and books to keep me company. I preferred talking to myself then talking to others.
So there I was standing by the bushes in the shadows, figuring out how I could walk through the din and into the classrooms without anyone noticing me or trying to make small talk. It wasn't as if everyone would stop and talk to me or something, but the thought of having to cross so many people, laughing, shouting and generally existing, made me pale and shudder.
But nothing else could be done, so I hoisted my backpack higher onto my shoulders, attempted to morph my face into a look of confidence and indifference and left my hidey-hole.
Don't panic. Don't panic.
I walked about three metres when a boy bumped into me. I froze. He mumbled a quick apology, flashed me smile and continued to run. In seconds I found myself in the shadows again.
Again it wasn't as if I was scared- fine screw it; I was very scared, on the verge of puking my breakfast out scared.
Rikkaidai was huge, huge and full of people. In my middle school there were about half the number of kids there are here. Large enough for me to disappear into, but small enough for me not to bump into anyone unnecessarily. I was labelled a loner, and I was fine with that. No need to converse outside the boundary of projects, no need to fake laughter and smile all the time, no need to get caught in drama. I was all by myself, with silence being my best friend.
I was a very happy wallflower.
But now seeing how big the school was I wasn't so sure if I could stay alone anymore.
"You know, if you keep standing here, you're going to be late."
I jumped in shock, twirling around as fast as I could to see who was behind me. A boy around my age, with bright red hair and violet eyes smiled back at me. My heart raced in fright as I saw the proximity with which he had stood next to me, only about a foot between us. He blew a bubble and popped it, before lazily stretching his hand out to me.
"My name's Marui Bunta," he drawled. I stared at his outstretched hand with panic. A few seconds passed with me anxiously watching his hand, until he dropped it with a shrug.
"Common courtesy says you should introduce yourself too you know?" he said. He didn't look to upset, but I wasn't too sure. I was more worried about puking then courtesy at that point of time.
"Anyway you should probably get to class. If you continue to stare at the entrance like that, then you might just burn a hole," he joked, laughing a little.
I didn't say a word. Why was he trying to joke with me of all people? I mean, c'mon. There were so many other people he could bother. He gave me a curious look as his laughter slowly faded into nothingness. He opened his mouth to say more, but shut it and pushed the strap of his bag a little higher and walked out of the bushes.
He walked a few metres before turning around, cupping his mouth and shouting, "See you later Silence!" He flashed me a huge smile, and popped his bubble again before turning away.
As I calmed myself down after he left, my mind raced with the possibilities as to why he spoke to me. I was so accustomed to people leaving me to my own devices, that having someone purposefully break through to talk to me was just weird. Especially when I was trying to make myself scarce and invisible.
Don't panic. Don't panic.
My heart calmed down, and my breakfast went back into my stomach. I took in deep breaths to get back to normal after that surprise encounter.
Now that he was gone, I could actually appreciate how good-looking he had been. He had that cheery disposition that boys tried to hide, in favour of the dark, brooding look.
"Marui Bunta" I thought to myself. Glancing up to the sky, I realised that perhaps, I had just made acquaintances with someone for the first time.
I finally convinced myself that it was time to leave my hole, and face the world in all its charm. I made it past the entrance and merged into the crowd of olive green coats and blue ties. I somehow found my classroom on my own without having to ask someone. I have always prided my sense of direction; I've never had to stop and talk to anyone thanks to it.
I entered my class- 1 A, and chose a seat right next to the window in the corner of the classroom. It wasn't a great seat, considering the fact that I couldn't see the entire board, but it was dark and hidden away, and I liked that. The boy had been right, I had just made it in time; a few minutes before the teacher arrived. I observed my classmates, organizing them into categories of- people whom I would talk to if necessary, people I would only talk to if I was very desperate, and people I would never ever open my mouth to.
For example, the timid girl in the front row who looked at if she was about to cry, I would to talk to if the situation called for it or the boy in the too-small trousers who was muttering physics' formulae I would speak with if my life depended on it. But the girl with high-heels and a too short skirt who was talking to a bunch of people around her in a haughty, condescending tone, I would never ever talk to even if the world depended on it.
I always preferred having people down in lists so I would never be caught unwary. Organizing was something my mind always did wherever I was, so I could tell how to avoid a person just by understanding his personality and checking a mental list of ways to distract his attention. It helped me avoid awkward one-sided conversations with many many people.
I settled back satisfied, and patiently waited for my teacher to come in. I pulled out my binder with some blank sheets in it, if I had to take down any details, and began humming my favourite J-pop song.
Everything was peaceful and tranquil until I heard a plop beside me, and turned to see the same boy from earlier sitting in the next bench. He hadn't noticed me, momentarily distracted by the high-heeled girl calling out his name. I quickly shuffled closer to the window, raising my arm in attempt to hide my face. Maybe he would decide to leave when he saw how bad the view was.
No such luck. After the brief conversation he had with the girl, he slumped down and blew a bubble and popped it. His lips twitched slightly and he looked side-ways at me. "You know hiding your face with your arm isn't of much use."
My face burned. I shuffled a little closer to the window. There was silence once again. He turned around abruptly and faced me. He asked exasperatedly, "Seriously, are you ever going to answer back?"
I felt my eyes widening. The urge to puke was getting stronger. I tried to move back further but felt the smooth expanse of the wall on my back. I looked at his bemused face and realised, no I was definitely not ready to talk to anyone yet.
I bet I had that deer-caught-in-the-headlights look.
Suddenly his eyes widened and his face lit up with some crazy epiphany. He looked at me with an expression akin to guilt and embarrassment.
There was a pause and all that could be heard was the chattering of my classmates and the gears of my head spinning trying to calm me down.
Don't panic. Don't panic.
"You're mute aren't you?"
Before I could even process what he had just said, he wailed and moved closer to me. "I'm so so so so sorry. I didn't-I should've- Oh god, why didn't you tell me. Wait you couldn't have told me. I'm sorry."
I frowned slightly at his words. Just because I don't chatter and speak out everything on my mind, doesn't make me mute, it just makes me reserved.
He stood up, shuffled a bit and said, "Well I should go, I shouldn't have disturbed you. It must be hard right? Umm, I'll leave you to yourself then. If you need anything just come to me yeah? I'll help you. I'm so sorry."
The poor boy looked miserable with himself. He must have been taking it hard, so I decided to the right thing and let him know he was wrong. I took in a deep breath to calm my nerves, and opened my mouth to speak. "I'm not mute."
They were just three words, but I had finally spoken to someone out of my own free will, and not because I needed to. As I mentally patted myself on my back for passing my first hurdle in high-school, the boy's face had taken a comical turn. His mouth fell open as he gaped at me. He lifted his hand and pointed at me accusingly. "You can speak!"
I wanted to point out that I never had stated any time that I was mute, but all my bravado had abandoned me. I lifted my arm and tried to hide my face again, only to have it stopped by a warm hand clutching my wrist. I looked up to see the boy grinning at me. "You don't have to hide your face you know? I can still see it."
I blinked at him, and my wrist which was in his clutches. I kept blinking until he got the memo and let me go.
And then to my utter dismay, plopped himself back onto the bench angling his body to face me. "Soo are you going to tell me your name any time soon?"
I chose to disregard him, shuffling as close as I could to the wall, trying to ignore the urge to burst into tears because of the anxiety his presence caused me. Perhaps he would figure out I liked to be left alone, and leave me for that short-skirted girl who kept shooting him intense looks?
Don't panic. Don't panic.
Sadly he did not seize the opportunity and contentedly settled into his seat beside me when the teacher arrived.
Sensei was a short, stout lady with a beaming smile, and I immediately knew I wouldn't like her. I preferred cold, strict teachers who had no time for dilly-dallying and went straight to the point. They never really cared about getting to know the students either. Smiling, motherly ones were a whole different issue. Not only did they unnecessarily take it upon themselves to understand their students, but they also took undue interest in me.
My last class-teacher, one of the motherly ones, asked me to have lunch with her every other day, because she felt sorry that I used to eat alone. The lunch hour with her was spent awkwardly, with her trying to make conversation and me silently nodding my head every now and then.
She gave up after a few weeks.
The boy next to me snickered when she entered. "Kimura-sensei is such a joke. Plus she's Japanese History; this year's going to be such a breeze."
I wanted to ask him how he knew so much about her, and why he was laughing at a teacher, but I didn't. More like I couldn't. It was surprising that I could even handle him sitting next to me for so long. Maybe I was getting used to his presence?
Either way, I removed a pen from my pouch and neatly started noting down what she said. It was a curious habit I picked up along the line of growing up in silence. I began writing down whatever I heard, not word-to-word but summarising and paraphrasing. I would sometimes go over whatever I had written in the night; it was like a diary of others' thoughts. I even had the conversation with the boy written down unconsciously.
The boy looked curiously at the page, but shrugged it off. I continued writing.
Rikkaidai has been school to various champions for years. It is an honour for you all to be walking the hallways of Japanese legends. I want each and every one of you to work hard…..
I looked out of the window, my hand and brain still writing, but my heart was elsewhere. I saw the vast expanse of the grounds, tennis courts, football fields; Rikkaidai was beautiful.
As the chirping of the birds and drone of sensei's voice lulled me into a sense of contentment, my hand paused. I jerked upright, and looked at the sheet to make sure I had heard right. There it was written clearly in gel-
Now each of you stand up and introduce yourself one by one.
I don't know if anyone heard it but my mind ripped into two immediately. Panic mode was on, and I started getting dizzy. No way I could stand up and speak in front of thirty odd students. No way, I would die. I can't do anything like that.
My nervousness must have shone, because the boy next to me turned and looked at me quizzically. He tried to smile reassuringly at me, but it made no difference to the situation. Slowly I watched students getting up, and introducing themselves, some brightly, some lazily and some seriously. I watched as the first column finished and then the second, and then finally it came to mine.
Don't panic. Don't panic.
Everything seemed to speed up and the next thing I knew, my neighbour was introducing himself. He sat down, and everyone's gaze moved to me. I could feel their stares, their eyes on me.
My hand started to sweat and I felt like vomiting again. Dazedly I could see my teacher gesturing to me to get up. All I could do was stare and blink, and try not to cry. The boy whispered in my ear, "Get up, it's not that hard."
But I couldn't.
The class was getting impatient and I was getting closer and closer to freaking out and making a dash for the exit.
Suddenly the classroom door opened and a boy stepped in.
He looked like he fell from heaven, with a perfect halo of blue hair around his face and the grace of a dancer. His eyes were sparkling and he had an easy smile on his face. Immediately all the attention was focused on him, and I relished the feeling of being in the shadows again.
I looked at my saviour and it hit me.
Blue hair, angel like; a knight in a shining armour. "Remember Prince Charming will always protect you."
I felt my stomach plummet and my brain go hay-wire. I felt the world spin, and I felt like I was falling.
His eyes caught mine, across the classroom, across the numerous heads of students, across what felt like to me- oceans, and he smiled.
"Prince Charming?"
A/N: There you go! First chapter of 'Wallflower'.
Read and Review?
~Dragonseatingme
