Again I go Unnoticed -- A short PJ fanfiction by Amanda Balser

Yeah, this takes place a few years after the finale. Joey and Pacey are still together, and they're back in Capeside for the summer. You'll see what happens, why they're there, and why Joey's not paying any attention to Pacey there. Warning, very drama and angst filled. Hope you enjoy it. Please remember to reply. ~Amanda

"So quiet/another wasted night,/the television steals the conversation/exhale,/another wasted breath,/again it goes unnoticed./Please tell me you're just feeling tired/cause if it's more than that/I feel that I might break/out of touch, out of time./Please send me anything but signals that are mixed/cause I can't read your rolling eyes/out of touch, are we out of time?/Close lipped/another goodnight kiss/is robbed of all it's passion,/your grip/another time, is slack/it leaves me feeling empty./I'll wait until tomorrow/maybe you'll feel better then/maybe we'll be better then/so what's another day/when I can't bear these nights of thoughts /of going on without you/this mood of yours is temporary/it seems worth the wait/to see your smile again/out of the corner of your eye/won't be the only way you'll look at me then."-- 'Again I go Unnoticed' by Dashboard Confidential.

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She leaned forward over the counter, brushing hair away from her face, smiling so beautifully at nothing at all. Her hand was placed on her chin, and she looked as if she was sleeping with her eyes still open.

Dreaming, and wishing. I hadn't seen her so happy for the longest time.

What I would do to make her happy. She wouldn't let me.. she never would. I would try and try, but she'd just look down, her eyes hooded and mutter something about not wanting to talk about it.

I'd try to cheer her up, but it would never work. "Stop trying." she'd answer with a glare. Or "You're not funny Pace."-- that was a popular one.

But, that was only on a bad day. On a good day, especially when there were other people around, she could be counted to supply a smile. A nice big one, showing all teeth, seemingly saying "I'm okay." The way she supposedly naturally smiled. Just so others wouldn't get suspicious.

Now let me tell you, that smile may be pretty, but it was not natural. Her natural, happy smile I used to see every morning. We would wake up, with nothing but sheets around us, and she would turn to me, with a smile so beautiful and delicate, like an angel, the corners of her mouth tilting upwards, her lips closed. "You make me so happy, Pace." she would whisper softly, nuzzling into my neck, and making me sigh with ecstasy-- the smell of her hair alone could do that to me.

These exact events used to happen exactly like this every single morning-- well. Maybe that's a bit exaggerated, but you understand. She loved me, I know she did. Now I'm not too sure.

But there she is, leaning on the counter, her hair falling in front of her eyes, so all you could see is her beautiful mouth, with a shy secret smile playing on her lips... that very same smile, is the one that tells me she's happy, the one I know to be her real smile.

Now it's happening without me around to make it happen-- of course, I haven't seen that smile in a very long time. I certainly couldn't make her happy anymore.

Well, maybe today was the day. Who said Pacey Witter couldn't try.

I walked over to her with a grin on my face, and plunked myself on a stool across from her.

Her mouth twitched a bit, into more of a frown. Maybe she hadn't noticed me...

but how couldn't she have noticed me--

"Hey Pace." she said, her voice deep and moody.

"Hello, beautiful." I said with a characteristic grin. "How's it going?"

"Pretty good.. a little slow, but good."

She wasn't kidding. The place was completely empty!

She stood up now, brushing off her dark denim jeans, and turning away.

"Aren't you going to ask me if I want anything?" I teased with a smirk.

She turned around, her hands on her hips. "Fine. Can I get you anything Mr. Witter?"

"No thank you." I said with a laugh.

She didn't find that very funny, turning away quickly she picked up a glass, and began to dry it with an apron attached to her petite waist.

"I'm just kidding." I said after a moment of silence. "Please, could I have a glass of orange juice. It would be way too early to get into the good stuff wouldn't it?"

"No kidding." she said with a scowl, grabbing a glass from the counter behind her, and filling it with juice. Plopping it on the table, she turned, with a swish of her hair, back to drying, without a second glance at me.

"Joey." I said my voice cracking. "Why are you so mad at me?"

She turned around slowly, and her brow was furrowed, and her mouth was twisted. She seemed to be lost in thought.

"Because--" she started.

"Hey!" called a voice from behind us. I turned around--it was Dawson.

"Hey you." Joey said, that fake huge smile on her face again. She walked over to Dawson and pulled him into a hug. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Well," Dawson said, his mouth twitching with a hint of a smile. "I thought I'd come back and visit the gang. So how's everyone, how are you Pacey?" he turned to me.

"Fine. Just dandy." I said, unable to hide my sorrows unlike Joey here.

She cast a sideways glance at me. A glance that said more then she did. Leave it alone.

I wish I could, Joey darling.

"Don't mind him." Joey said with a laugh. "He woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

How would you know? I wondered to myself. We don't share a bed anymore.

But ever-relentless Dawson wouldn't give up.

"How's business Pacey? Everything in the resturaunt good? I see that Joey's working here in the summer as a bartender. Why are you guys in Capeside?"

"Well--" I started.

"We're just here for the summer. Pacey's watching over the place for a few months. Checking everything out. Making sure it's all okay. You know him." She interrupted with a coy smile, rolling her eyes.

"Glad to be back for a while?" Dawson asked.

"Oh yeah, you know me. Love the creek." Joey babbled on and on.

Oh yeah? She loved it huh? Then how come ever since we came here two weeks ago, she'd been cold to me?!

"Listen Dawson, I'd really like to chat." I cut in, "But it's almost our busy hour, so time to get back to work."

"Sure, listen. If you guys don't mind it would be great to catch up with you guys tonight. Dinner? Here? Sound okay?"

"Sounds great Dawson." Joey said with a huge grin.

"Great." Dawson smiled. "See you then okay?"

"Bye!" Joey waved to him, with a huge smile. And as soon as he had gotten into his jeep and drove away she turned back to me, with a very, very angry look on her face.

"Ouch Potter." I said sarcastically. "What an attractive look you are giving me right now. It really becomes you."

"Pacey!" she yelled, stomping towards the kitchen. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What?" I asked innocently as I followed her.

"You know what!" she screamed. "Why did you have to act like that around Dawson?! Now he'll warp into best-friend mode and get on our cases, thinking that somethings wrong!"

"Something IS wrong Joey!" I yelled, walking quicker after her.

"There is nothing wrong." she said, turning on the faucet in the sink, and letting hot water soak into the dirty dishes.

"Oh I think there is."

"What IS it then?!" she asked. "I see no problem!"

"The problem is in our relationship, Joey! I don't understand why, but you've been unable to stand me lately, let alone touch me."

"I touch you all the time." she muttered, starting to clean the dishes in the sink.

"No you do not! When is the last time--"

"Oh Pacey!" she interrupted me. "If this is about sex!"

"It's not just about sex Joey! But that is a part of a grownup relationship! When is the last time we slept together?!"

"I dunno like a week ago maybe," she said casually, still doing the dishes.

"More like two or three weeks ago! Before we came to Capeside!"

"Well you know what?!" Joey whirled around. "I'm sorry if this place puts me in a rotten mood. I never wanted to come back here, and yet you made me."

"I didn't make you, you did not have to come."

"Yes I did! You had to come here because your restauraunt was in debt!"

"Yes it was, and can't you see that I had to fix it?!"

"Yeah, but you didn't have to bring me along."

"YOU WANTED TO!!!"

"Well couldn't you have gotten your assistant manager to help you?"

"No, Joey, I needed to do this. You had every choice to not come here."

"I WANTED TO BE WITH YOU!" she yelled, her eyes burning with anger.

There was tense silence.

"I wanted to be near you because you know what? I love you. I love you more then anyone in the world. I love you more then I love everyone else that I love combined. There aren't words to describe how much I love you. Those two years we were apart were two of the most painful, lonely years of my life. I did not want to go through them again." she continued.

"Well, it sure doesn't look like you love me know."

Joey was silent this time.

"What?!" I added, exasperation rich in my voice. "You have nothing to say do you? Nothing! Because you know its true!"

"It is not true Pacey!"

"Then why couldn't you just come back here."

"Because--" tears started to stream down her face. "You know why."

"No I don't know why."

"Because of Bessie."

Suddenly it all became clear.

"Oh Joey." I said reaching out to her.

"Don't touch me!" she screamed, stepping away from the sink, and backing up slowly. "She, and Alexander and Bodie died here only last year Pacey. They were hit by a drunk driver."

"I know, but.."

"No! You don't know! I've been miserable for the past year Pacey, and you, my supposed 'true love' didn't even notice! I tried to cover it up, I did. I tried to be happy for you. But when we came back here, when the memories started rushing back.. I-- I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I couldn't hide my pain from you."

I grabbed her, and held her against my chest, and this time she didn't object. I could hear and feel her sobbing into my chest, and my t-shirt was being soaked with her tears.

"Hey, hey." I whispered. "It's okay."

She sniffled and looked up. "I was so worried Pacey. So worried that when I came back here-- my mom died here and my sister, and my whole family died here. I had no one left. I was so worried that I'd be the next one. That I'd die here too."

"Hey, no." I said tenderly, brushing her hair away from her face. "It's okay. You'll be alright. It'll be fine."

And we stood there for a few more minutes just holding each other, and talking tenderly to one another.

And I knew, after that, that everything would be alright.

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Yeah I know that was kind of abrupt and seemed unfinished or anything, but this was a quick little bit of anger. Just to show, that even though I'm sure Pacey/Joey will live happily ever after, there might be a wee bit of angst. And I'm just showing a bump in their road, cause dramatic moments are fun. lol. So anyways, I hope you enjoyed that. Please reply. ~*Amanda