A/N: As there seemed to be a very enfusiastic responce to can u feel teh love tonight by request of my mate i have decided to do her fav song from chicago. i no your all thinking there isnt enough females in torchwood to do it well just wait and see we have 2 gay males and one well who knows with own i think it counts. We have backing dancers with no names. so please sit back and enjoy.
bold (person speeking)
Stage directions.
singing
talking.
Unknown narrator: Torchwood theature Proudly presents Captian Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper, Ionto Jones, Owen Harper and Tosh Santo and Matha Jones in the cell block tango.
Curtain opens to show the torchwood cells all members standing in a seperate cell. Gwen and tosh in the traditonal Chicago dress, the guys all in skin tight black tops and jeans.
Gwen throwing head back all so sexy: Pop!
Tosh in splits: Six!
Jack crouching: Squish!
Ionto: Uh Uh
Owen has a ciggy: Cicero Smoke puffs
Matha holding one leg up over her head: Lipschitz!
Gwen: Pop!
Tosh: Six!
Jack: Squish!
Ionto: Uh Uh
Owen: Cicero (smoke puffs)
Martha: Lipschitz!
All start to move rubbing against each other (expecially Jack and Ionto).
Gwen: Pop!
Tosh: Six!
Jack: Squish!
Ionto: Uh Uh
Owen: Cicero (smoke puffs)
Martha: Lipschitz!
Gwen: Pop!
Tosh: Six!
Jack: Squish!
Ionto: Uh Uh
Owen: Cicero (smoke puffs)
Martha: Lipschitz!
Gwen: Pop!
Tosh: Six!
Jack: Squish!
Ionto: Uh Uh
Owen: Cicero (smoke puffs)
Martha: Lipschitz!
All: He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
Owen pointing to roof and nearly sticking his finger up gwens nose
I betcha you would have done the same!
Gwen arms around owens neck:Pop!
Tosh:Six!
Jack rubbing his hands over Iontos chest:Squish!
Ionto:Uh Uh
Owen still smoking much to gwens anoyance:Cicero (smoke puffs)
Martha looking a little left out:Lipschitz!
Gwen steps out of cells as it opens with a series of beeps and over to a backing dancer basically using him as a pole to dance around
Gwen:
You know how people
have these little habits
That get you down. Like Rhys.
Rhys liked to chew gum.
No, not chew. POP.
So I came home this one day
And I am really irritated, and I'm
looking for a bit of sympathy
and there's Rhys layin'
on the couch, drinkin' a beer
and chewin'. No, not chewin'.
Poppin'. So, I said to him,
I said, "you pop that
gum one more time..."
and he did.
So I took the shotgun off the wall
and I fired two warning shots...
...into his head.
Torchwood team:
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
Owen once again ppoint to the roof and nearly sticking his finger up jacks nose who promptly threatened to fire him: I betcha you would
Have done the same!
Tosh steps forward wiggles around gwen who is still dancing to get to her own backing dancer
Tosh:
I met Adam Young from
Salt Lake city about two years ago
and he told me he was single
and we hit it off right away.
So, we started living together.
He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd
fix him a drink, We'd have dinner.
And then I found out,
Tosh pushes her guy to the ground and jumps over him in the splits landing just over his groin (at this poitn all the guys flinch)
Tosh continued:
"Single" he told me?
Single, my ass. Not only
was he married
...oh, no, he had six wives.
One of those Mormons, you know. So that
night, when he came home, I fixed him
his drink as usual.
You know, some guys just can't hold
their arsenic.
Gwen , Tosh, Martha and jack gwen and tosh dancing very saucily with the backing dancers and Martha and JAck making out in a cell:
Hah! He had it coming
He had it coming
He took a flower
In its prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder
But not a crime!
Owen and Ionto seemly making out in a cell:
Pop, six, squish, uh-uh
Cicero, Lipschitz
Jack coming out and after rubibng himself over the girls much to there diapleasure goes to his own dancer being watched by a very jelous ionto: Now, I'm standing in the kitchen
carvin' up the chicken for dinner,
minding my own business,
and in storms my husband Wilbur,
in a jealous rage.
"You been screwin' the milkman,"
he says. He was crazy
and he kept screamin',
"you been screwin the milkman."
And then he ran into my knife.
He ran into my knife ten times.."
All: If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!
Ionto ignoreing the sudeen silence and the gobsmaked faces of him team member that he can speek an other language, Dancing a simple waltz wiht his partner: Mit keresek, én itt? Azt mondják,
hogy a híres lakem lefogta a férjemet én meg
lecsaptam a fejét. De nem igaz, én ártatlan
vagyok. Nem tudom miért mondja
Uncle Sam, hogy én tettem. Probáltam
a rendõrségen megmagyarázni de nem értették meg...
Everyone else: Yeah, but did you do it?
Ionto shakes head:UH UH, not guilty!
Gwen, Tosh, Ionto and Jack all do a slow waltz as Owen steps forward to two backing dancers.
Owen doing some major gymnastics
My sister, Veronica and
I had this double act
and my Grilfriend
traveled around with us.
Now, for the last number in
our act, we did 20 acrobatic tricks
does stunts as he names them
one two three four,five...splits, spread eagles,
back flips,flip flops,
one right after the other.
Well, this one night we were in the hotel Cicero,
the three of us,
boozin' and
havin' a few laughs
when we run out of ice.
So I went out to get some.
I come back, open the door
and there's Veronica and
my gal doing number 17
the spread eagle.
Drops o the floor in a half crouch
Well, I was in such a state of shock,
I completely blacked out.I can't remember a thing.
It wasn't until later,
when I was washing the blood off my hands
I even knew they were dead.
all dancing in teh same dominat manner with there partners
Owen: They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming all along
I didn't do it
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
pushes hter partners away and start doing united dancing all do the same moves very forcefully
Owen: They had it coming
Everyone else: They had it coming
Owen: They had it coming
Everone else: They had it coming
Owen: They had it coming
Everone else: They took a flower
Owen: All along
Everone else: In its prime
Owen: I didn't do it
Everone else: And then they used it
Owen: But if I'd done it
Everone else: And they abused it
Owen: How could you tell me
Everone else: It was a murder
Owen: That I was wrong?
Everone else: But not a crime!
All get into a cycle with Martha in the middle (and jack still cant keep his hands to himself)
Martha dacing around a pole : I loved The Doctor
more than I can possibly say.
He was a real artistic guy...
sensitive... a painter.
But
He was always trying
to find himself.
He'd go out every night
looking for himself
and on the way
he found Rose
Sarah
Donna and Mickey.
I guess you can say we broke
up because of artistic differences.
He saw himself as alive
and I saw him dead. (even if he cant die)
ALL
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
all once again get very forcefull strutting around on the stage and stmaping there feet
Gwen, Jack and Tosh: They had it comin'
Owen and Martha, Ionto: They had it comin'
Gwen, Jack and Tosh: They had it comin'
Owen and Martha, Ionto: They had it comin'
Gwen, Jack and Tosh: They had it comin'
Owen and Martha, Ionto: They had it comin'
Gwen, Jack and Tosh: They had it comin'
Owen and Martha, Ionto: All along
'Cause if they used us
'Cause if they used us And they abused us
And they abused us
All now in the process Of forcefull dancing/ making out (ecepecilly jacka nd Ionto who seem to be missing a top): How could you tell us That we were wrong?
That we were wrong?
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had
Himself
To blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha
You would
Have done
The same!
Gwen: sticks up one finger You pop that gum one more time!
Tosh: Single my ass.
Jack holds up 9 fingers: Ten times!
Ionto Holding Jakc in death grip:Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe.
Owen trying to do the splits without hurting his man hood and making his voice go higher: Number seventeen-the spread eagle.
Martha: Artistic differences.
Gwen: Pop!
Tosh: Six!
Jack: Squish!
Ionto: Uh Uh
Owen having enougher ciggy Cicero (smoke puffs)
Martha: Lipschitz!
All strike a sexy pose and hold it as curtain comes down.
Unknown narator: Thank you for watching give it up for Captian Jack
jack come out and bows
Gwen
gwen the reaeats the action staning next to jack and kissing him on the cheek
Owen and Tosh
they come on hand in hand and give a very dramatic bow
Ionto Jones
ionto come out bows very stiffly before beaming and kissing the life out of Jack
and finally for a one time only martha jones
comes out all proper and blows a kiss to the audience
thanks for watching.
all bow.
A/N: R And R now people remember if u havent got anything nice to say DONT SAY IT.
