The Cost of Living This Life
AN: This is my first story in this fandom (and I've never attempted anything this long before, but after reading spoilers, this grabbed me and wouldn't let go). I only really got into the show at the beginning of Season 7, and pretty much watched the entire series (not necessarily in order) this summer. Big fan of Densi.
I had originally planned to start posting this week with the realistic hopes of completing the story by the time of the original October premier date. Of course, the only bad news as far as I'm concerned now that they've moved the date to September is that I probably won't be finished with this by then. Hopefully there will be enough interest for people to keep reading after that.
Spoilers: Up through season 7 and including spoilers for season 8. This is speculation on the storyline that will cover Daniela Ruah's maternity leave.
Disclaimer: Not mine (not even the DVDs, which I borrowed from the library this summer), not making any money from this.
Don't your wild, wild heart weigh you down sometime?
Well my, my, my, ain't it the cost of living this life?
~Rob Thomas: My, My, My
As Kensi Blye woke, she heard the creaking of bent and broken metal rubbing against metal. She smelled acrid smoke and engine fuel. She felt aches beginning to radiate through her body, converging into a burning pain in her right thigh. When she opened her eyes, she looked around at the destruction that surrounded her: broken glass, twisted metal, hanging wires. It took her a few moments to get her bearings. She closed her eyes again and tried to concentrate on what events had led her down this particular rabbit-hole.
Syria. She was in Syria with her team. They had been sent to apprehend a high-value target and had been in a helicopter heading from one base camp to another when all hell broke loose. Kensi remembered hearing the pilot curse as several of the systems started to fail in rapid succession. He'd tried his best to land the chopper, but it was clear to Kensi now that he hadn't been entirely successful. Not that she was complaining; if he's failed completely, she'd likely be dead.
Kensi looked toward the front of the helicopter to the pilot's seat but couldn't see anything. The seatback was blocking her view. Same for the copilot's seat, where Callen had been sitting. Either they weren't there or they were slumped over and out of her line of sight. Sam and a marine who was accompanying them had been in the second row of seats, Corporal Maynard behind the pilot and Sam behind Callen. The marine was now laying against the back of Callen's chair and seemed to be unconscious. Sam was gone, as were the seats they had been sitting on.
In fact, that whole section of the helicopter seemed to have crumpled in on itself, and Kensi appeared to be resting in the accordion-like result, where the back of the helicopter now met the front. She was propped up against what was now the back corner of the cabin, furthest from the sliding side door across from her. Her right leg was basically engulfed in a V of metal, and the sharp pain in her thigh made her suspect something was imbedded in it. Part of …something metal and relatively heavy was laying across her thigh and blocking her view, so she couldn't determine the extent of the damage just yet.
She and Deeks had been sitting on jumper seats in the back of the bird, and as she finished her perusal of the scene, she realized that her partner was also missing. He and Sam had likely disappeared out of the missing door next to which they'd sat. Hopefully on their own steam.
Panic started to rise in her throat as she called out, "Deeks!" When she did not hear him quickly call back with "I'm good," she tried again, louder.
From the front of the chopper, Kensi heard her name. "Callen?" she replied. She looked toward his seat and saw him now, sitting up and rubbing his head. "Are you alright? I don't see Deeks or Sam. Corporal Maynard is right behind you, and he doesn't look too good."
She thought she heard the pilot, Master Sergeant Stone, starting to move around as well, attempting to disengage his harness. Callen still seemed to be trying to orient himself to what had happened as he looked around. "Callen? Talk to me. You good?"
"Yeah, I think so." He turned in his seat to look at her. "You?"
"Same here. Not sure I'll be able to get out from back here on my own, though."
Callen took a few moments to focus on Kensi's situation. She could tell he was trying to assess the damage and find a way to get her out. She was in the corner farthest from him and the exit, but the floor between her and, well, everything, was torn up, rippled, or crushed. There were any number of sharp edges and loose wires in her immediate vicinity that would make getting to her tricky. "I see that. Sit tight, Kens, let me see what I can do."
"Don't worry about me. If you can get out, check on the others. Maynard's still unconscious back here, and where the hell are Deeks and Sam?" Kensi's voice rose at the end, both in volume and urgency. The pain in her leg was getting worse and her worry for her partner was becoming harder to control. Kensi managed to get a hand under the metal piece that had landed on her and felt around her thigh. She hissed in pain when she touched a particular spot, but it wasn't heard over Master Sergeant Stone speaking into the radio, alerting home base that they were down and in need of assistance. Her hand came away bloody.
"It's going to take them at least an hour to get someone out here. Let's see what's what in the meantime." The pilot, now finally free of his restraints, tried several times to push his door open. "Got it!" he shouted as it groaned its final resistance. Callen's door was too damaged to open, but his window had imploded in the crash, and he was able to climb out when the pilot came around to his side to offer a hand.
Callen moved away from the downed helo, calling out, "I see Sam and Deeks!"
Kensi sent up a prayer that they were alright, taking the black and tan keffiyeh from around her neck to apply pressure to her wound. As she did so, she got a sense of the extent of the damage and her stomach sank.
Stone appeared where the main door had been and could easily access Corporal Maynard. As he felt for a pulse, the Master Sergeant looked at Kensi and slowly shook his head. "He's dead."
Kensi closed her eyes for a moment of silence in honor of the fallen Marine. She opened them when the pilot spoke again, "I'm going to help with your other guys. I think it's going to take more than just me to get you out of there. You okay here for a little while longer?"
She really didn't think there was much he could do for her at the moment. "As long as the fumes I smell don't mean this thing's in danger of blowing up."
Taking a whiff of the interior, Stone said, "Let me just take a look around and make sure nothing's sparking. Pretty sure we'd know it by now if anything was actually on fire." He winked at her in an attempt to alleviate her concern. "Be right back."
Kensi nodded her agreement and offered him a tight smile. "Not going anywhere." And yeah, it was definitely going to take more than him to get her out of this mess.
Assured that the crash site was safe for the time being, at least in terms of flammability, Stone left to help Callen. Deeks and Sam couldn't have been too far from the chopper, because Kensi could now hear their voices, though she couldn't make out words. Deeks sounded whiny, which made her feel a little bit better. Sam, on the other hand, sounded angry. It was several long minutes later before she finally heard Deeks' voice clearly call out, "Kensi? You good?"
She let out a sigh of relief. "Much better now. Are you okay?" she yelled back.
"I will be."
Before Kensi had a chance to ask what he meant, she heard Deeks howl in pain. "Deeks!" When he didn't respond, she tried again, "Deeks! Callen! What's wrong? What's happening?"
When Deeks spoke again more than a few tense minutes later, his voice was pained but coming closer; he was moving toward the helo. "Don't worry, Princess. Your knight in shining armor had a dislocated shoulder, but my serfs popped it back into place." He arrived at the side of the chopper and rested his hip against the doorway. His own keffiyeh had been fashioned into a sling for his left arm, which he waved at with his right hand. "Almost as good as new."
When she finally saw him, she smiled widely. He looked like hell: cuts on his face and neck, a torn shirt, and a layer of dust on top of it all. But Kensi didn't think she'd ever been happier to lay eyes on him. "Is that what the howling was all about? I thought maybe they gave you a needle," she teased, the relief palpable.
"This from the woman who stayed in the helicopter the whole way down."
"Yeah well," she coughed, the fumes from the fuel that must be leaking nearby irritating her throat. She winced as another stab of pain from the slight motion jolted her. "I didn't really have much of a choice."
Deeks' mood shifted immediately when he saw her discomfort. "Kens? What is it? You really okay? Callen said you were kind of trapped in here, and that you'd just need a little help to get out."
"Yeah, no. I think I'm more than kind of trapped, Deeks."
"What are you talking about?"
"I think my leg is caught on something."
"What the hell, Kens? What do you mean 'caught on something?' Way to bury the lead," he said as he started to haul himself into the chopper.
"Deeks, please be careful. We don't need you any more injured than you already are."
"Like I'm going to leave my Fern in here when she's hurt."
A thought suddenly occurred to her. "Speaking of, how is Sam? I thought I heard his voice earlier."
"Sam looks like he has a broken ankle. And probably a concussion, so you can imagine the mood he's in right now. I'd much rather be here, walking over this minefield, so to speak, to you. We were both thrown from the cabin just before the crash. I'm pretty sure Sam landed on the ground first and I landed at least partially on him; probably the only reason I didn't get concussed too." After a few missteps, he was close enough to reach the debris that was on her. "Is it this?"
"No, I'm pretty sure that's just resting on me."
"Okay, then, I'm going to try to move it. Can you help? I'm a little short-handed here." He grinned and Kensi rolled her eyes as she nodded and got a grip on it with her left hand, her right still underneath applying pressure to her leg. "You ready?"
He counted, and on three they lifted it flipped it to her right, where Deeks was able to lean it against the back wall.
Deeks looked down at Kensi's leg and saw her bloody hand holding the compress to her thigh. He glanced at her quickly and ran his hand from his mouth to his chin before squatting beside her and softly speaking. "Let me see."
They both grimaced as she removed the keffiyeh. "Son of a bitch," Deeks swore. What they saw sobered them even more. Sticking up through the right side of Kensi's thigh was a narrow rod of some sort. The top was jagged, but the rest of the piece of metal was smooth, from what they could see. About two inches peeked through the top of Kensi's pant leg. The good news was there did not appear to be too much blood seeping from the wound.
Deeks rubbed his hand on the back of his neck for several moments as he tried to assess the damage. "So, uh, how far in do you think this goes?"
Meeting his eyes, Kensi explained, "I don't think this is where it goes in, Deeks. I think this is where it came out. I have a lot of pain on the other side of my thigh as well."
He sighed, "Yeah, I was afraid you'd say that." He let out another long breath and took her left hand with his right. "Listen, baby, we've got to figure out somehow if this thing has you pinned to the floor or if we can just pick you up and carry out of here. Either way, it's probably going to hurt like hell."
"Yeah. I was afraid you'd say that," Kensi repeated with a sad smile.
Deeks pressed a brief but solid kiss to her lips before whispering, "You'll be okay." Then he turned toward the open side of the helo and shouted "Hey guys? We need some help in here." A few minutes later, Callen and Stone approached, supporting a hobbling Sam between them.
Sam greeted Kensi, "I was beginning to wonder why you hadn't come to visit me yet. I didn't believe it when G said you were just sitting around over here." He winked at her.
Deeks gave away his anxiety by being the serious one. "Kensi's got this thing through her leg, but we don't know if it's still connected to the chopper or not. We need to figure out a way to get her out of here."
Stone replied, "I might be able to tell if I recognize the part. But first things first, we need to move Corporal Maynard."
Sam hopped over to the side of the doorway so Callen and Stone could remove the corpse of the Marine. Everyone remained silent while they quickly but respectfully worked to move his body to a nearby patch of ground. Returning to the chopper, Stone climbed in. Taking in the heavy odor of the fumes, he suggested that Deeks work with Callen to try to find the first aid kit in the debris field. They would probably have to limit their time in this corner of the cabin if at all possible, since it was closest to where the fumes originated. "It was under the center row of seats, so search a radius as far as you guys landed."
He looked closely at Kensi's leg, and then studied her face. "How are you feeling, Agent Blye?"
"I'd feel much better if I could get that thing out of my leg and get out of here."
Stone looked carefully around the area, clearly trying to determine where the piece of metal could have originated. "Unfortunately, I don't think that's going to happen any time soon." He pointed to the rod sticking out of her leg. "This here looks like the internal support rod from the landing gear. It probably pierced through the skin of the chopper and the flooring when we crashed. Can you hang on a sec? I want to check outside."
"Sure."
Kensi watched the pilot leave and disappear around the back of the helicopter. Through the wall behind her she heard him moving some debris around before he called out, "I'm going to tap on what I think may be the other end of that rod. Let me know if you feel anything." He paused for a moment before continuing, "I'm sorry, but this might hurt some."
"Don't worry Master Sergeant; do what you have to do." Moments later Kensi heard the sound of metal striking metal and almost immediately felt the quick jerk radiate pain through her leg. She hissed in response before calling out, "Yup. That's it."
Less than a minute later, Stone returned to the cabin. "Bad news. The wheel is gone and the other end of that support rod is pretty well imbedded in the ground. Good news is that the rescue team has plenty of experience with impalement wounds and extractions." Studying her face again, he asked, "How's the rest of you feeling?"
"I have a killer headache; these fumes are brutal."
"Yeah, you're right next to the leaking fuel tank." He nodded his head toward the back wall, on the other side of which was the fuel tank. "The fumes are rising into the cabin through the broken floor all around you. Hopefully in the search for the first aid kit, your team will come across the emergency oxygen canister. In the meantime," Stone removed his keffiyeh and gave it to Kensi, "Breathe through this. It's not great, but it'll help some."
She nodded her thanks as she took the fabric and covered her mouth and nose. "How long until someone gets here?"
Stone checked his watch. "Forty-five minutes at the best."
Understanding what would happen then, Kensi frowned beneath her mask. "And then the fun really starts."
About ten minutes later, Stone was outside watching Callen and Deeks quickly approach while Sam sat just inside the door and kept Kensi company. As he was leaving the chopper earlier, he noticed a rivulet of blood running from Blye through one of the channels created by the accordion-like floor. The team was not going to be happy when he filled them in.
"The first aid kit was ripped open, but mostly intact," reported Deeks as he put it on the floor next to Sam.
"And I see you found the oxygen. Good, she needs that now, the fumes are getting pretty bad." Stone briefly explained what he had discovered while they were gone.
"Unfortunately, the knob must have dislodged some when it hit the ground. The tank is less than half full according to the gage," said Callen
Wasting no more time, Deeks grabbed the hand-held cylinder from Callen and jumped into the helicopter, making his way to Kensi quickly. "How you doing there, Princess? Your Prince Charming is here with the elixir of life." He kissed her on the top of her head as he positioned the facemask and the attached oxygen tank so that Kensi could hold them easily. Turning the knob to start the flow of gas, Deeks commented, "Let's put this on the lowest setting possible that will let you breathe comfortably, yeah? Make it last as long as we can."
Turning, Deeks asked Sam to pass the first aid kit to him.
"How's she doing?" Sam asked as he complied with the request.
Deeks replied with false enthusiasm. "Are you kidding me? This is Bad Ass Blye here! It takes more than a chopper crash in the Middle East to keep her down." He cocked his head as it occurred to him. "Well, I guess that's not entirely true, is it, Kensalina? This is pretty much exactly what it takes: being impaled to the floor of a crashed helo. Well, now that we know what will keep Kick Ass Kensi down, let's be sure never to do it again, okay?" Deeks was babbling and he knew it. He didn't care.
As he dug through the bag of first aid supplies, Deeks realized he'd reached the end of his usefulness with one arm. "Callen, Stone? You guys want to come try to pack her wounds?"
Deeks moved to Kensi's far side and took her hand while the other men got to work. The top of her thigh, being easy to access, was dressed first. The act was hardly pain-free, but it was nothing compared to the agony Kensi felt as Callen wiggled his arm in the channel beneath her leg and placed wads of gauze around the bar where it penetrated the underside of her leg.
Once they were finished, Deeks wanted to stay with Kensi, who was sweating and breathing hard from the stress of the pain and another coughing fit. She took off the oxygen mask to convince him to leave for a little while. "Go, baby, please. I can tell the fumes are giving you a headache. I'm going to focus on some yoga breathing to distract me from the pain, maybe stretch the oxygen out even more."
"Alright, but you call if you need anything." He kissed her cheek this time before reluctantly leaving.
Joining Callen, Sam, and Stone outside and near the nose of the chopper, Deeks let his frustration show. "So there's nothing we can for Kensi do but wait for help to get here?"
"You've staunched the blood flow, and she has oxygen, so she's not being affected by the fumes anymore. That's the best we can do for now, Deeks." Sam put a reassuring hand on his arm. "She'll be okay."
He ran his fingers through his hair and scratched his head. Lowering his voice to a harsh whisper so as not to upset Kensi, he said, "Yeah, assuming she doesn't bleed out when they lift her off that rod. Because they can't cut her out of there and risk sparking an explosion with all those fumes. And that also assumes she doesn't die or suffer brain damage from those fumes if they don't get here before she runs out of oxygen!" He wanted to punch something, and only managed to refrain from doing so because he was already down the use of his left arm for the time being.
Callen tried to calm Deeks down next. "Hey, you said it yourself, it'll take a lot more than this to bring Kensi down. She tough and she's strong. She didn't survive Afghanistan just to die in Syria."
They spent the next forty minutes taking turns keeping Kensi company inside the cabin for five- to ten-minute shifts before the fumes made each one leave. As it turned out, she did run out of oxygen before help arrived. The headache returned shortly thereafter, and when Kensi began coughing more regularly, it also served to increase the pain in her leg when her body jerked.
When the rescue team finally came, they worked swiftly. More oxygen was provided, an IV was inserted, her leg was assessed, and a pain killer and muscle relaxer were administered prior to extraction. Deeks knew that Kensi was more than ready to be free of her prison, but recognized the look of fear on her now pale face, likely of the pain that was about to come. While he wanted them to lift her as quickly as possible, these men had seen their share of impaled limbs and knew there was a possibility that the rod may not still be straight. As such, they needed to move her slowly enough to follow the path of the rod should it be bent at all, but quickly enough to avoid excessive blood loss. It would be a delicate balancing act.
The rescue team wouldn't let Deeks stay with Kensi while they worked on her; there was simply not enough room, and they needed to concentrate on their patient, not her upset partner. He paced just outside the helo, listening as the medics spoke calmly and with authority, telling Kensi what to expect every step of the way. When they finally announced that they were about to lift her, they offered her a strap to bite down on, which she accepted. Despite the barrier, Deeks could hear Kensi's high-pitched moans of pain over the voices of the medics directing each other's movements. He wasn't sure if he felt relief or not when she finally passed out from the agony of it.
AN: I don't know anything about military ranks, especially as they relate to specific occupations (if they do), and the internet was of very little help. Please forgive my errors; I mean no disrespect.
