INSERT TITLE HERE
By Seven ½
Chapter 1
Starring:
Everyone in the cast of Final Fantasy 6 because I am far too
lazy to list them all. Also omg i hate my mom becuz she wants
meh to clean meh room!!`1also i sound liek trailor trash cuz
its kyoooot also sephiroth is HOTT!!~! ^_^
(Author's note: This not not a parody, it is OBVIOUSLY real, so please flood my email with dozens of OMG u SUKK hotmail messages!)
It was a hot and sandy day in Figaro, and this was also a very cliched beginning because I can't come up with anything else. So, where was I? Oh, yes. Figaro Castle. Edgar was in the throne room, admiring himself in a small mirror, stroking his silky and shiny and very blonde hair and giggling to himself like a schoolgirl because how handsome he was. Recently he had sent invitations to all of the Returners for a reunion, since it was almost a year after that clown person was defeated. What was his name? Oh, yes, Kefka. Anyway, he was dead and I have no idea what happened afterward because I couldn't get past that stupid boss with like the three parts in it and I used my really weak party and I died.
Anyway, everyone got an invitation, even Shadow, who was dead. The messenger bird just landed on his grave and pooped. The white gunk just slid around and then dried up like some sort of drying thing. The bird that was headed towards Triangle Island was snatched in mid-air by the Zone Eater.
Meanwhile, in the Colloseum, Ultros was angsting. The great purple cephalopod pulled up his many tentacles and huddled in the corner, sobbing softly, which if you heard an octopus sob, it'd sound kind of like a dying porcupine that was also having an orgasm. But anyway, his second tentacle groped around for a pocket knife. The fifth reached out for a bottle of pills. He thought, "CRAP!" because the bottle was empty. Chupon had already eaten all the pills; miraciously, the bloated pink monster had survived. He thought, "CURSE HIM FOR RUINING MY RELEASE FROM THIS HORRIBLE HORRIBLE LIFE, THIS DREADFUL PUPPET ON STRINGS AND DARK NIGHTS OF ROSES AND FLOWERS AND FAGGY PRANCING VAMPIRES!!"
Then a man wearing armor skipped in. He said in a high- pitched and very effeminate voice, "Did you say 'dark knight'? I'm Cecil Harvey, flamingly gay Lunarian, at your service!" Ultros ate him. It still did not quell his intense and edgy angst, which was also very, very edgy. Just like Edge the ninja, but edgier and with less bad breath .
After that, he sobbed into a silk handkerchief and begin making slits across his nonexistant wrists, pus and blood spilling out like buckets full of ice that clattered onto the street like some sort of clattering thing, and then the ice hit Old Man Wilbert's head and crap now I'm in trouble better stop writing BRB
Okay, I'm back. R & R PLZZ IF I DONT GET 600 REVIEWS I WILL KILL MYSELF. YOU'LL ALL BE SORRY I SWEAR AND NO MOM I WILL NOT CLEAN MY ROOM XDXXDD ^.~
Back at the castle, Edgar was reading a fine piece of literature which involved buxom women baring their bloated, ZZZ cup breasts with nipples the size of tuna fish. He was surprised when he saw none other than Locke Cole, the treasure-hunter of panties, standing in the hallway. The light filtered in and his puny, skinny figure was cast in shadow, which made things look really cool and dramatic and stuff. Edgar suddenly felt his peepee pushing up against his trousers. At the same time, a million ditzy and brainless fangirls all fainted at the same time before rushing off to make livejournal icons of Edgar and Locke making out on their illegal copy of Paint Shop Pro 7, while adding in sluggish animations, fancy borders, unneeded lines, and obnoxious blinking crap that could send a small ape into epileptic seizures.
Too bad for the fangirls, since they didn't make out. All Locke did was steal Edgar's penis and shove it into his pocket. When I typed the word 'pocket', I always put in 'penis' instead, but everyone knows how silly it is to put a penis in a penis. After all, where would the other one go?
Meanwhile, in the Colloseum, Chupon was attempting to comfort Ultros.
"Fungaaaah, fungah fun-gaaaaah, gaaah fungah, fungah fungaaah," pleaded Chupon, his horrendous and creepy eyes welling with smelly tears that threatened to crawl out like some sort of crawling thing, and slide down his greasy, rubbery pink hide. His other head was also crying, but more loudly, and it made some freakish gibbering howl.
"No, my hideous friend," said the octopus royalty gravely. "It is my time to die, and nothing will be able to stop it because I'm all philosophical and shit. That's just how it works, so if you excuse me, I'm gonna go talk to Mr. Knife." Chupon sniffled, mucus dripping out of his flaring nostrils, and a small particle of dust crept into the open holes, which caused him to sneeze. Ultros was blown away, and he crashed through the walls, leaving a few holes and a dead puppy.
"Jesus, Guy, would you stop shedding all over the place?" complained Maria to the two others, who were conveniently in the Colloseum for some reason, even though they were in a completely different game. Firion just stood there and wanked, seeing as how he's the prototype of Tidus. At that time, Emperor Paramecia skipped in, singing about how wonderful flowers smelled. Ultros went crashing through the walls and smashed the poor horned imperal person-type thing, which caused a small black box with a white border to pop up and say, "Ultros - Paramecia", and another that said, "203 damage".
"Damnit, isn't it enough that I was killed two times?!" the emperor wanked. Firion nodded his head to this, then continued making gurgling noises and sticking his hand into the electric sockets in the walls. There was rubble all over the room, and Ultros was sitting on top of Paramecia. Biggs and Wedge were crushed under the rubble, and they were dead because they always die in every game they're on llloolololol itz soooo funy ^___^_^_^_^_^_^_ XDX DDX XDXD
END OF CHAPTER ONE PLZ REVIEW OR ELSE I WILL DIE KTHX NO FLAMES PLZ LOL XD XD
By Seven ½
Chapter 1
Starring:
Everyone in the cast of Final Fantasy 6 because I am far too
lazy to list them all. Also omg i hate my mom becuz she wants
meh to clean meh room!!`1also i sound liek trailor trash cuz
its kyoooot also sephiroth is HOTT!!~! ^_^
(Author's note: This not not a parody, it is OBVIOUSLY real, so please flood my email with dozens of OMG u SUKK hotmail messages!)
It was a hot and sandy day in Figaro, and this was also a very cliched beginning because I can't come up with anything else. So, where was I? Oh, yes. Figaro Castle. Edgar was in the throne room, admiring himself in a small mirror, stroking his silky and shiny and very blonde hair and giggling to himself like a schoolgirl because how handsome he was. Recently he had sent invitations to all of the Returners for a reunion, since it was almost a year after that clown person was defeated. What was his name? Oh, yes, Kefka. Anyway, he was dead and I have no idea what happened afterward because I couldn't get past that stupid boss with like the three parts in it and I used my really weak party and I died.
Anyway, everyone got an invitation, even Shadow, who was dead. The messenger bird just landed on his grave and pooped. The white gunk just slid around and then dried up like some sort of drying thing. The bird that was headed towards Triangle Island was snatched in mid-air by the Zone Eater.
Meanwhile, in the Colloseum, Ultros was angsting. The great purple cephalopod pulled up his many tentacles and huddled in the corner, sobbing softly, which if you heard an octopus sob, it'd sound kind of like a dying porcupine that was also having an orgasm. But anyway, his second tentacle groped around for a pocket knife. The fifth reached out for a bottle of pills. He thought, "CRAP!" because the bottle was empty. Chupon had already eaten all the pills; miraciously, the bloated pink monster had survived. He thought, "CURSE HIM FOR RUINING MY RELEASE FROM THIS HORRIBLE HORRIBLE LIFE, THIS DREADFUL PUPPET ON STRINGS AND DARK NIGHTS OF ROSES AND FLOWERS AND FAGGY PRANCING VAMPIRES!!"
Then a man wearing armor skipped in. He said in a high- pitched and very effeminate voice, "Did you say 'dark knight'? I'm Cecil Harvey, flamingly gay Lunarian, at your service!" Ultros ate him. It still did not quell his intense and edgy angst, which was also very, very edgy. Just like Edge the ninja, but edgier and with less bad breath .
After that, he sobbed into a silk handkerchief and begin making slits across his nonexistant wrists, pus and blood spilling out like buckets full of ice that clattered onto the street like some sort of clattering thing, and then the ice hit Old Man Wilbert's head and crap now I'm in trouble better stop writing BRB
Okay, I'm back. R & R PLZZ IF I DONT GET 600 REVIEWS I WILL KILL MYSELF. YOU'LL ALL BE SORRY I SWEAR AND NO MOM I WILL NOT CLEAN MY ROOM XDXXDD ^.~
Back at the castle, Edgar was reading a fine piece of literature which involved buxom women baring their bloated, ZZZ cup breasts with nipples the size of tuna fish. He was surprised when he saw none other than Locke Cole, the treasure-hunter of panties, standing in the hallway. The light filtered in and his puny, skinny figure was cast in shadow, which made things look really cool and dramatic and stuff. Edgar suddenly felt his peepee pushing up against his trousers. At the same time, a million ditzy and brainless fangirls all fainted at the same time before rushing off to make livejournal icons of Edgar and Locke making out on their illegal copy of Paint Shop Pro 7, while adding in sluggish animations, fancy borders, unneeded lines, and obnoxious blinking crap that could send a small ape into epileptic seizures.
Too bad for the fangirls, since they didn't make out. All Locke did was steal Edgar's penis and shove it into his pocket. When I typed the word 'pocket', I always put in 'penis' instead, but everyone knows how silly it is to put a penis in a penis. After all, where would the other one go?
Meanwhile, in the Colloseum, Chupon was attempting to comfort Ultros.
"Fungaaaah, fungah fun-gaaaaah, gaaah fungah, fungah fungaaah," pleaded Chupon, his horrendous and creepy eyes welling with smelly tears that threatened to crawl out like some sort of crawling thing, and slide down his greasy, rubbery pink hide. His other head was also crying, but more loudly, and it made some freakish gibbering howl.
"No, my hideous friend," said the octopus royalty gravely. "It is my time to die, and nothing will be able to stop it because I'm all philosophical and shit. That's just how it works, so if you excuse me, I'm gonna go talk to Mr. Knife." Chupon sniffled, mucus dripping out of his flaring nostrils, and a small particle of dust crept into the open holes, which caused him to sneeze. Ultros was blown away, and he crashed through the walls, leaving a few holes and a dead puppy.
"Jesus, Guy, would you stop shedding all over the place?" complained Maria to the two others, who were conveniently in the Colloseum for some reason, even though they were in a completely different game. Firion just stood there and wanked, seeing as how he's the prototype of Tidus. At that time, Emperor Paramecia skipped in, singing about how wonderful flowers smelled. Ultros went crashing through the walls and smashed the poor horned imperal person-type thing, which caused a small black box with a white border to pop up and say, "Ultros - Paramecia", and another that said, "203 damage".
"Damnit, isn't it enough that I was killed two times?!" the emperor wanked. Firion nodded his head to this, then continued making gurgling noises and sticking his hand into the electric sockets in the walls. There was rubble all over the room, and Ultros was sitting on top of Paramecia. Biggs and Wedge were crushed under the rubble, and they were dead because they always die in every game they're on llloolololol itz soooo funy ^___^_^_^_^_^_^_ XDX DDX XDXD
END OF CHAPTER ONE PLZ REVIEW OR ELSE I WILL DIE KTHX NO FLAMES PLZ LOL XD XD
