Author: Hi. Um, this story takes place right before the Phoenix Force takes over Jean Grey. It's in her POV. I don't own anything.

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There's an odd warmth in the back of my head, like an extra presence, a burst of energy, waiting to be released. It's a weird feeling. Numbing, like burning your hand and then sticking it under cold water.

I hate it.

I love it.

I can't live without it.

It protects me.

It hurts me.

It helps me.

It makes me feel like I could do anything with it... but nothing without it.

I wish it would go.

I hope it never leaves me.

I just can't make up my mind. I can't focus as clearly as I used to. The people closest to me are starting to notice these small changes in my behavior. Scott, Professor X, Ororo, and even Logan have all mentioned it to me. I don't want to worry them, so I tell them that I'm okay; that there's nothing wrong with me.

But something is.

It's becoming harder and harder to keep everyone's thoughts out of my head. Every time I get the least bit upset, everything in the room shakes. I tell myself that my powers are just growing and that it'll all be back to normal soon; just a couple of days and I'll feel like myself again.

It's been seven weeks.

I've all but forgotten what it's like to feel normal. There's just this small voice in my head, telling me that it wasn't always like this, that I used to be different. But every time that voice speaks up, another one, much stronger and brighter than the last, yells that all is as it should be. Part of me really wants to believe that one, but most of me knows that it's wrong.

It reminds me of fire, really. I don't know why. That's just how I would explain it. It feels like fire.

I hate it.

I love it.

It's all I can think of lately.

It's consuming me.