"Even a Rose Has Its Thorns"

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Prolouge

"Simply Someone"

By: AnubisFearie

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"Ranma, you jerk!" Akane screamed angerly, flailing a frying pan violently at her fleeing fiance`. Sure, the pan didn't handle as well as her trademark mallet, but it would do. The pig-tailed boy cut his escaping tome in one fourth by sliding down the banister and dashing into the living room, knocking over Soun and Genma's shogi board as he did so.

"Hey, boy!" Genma growled, seizing his son by the leg and gesturing toward the spilled gaming objects. "Look what you did!" Ranma tripped due to his father's grab and landed on the floor with a thud. Akane yelled something he couldn't make out as she flew towards him.

'Oh man, oh man, oh man...' Ranma thought frantically as he stared at his angry tomboy-of-a-fiancee`. "Come on Akane! It's not my fault!" he said, obviously switching tactics from "Plan A: Run for your life, you idiot" and "Plan B: She's going to get you, so grovel like a dog and hope for a tornado".

"Ranma you idiot!" Akane screeched, bringing her lethal kitchen utensil for a quick visit to Ranma's rib cage. The boy waved his hand defensivly, only to be knocked unconcious by a fly-by pan to the head and sent sailing out the door and through the air.

'What did I ever do to deserve this.....?' Ranma thought subconciously, suddenly remembering what brought on this frying pan massacre...

Flashback, 5 minutes ago...

"Ranma!" Akane called in a near sing-song voice from the kitchen. A greenish smoke sifted out the window, followed by other toxic gasses. Ranma bounded in and perched him self on the countertop like a cat.

"You beckoned, your highess?" the boy replied jokingly. Akane tossed her apron at him in agitation. Ranma sniffed the air and gagged. "Chemistry project?" he questioned.

Akane whacked him with her wooden spoon. "No, you stupid jerk!" she snapped, whipping a plate from behind her. "Now, I'm going to prove you wrong!" She handed the plate of... stuff... to her fiance`.

Ranma stared questioningly at the green blob of goo with a charred black coating of... something. There were red speckles along its sides. "Wrong about what?" he asked, watching the object wiggle, "That aliens don't land on earth?"

Akane yanked Ranma's pigtail and scooped up a big spoonful of the glop. "Listen, you smart ass!" she growled, "I went through all that trouble to make you this damn cake and you're going to eat it!" She shoved the contents of the spoon in her victim's mouth.

Ranma's eyes became watery and his tounge burned. He held his throat as if he were choking and began to cough and gag. His face turned slightly greenish and then the whole world went blank...

When he came to, Kasumi was standing over him, fanning his face gently with a magazine. She smiled happily as the boy slowly sat up and rubbed his head. "Oh, I'm so glad you're alright, Ranma-Sama!" she chirped.

Suddenly, Ranma found his face being attacked by a brain hugging alien... or Akane's cake to be exact. He wiped it off with his sleeve and looked up to see a peeved tomboy and her trusty frying pan. "You are such a JERK!" she screeched.

"A...a...akane!?" Ranma stammered, woozily standing on his feet. "What are you so worked up about?" He began to sweat as the girl advanced toward him.

"WHAT AM I SO UPSET ABOUT?!" his angry fiancee` mimicked loudly, pulling the pan above her head. "I worked hard on that cake and you didn't even appriciate it! Instead, you pass out, you asshole!" She brought the pan down upon were Ranma had stood, only to find that he was already dashing up the stairs.

"Look! It ain't my fault!" he pleaded with his persuer, "How am I supposed to NOT pass out?" He noticed Akane screech angerly at this. "I mean, uh... it ain't my fault! WHA! Careful, you could have hit me with that! GAA! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!!!!"

End Flashback, present time...

Ranma sighed as he pulled himself... or rather HERself... out of the park's fountain. He stared down at his new bosom in aggitation and then glared up at the sky. "Oh sure, have some fun with the FREAK, why don't you?!" she growled to the gods above, sure that somebody up there was laughing at her expense. She sighed slowly and then threw a punch at a nearby tree and watching it fall. 'Damn this... as if things could ever get worse.' she thought. Too bad she had to go and think that!

"Ranma!" Shampoo called, leaping off her bike and to Ranma's side, intwining her body with her arm. "Shampoo so happy see Ranma! Now Ranma go on date with Shampoo, yes?" she purred as she rubbed against the boy-turned- girl's shoulder.

"Shampoo, get lost!" Ranma yelled, attempting to wiggle free of the purple-haired bath product's grasp. "I ain't going to date you! I told you I'm not interested, so leave me alone!" Shampoo, as usual, ignored this.

Suddenly, a fly-by spatula knocked Shampoo from her prize and sent her to the ground with a gasp. Ukyo ran up to Ranma and stood in front of Shampoo. "You leave my Ran-Chan alone, you ditz!" she demanded.

'Good old Ukyo...' Ranma thought as she watched the two girls argue. 'Too bad she ain't a guy, that way she wouldn't bug me like this.' She watched as the two threw back and forth some "Ranma is mine!"s and "He belongs to me!"s.

Onna-Ranma whistled for their attention. "Hey!" she snapped. "I don't belong to either of you! Why can't you get that threw your damn heads? Just leave me alone!" She attempted to leave but Shampoo latched on one of her arms and Ukyo on the other.

"Where is going, Ranma?" Shampoo cooed, "Shampoo love you! You is all mine, not Spatula Girl's!" Ukyo growled and rubbed on Ranma in a similiar way.

"Ranma Honey, don't you listen to that bimbo!" she crooned, laying unneeded emphasis on that last word. "You were my fiance` long before she came along. Besides, I'm your TRUE love! You're mine, right?" Shampoo hissed angerly and the two resumed their fight once more.

Sitting in in a nearby tree, a girl in a black leotard watched with interest. At first, she had been all ready to leap into the fray with some black rose petals and declare Ranma her's, but something stopped her. Maybe it was the way Ranma begged them to leave her alone. She sighed and twirled her red ribbon around her pointer finger. She had always pretended that she didn't know about the boy's curse, and she wondered why. Maybe there was a better way to show Ranma she cared about him...

Later that night, Onna-Ranma plodded down the dark streets of Nerima, thoughts of today's horrors still fresh in mind. 'Man, it was bad enough with Ukyo and Shampoo...' she thought, 'but then Kuno, Ryoga, and Mousse showing up trying to kill me... except for Kuno who just wanted to squeeze these damn breasts! They ain't mine, damnit! I ain't a girl!' For no reason but to appease herself, the red-head ran the rest of the way home.

Walking onto the Tendos' porch, she sighed and shook back her hair. Akane was probably still mad... Mr. Tendo and his father would most likely try to beat him up for disappearing for so long... Nabiki would throw some blackmail in his face... and then, worse yet, Kasumi would smile that sad forced smile that he had seen so many times in the past. Could life get any worse?

Ranma looked down at her feet, only to see an envelope tied with a lovely red ribbon lying on the ground. She plucked it up and turned it over a couple times. No return address, just the word 'Ranma' written on the back in lovely calligraphy. He hesitantly undid the bow and unfolded the neatly written letter inside...

Dear Ranma,

Meet me at the park by the fountain at noon tommorow. Please be there, it's very important. I look forward to seeing you there!

With fond wishes,

Simply Someone

The note was decorated with a few glitter hearts and some colorful drawings of roses. She sighed as she stuffed the letter in her pants' pocket and walked in, hesitantly calling, "I'm home!" Immediatly followed by angry sounding footsteps.

'Well, here they come...' Ranma thought, fingering her pocket gently.

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Author's Notes: Okay, the prolouge is doooone! Happy happy! I know this sounds very odd but I urge you to PLEASE keep on reading. Chapter One is a- coming! Oh, and I love to get reviews, but please don't do so until you at least read chapter one teehee! ^_^

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