*
Diclaimer: (Sing to "Mary Had A Little Lamb").If I did own RuroKen,
RuroKen, RuroKen-!
If I did own RuroKen,
Tomoe would've lived! :)**However, I do own Paul & Narrarator, though I am not satisfied at all with that. 0_o'*
"Holiday Jollies":
Kenshin: Ohayo, Kaoru-dono.
Kaoru: Good morning, Kenshin!
Yahiko: Hey, Busu-
WHACK!
Yahiko: ITAI! What was that for, Bu-"
Kaoru: Yahiko! Pay more respect to you Assistant Master!
Whack!
Kenshin: Settle down now, settle down-
~*~
Today seemed like it was going to be a pretty normal day. Yahiko and Kaoru almost always fought in the mornings. Kenshin was trying to break them up, as usual. Hopefully no crazy gangs, psychopaths, robbers, or old fighters from the Bakumatsu would show up. And they didn't. Because what showed was completely
different from that!
~*~
"Hello??" rang a voice.
"Oro?"
Kaoru promptly let go of Yahiko's shirt collar and let him slide to the floor swirly-eyed at her feet.
"Can I help you? I run this dojo." she said as a grumpy looking man marched over.
He waved his hand at her, motioning for her to stop talking.
"This has nothing to do with your dojo. Due to a strange brainstorm from God, I have traveled back in time to find you, as you are supposedly the perfect ones to replace the Holiday-Persons." the man stared up at the sky and pointed.
(The fanfic writer grins evily and giggles down at them)
"Oro?" Kenshin said again.
"No!" the grumpy man cried. "It's 'Hohoho!', not 'Oro!"
Kaoru looked confused. "Why are you imitating Miss Megumi?"
The grumpy man looked angry. "Quit chattering and listen up. I have frozen time, and now each of you must fill your roles as Holiday-Persons."
Yahiko scoffed. "No one can freeze time, old man-"
WHACK!
"Oi, Busu! Stoppit!"
WHACK! "Pay more respect to your elders!" WHACK!
"Settle down now, settle down please," Kenshin cried.
The grumpy man sighed and whipped out a strange cloth and waved it in the air in front of them, covering his own nose. All three of them collapsed to the floor unconcious.
"Daisies are soft de gozaru." Kenshin lolled.
"Why do bunnies hop?" Yahiko said.
"Why is Kenshin prettier than me?" asked Kaoru.
The man sighed and bonked them on the heads, causing them to stop their weird ramblings.
(Aw, too bad)
He then snapped his fingers, and all four of them disappeared.
~*~ (A few hours later) ~*~
Sanosuke strolled into the dojo.
"Oi! Where is everybody?" he cried, kicking a stone.
"They've taken a little trip. And I think you do, too." said a sly voice.
Sanosuke jumped and turned around, ready to fight. "Who the hell are you?" he asked.
There was a short grumpy looking man in front of him, balding too. Sanosuke twitched.
The grumpy man grinned, exposing ugly yellow and brown teeth.
"Oh, they're going to like this. Haven't had a tall guy in a while."
"What the-" Sanosuke started, but was cut off as the short guy jumped up and swabbed his nose with a strange cloth.
"Stars look like jewels which hang from the black curtain of mystery, forever shrouding the glory of other worlds-" he snored. The grumpy short fat man whose name was Paul looked at the cloth and studied it.
"Oops," he muttered. He had accidentally swabbed Smart-Poets-Pickle-Juice onto Sanosuke's nose. He whipped out another one and swung it around Sanosuke's face, then conked him on the head.
"Me no likee Meiji weijiess..." he droned. Paul scrunched up his face in annoyance and came closer to him and poked him.
"Dirty piggies." Sanosuke snored, meaning the Meiji Government. Unfortunately, Paul didn't know that. He hit Sanosuke on the head again, causing Sanosuke to shut up and go "X" eyed. Then Paul snapped his fingers, still looking pissed, and they disappeared.
~*~
Sanosuke: Pickledee pickledee Tickle Me Too!
*Kenshin, Kaoru, and Yahiko all sweatdrop*
Kenshin: He still hasn't waken up, de gozaru...
Kaoru: Maybe we should wake him up ourselves...
Yahiko: OI! ROOSTER-HEAD!
*He kicks Sanosuke in the head*
Sanosuke: Sweetie mommy would like more minutes of sleepy tweepy-
Yahiko: STUPID THUG!
*Kicks him harder*
Sanosuke: *drool* Glugg.....where am I??
*Kenshin and Kaoru try to pretend Sanosuke didn't say anything embaressing*
Kenshin: We don't know. A short man captured us.
Sanosuke: Short as you?
Kenshin: ......
Sanosuke: Heh, I think he got me too.
Kaoru: When I get my hands on him-! How dare he do this to us-
Paul: Helllllllooo!
Kaoru: Ah! !0_0!
Paul: You guys took so long to wake up. Geez. Now I can finally get down to business and get outta here.
Kenshin: (with golden eyes) First state to us why you have kidnapped us.
*Kaoru hits Kenshin, and his golden contacts fall out*
Kenshin: Kaoru-dono!
Kaoru: I told you to quit using those things to scare people! ITS ANNOYING!
Paul: You're quite annoying as well. How are you ever going to act like a turkey?
Kaoru: WHAT?!
*She launches at Paul, only to be restrained by the Sanosuke*
Yahiko: Act like a turkey? She already acts like a Raccoon, what else do you want?
Kaoru: GrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRR!!!
Paul: What do raccoons have to do with holidays? NOTHING! So shut up and sit tight so I can explain to you folks what your jobs are. Then I can skiddle doo back to my husband.
*The K-gumi sweatdrops. Paul's eyes bulge out*
*He shakes his fist towards the sky*
Paul: HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME SAY THAT!!!
*The fanfic author giggles and waves again*
Paul: (-_-') That was not true! Anyway, let me explain. The Holiday-persons have all gone on strike! Even little Fufu...
Kenshin: Who's Fufu??
Paul: The Easter Bunny! *sniff*
Sanosuke: The what?
Paul: Oh, shut up. Read these pamphlets. *Tosses several quite heavy looking pamphlets to the K-gumi*
Yahiko: Heck no, I'm not converting! I'm fine being non-religious!
Paul: THESE AREN'T RELIGION PAMPHLETS! Just read them!
~*~(Many, many hours later)~*~
Kaoru: This is the kind of crap people poison their children's minds with in the future?!?
Yahiko: That is so messed up! A fat guy dressed in red sliding down your chimney?!
Megumi: Not to mention very unhygenic.
Kaoru: *yelps* Miss Megumi?!
Megumi: (-_-') He caught me on the way to the clinic.
Kenshin: Ororoo....rabbits do not lay eggs that they most certainly do not!!
Paul: I know that! The rabbit just passes out the eggs, not lays them!
Kenshin: But that is still very strange, de gozaru...
Paul: Well, you're all not here to complain! You're here to replace them.
All: WHAT?!!
Paul: *ignoring them* Eenie Meenie Mini Mo...Aha! Red-head goes first!
Kenshin: ORO??
Kaoru: Kenshin!
Kenshin: Do not worry Kaoru-dono, I will come back safe and unh-ORO!
*Paul bonks Kenshin on the head and starts to drag him away*
Kaoru: Kenshin! Kenshin!
Kenshin: Orororooo...
Kaoru: Mou! I'm worried about you and all you can do is that?!
Kenshin: TTFN, Ta-ta for now!
Megumi: Good lord.
*And the K-gumi watches as their friend is slowly dragged away...*
Narrarator: What horrors await Kenshin? What does Paul mean, them having to replace "Holiday-persons"? Find out, next time, on...Holiday Jolli-...oh dammit, this title sucks. I quit.
Author: You can't do that! You're my character!
Narrarator: No I'm not! You stole me from Pokemon!
Author: No I did not-
Narrarator: *to readers* You believe me, right?
Author: Bye everyone! Hope you enjoyed! Please leave a review!
*Narrarator wails as he is dragged away by Author*
*******************************
Glossary:
Ohayo= Good Morning.
Busu=Ugly. (duh)
Authors Notes:
Howdy! This was previously planned to be part of RSI (Rurouni Spread Insanity), but then I decided against it because this might turn out to be a couple chapters long, and I already have the Hogwartz continuing story in RSI.
To New Readers
:Hello! Hoped you liked this. ^_^ If you did, would you be so kind to check out another one of my fics, RSI (Rurouni Spread Insanity)? It's stories are just as wacky, and you know, they're random and stuff, so its not just one huge fic that you need to read every chapter to understand; just the Hogwartz stuff. You'll see. ^^' Well, yeah, I'd appreciate it if you checked it out. And I'd also really really appreciate it if you reviewed. Thank you very very much.
Narrarator: She's lying! Get away while you still can! She'll glomp you if you do both of those things!
Author: ^_^' Heheh, Narrarator-dude, if you don't shut up now...
Review! Check out RSI! Hit me! Bye!
