I've been having horrible writer's block, so in the meantime, I've been writing meaningless non-drabbles. This is just a collection of my SetoxRen nonsense. Enjoy. Thanks for reading!

Schadenfreude – Avenue Q Soundtrack

Ren couldn't put her finger on exactly why, but she was in a shitty mood. Nothing terrible had happened to her today. The day had been relatively routine; she'd taken Mokuba to school, done some laundry, picked him up, and made it look like she was helping him with his homework. Nothing special. Nothing terrible. She heaved a sigh and looked up from her magazine.

"Don't let those magazines delude you into thinking you can get whatever man you set your mind to, Kuroki." Seto quipped, strolling into the living room with a bowl of sorbet, "Some of us are just ou-!"

Just as he crossed into Ren's line of vision, Seto's feet flew from beneath him and he landed hard on the slick wooden floor. Ren snorted, making a feeble attempt at being polite, before abandoning the endeavor altogether. She burst into laughter, applauding his blunder with gusto. Tears streamed from her eyes and her abdomen ached with glee.

"You shut your mouth."

"Get off the floor, asshole."

Doped Up Dollies On A One Way Ticket To Blood - Big D & The Kids Table

"Motherfucker!" Ren gasped, slamming her toe against the molding on the floor. She stumbled in her stride and shoved her bare foot into her boot, flying down the hallway. She snatched her keys and a bottle of something from the kitchen counter, shoving the keys into the ignition and splashing the substance into her face to wake her up.

I can do it, I can do it, I can do it, was her mantra as she rushed down the hill on her Vespa. She swerved around cars, sped through red lights, and broke more traffic laws than she ever had before. But then again, she had never been this late before.

She screeched to a halt in front of the high school, just as Mokuba strolled out to the street. "Hey, kiddo!" She chirped, a broad grin touching her lips. "How was school?"

"Fiiiiiiine..." Mokuba began, eyeing her carefully. "How was your morning?"

"Oh, wonderful!" She lied, smiling brightly, "Got the laundry done, was texting your bro a bit. You know; the usual bullshit."

"Ah."

"Yup!"

"You know you've got Kool-Aid in your hair, right?"

"... Get on the goddamn bike."

Monster – Lady Gaga

"Why the Hell would you break it off!" Karin Kuroki exclaimed, her elder sister glaring right back up at her from the kitchen counter. "You had a great thing going, Ren! Fucking the richest guy in the region, who has a rep for being a fantastic lay! What the Hell is wrong with you!"

"That boy…" Ren shook her head, "I don't really think it's a good idea that you and I talk about my sex life, actually. I don't want you or 'Chi getting any bad ideas. Don't make a habit out of one-night stands, you hear me?"

"Oh please, Ren, I'm seventeen years old, I think I can make my own decisions about my sex life, thanks." Karin scoffed, rolling her eyes at the eldest Kuroki daughter. She smirked down at her, plopping down into the bar stool next to her. "So? Why'd you do it? Break up with him, I mean. He didn't use the L word, did he? You just in it for the lay?"

"No! For fuck's-! Ugh! Karin!" Ren exhaled an angry snarl, focusing hard on the swirling marble pattern in the countertop. "He's a monster. And he didn't use the L word… I was afraid that I would."

Karin cocked her head to the side in question, opening her mouth to speak. Ren raised a hand to hush her. She sighed heavily, looking up to stare out the kitchen window. "He's going to eat my heart. And I don't want that. I'm not ready to fall just yet."

"But, Ren. You already have."

Just Dance – Lady Gaga

"I'VE HAD A LITTLE BIT TO MUCH – MUCH." Ren was at the point of slurring her speech but showed no end in sight, dancing around her bedroom with a glass of red wine, dressed to the nines in a black tee shirt and Superman underpants. She managed a halfway-stumbled moonwalk across the carpet and spun on her toes in front of the bed, studying her hips carefully as she swiveled them around.

"I CAN'T REMEMBER, BUT IT'S ALRIGHT, A-ALRIGHT, JUST DAAAAAAAAANCE." She held out her wine and began to pantomime smacking its invisible booty. She glanced up in the midst of her dance to see Mokuba standing in the doorway, watching her with his eyebrow cocked up as high as he could get it, hiding his smirk with his hand.

"IN THE MEANTIME, STAY AND LET ME WATCH YOU BREAK IT DOWN AND… DANCE." Ren extended her arms to Mokuba, waiting expectantly for him to bust a move. "DA DA, DOO DOO, MM, JUST DANCE."

Pretty Women – Sweeney Todd Soundtrack

"Seto…" The eldest Kaiba brother turned from the sink, a towel hanging loosely from his waist, his face only half-shaven, to face his younger brother. Mokuba's face was in a similar state, but a thin trickle of blood was trailing down his jaw. "I fucked up."

Seto couldn't help but smile at his brother, becoming a man right before his eyes. It seemed like only yesterday he was just ten, hugging at his legs, begging him not to go off to school and leave him alone with the tutors. He shook his head, beckoning Mokuba to join him at the sink. "It's okay." He spoke softly, pointing at the roll of toilet paper to stem the flow of blood. "Why were you shaving? You don't really need to yet."

"Dark, patchy peach fuzz isn't… exactly attractive…" Mokuba mumbled, staring into the mirror and taking up his razor yet again. "To girls…"

Seto glanced down at the dark-haired lad, unable to disagree with him, a fleeing image of the babysitter flashing in his mind. He continued with his shave himself, pulling his face taut. "Which girl?"

Somehow, Mokuba's cheeks managed to blush even through the bright white shaving cream covering the better portion of his cheeks. "Courtney Limoux… She's blonde… and French-American… and smells like plums and freesia."

Seto nodded, tapping his razor in the sink. "Is she a dick?"

Mokuba quirked an eyebrow and cast a gaze up at his older brother. "No?"

The elder Kaiba nodded again. "You've got me beat."

Riot Girl – Good Charlotte

"God I hate these people and I don't even know them."

Seto quirked an eyebrow and glanced over the back of the couch at the nanny. He caught a glimpse of her laptop screen and sighed. "Of course you're pissed, why are you reading that stupid gossip blog?"

"I was looking for that article about you, Princess." Ren quipped, scrolling through pages and pages gossip bullshit on , "But I got distracted by all of this talk about those stupid Duggar people, and Sarah Palin, and those fucking Jersey Shore tools who are just a waste of oxygen. Can you believe that they've been renewed for a third season? Who fucking watches this shit?"

Seto rolled his eyes, before turning back and leaning over her shoulder. "Wait. What article about me?"

"Nobody cares! Listen to how much I hate Dahvie Vanity!"

Bones – The Killers

"Ren what the Hell…" Seto launched himself out of the car, standing on the pavement, watching the girl run towards the ocean. He could hear the splash, but could no longer see her in the dead of night. "Oh, for the love…"

He peeled off his loafers and socks and dropped them into the driver's seat, rolling up his slacks and making his way down the beach. His eyes had yet to adjust to the light, and all he could hear was the rush of the ocean. Growing weary of the darkness, he clicked a button on his key ring, and the Audi roared to life, the headlights illuminating the shore. Ren stood soaked on the beach, stripped down to a set of nearly translucent panties. She grinned coyly, raking her bangs out of her eyes.

"Don't you want to swim with me, Seto?"

He bit back a smart remark, rethinking things. He slipped off his jacket and let it drop to the ground.

Cold Hard Bitch – JET

"Don't fucking touch me." Ren glared in his direction, light from her laptop bleaching her skin a pale white in the dark of the living room. Seto halted in his tracks, his hand halfway beneath the blanket over her legs. They sat in a stalemate for a few moments, staring one another down, her heated hazel leer only arousing him further. He lunged in and attached his lips to her neck, one hand shoving the computer aside, the other held fast at her slim waist.

Tremors of pleasure shot straight up her spine and her legs tensed. "Knock it off." She spoke as firmly as possible, unsure if she believed the words herself.

"Make me."

Ren cursed herself, her body for betraying her, and him, for winding her up to this point. "Fuck you."

Seto grinned; a smile that always made Ren tremble. "With pleasure."

Fever For The Flava' – Hot Action Cop

Ren's back arched in pleasure as her lips met Seto's once more in a heated, hungry kiss, pulling him closer as her legs wrapped around his waist. She didn't think that there was anything she loved more than fucking Seto Kaiba. Well, she was sure that it would be even sweeter if she were allowed to brag about it to somebody afterwards, but at this point, their relationship was a bit of a secret, and she didn't need it getting out anytime soon. And she was certain that it would be even sweeter if she could top for once.

Another loud groan escaped her lips, and with that, she placed her hand on his shoulder, giving him a hard shove. His head snapped up from its place at her neck, his eyes meeting hers in a hazy gaze. "What are you doing?"

"Switching positions."

"What?" He leveled a sharp gaze at her, quirking an eyebrow. "Why?"

She stopped then, raising an eyebrow of her own. Was he really going to argue this right now? While he was still inside her? "Because I want to top for five seconds, dickface."

"Why on earth would you want to do that?"

Ren rolled her eyes. His chances of them resuming their sexy times were slowly dwindling down to zero, which was really going to put her in a foul mood unless he corrected his attitude. "Because you suck at sex, and I hate looking at your fucking ugly face."

Dig A Little Deeper – Jennifer Lewis

Ren stared into her bathroom mirror, a towel wrapped tight around her torso, hair hanging wet and shaggy around her shoulders. She bared her teeth, which could have stood to be a shade or two whiter. Her eyebrows hadn't been waxed in almost four months, and there was a smattering of acne at her brow, due to stress. She sighed, shoving her toothbrush into her mouth, feeling the least glamorous she had felt in ages.

Seto peeked his head in from the bedroom, stopping for but a moment to peck a kiss on her cheek, before stepping from the bathroom and continuing on his way. Ren smiled around her toothbrush.