Title: "Of All I Wish I Hadn'tSaid"
Disclaimer: I own nothing, at all. But I would give alot to have some alone-time with Mischa Barton...
Pairing and Rating: Jessie/Katie and PG.
Summary: Just a little poem from Katie's perspective, just imagine that after Jessie had recived the letter she hadn't been as happy about it. It should become obvious as the poem progresses.
Feedback: I love it, it's like air for the ego - inflating.
A/N: Because of how this site works with line spacing, I've shown the change in stanza by switching from italics to bold.
You let your head drop,
Thumb and forefinger rubbing your sore eyes,
You squint;
Letting your eyes rest on a glass of alcohol.
The bright green liquid resembling toxic waste.
Shrugging, you shoot the drink back.
The harsh alcohol leaving a trail of fire as it makes its way into your stomach.
Sitting in your gut the alcohol feels like lava.
Tossing the empty glass to the side,
Not waiting for the sound of shattering glass,
You drag your focus back to the picture in front of you,
The two people frozen on the glossy paper smiling at you;
Entertained by your heartache.
You're one of them.
You look at your elated face and grimace,
Your prior happiness fuelling your present bitterness.
The other person in the picture;
The love of your life,
Similarly as happy as your frozen self.
Not any more,
You hope she's in pain,
Grieving the loss of your relationship,
And simultaneously,
You hope she's not,
You want for her to be happy,
You could never stand to see her cry,
Diamond like tears falling from her angelic eyes;
It used to rip you up inside.
Your brain recalls the times you would rap her up in your arms,
Rocking her back and forth,
Rubbing her back,
Shushing her sobs.
Your embrace always making her pain disperse.
But now your revelations making her eyes bleed,
A gentle stream of tears leaving her crystal-like eyes.
You tried to put your arms around her,
Tired to take the pain away.
But it was too late,
You had caused the damage,
But you couldn't rectify it.
And she had pushed you away.
You had loved her for so long,
For so long you had bottled your feelings,
Declaring only platonic love,
Not letting her see how deeply your heart craved her.
You always hoped her feelings ran deeper.
Apparently they didn't.
So you sit and drink,
Letting your heart and mind regress,
Taking you back through time;
Back to a time when you were friends,
Back to innocent delirium;
Back to holding her in your arms,
Back to when you felt hole,
Before the ache in your chest started,
Before the dreams of so much more were shattered,
Before you bore your soul.
That was then,
This is now,
And now,
Now you're alone,
Just you, a photo, and some toxic waste lining your stomach.
