Missing

~#~

Who am I?

I sat on my bed with my laptop infront of me, staring at the stupid essay heading. Stupid new teachers. Stupid school. Stupid everything for making me do homework.

Who am I?

It was easier when I was younger, it was the obvious stuff like, My name is Rukia and I have black hair and blue eyes. But now it's all about what interests us, likes and dislikes. Who we are on the 'inside'.

A break was in order. So I pulled out my phone and texted Ichigo. 'how you doing? this stupid essay is draining the life out of me.'

In a matter of seconds I got a reply, 'We are sorry to inform you that Ichigo Kurosaki died from boredom while working on his homework earlier tonight.'

I laughed out loud at his reply, he could always cheer me up. Whether it was his stupid replies or the ridiculous faces he pulls at me across the classroom. He was always there. We get teased about it a lot, classmates always making out that we're together but in denial. It's not true though, we've been friends since primary school. Just friends.

Who am I?

I put my head in my hands and sighed. How can anyone find out who they are? Especially when they have no clue who they actually are.

And I had no clue where I came from. I was adopted when I was three.

A minute later Mum's shriek was calling me downstairs for tea. I raced down, glad to get away from the essay.

"How's the homework going?" Mum asked while prodding something in the frying pan.

"Hnnngg," I replied.

"For goodness sake Rukia, why can't you comunicate properly with your family?" She sighed.

I looked at her. Same old Mum. Tall. Bony. Thin-faced. Nothing like me. Also she was English.

It was obvious I was from Asian decent, however my Dad was too. Philipino to be precise.

But still, nothing like me.

Looking up at Mum, I spoke slowly and clearly. "Who is my real Mother?"

She froze. A flash of terror ran across her face, then suddenly it was back to normal. Stoic and proper.

"I am." She said. "Why the sudden interest?"

"No reason." I looked down at my plate, wishing I had never said anything. Mum sat down, looking at me with her dark eyes. Frying pan still grasp in her bony fingers.

"I though you weren't bothered about all that?"

"I'm not." I said while rolling my eyes.

Mum stood up and ladelled the egg rice onto my plate. "I can't tell you anyway. It was a closed adoption, that means neither side know anything about one another."

She stood up and placed the frying pan back on the cooker, her face had turned anxious all of a sudden.

"Has someone said something at school?" She asked.

"No." I bent over my rice, shovelling it in my mouth. Trust her to assume someone else has tried to plant ideas in my head. It would be too much for her to imagine that I might has started thinking about it myself.

"What's for tea?" Russ ran in from the back garden. His little chubby face, red from the cold air. He was a spitting image of Dad. 'My little test-tube miracle' Mum always called him.

All I can say is that a lot of unpleasent things grow in test-tubes.

He skidded to a halt and plopped down at the table, "Ew, egg rice stinks."

"Not as much as you." I snickered. Clildish, I know. However I couldn't resist. Russ picked up his fork and stared prodding me with it.

"Mum! He's hitting me!"

Mum turned and glared at us both and silence ensued. She always said boy were like dogs, I head her say to a friend's once 'Boys are like puppies. All they need is affection and fresh air. Girls are much harder work.'

So why choose a girl to adopt? I remember all the times when I was younger when she would talk to me about being adopted. About how they picked me out of millions others, it made me feel special for a short while. Now I just feel like a mail order present. One they can't send back.

"Can Ichigo come round later?" I asked.

"When you've finished your homework." Was the typical reply.

"This rice looks like your puke." Russ said.

Sometimes I just really, really want to punch him in the face.

Once I finished my meal, I went back to my room and texted Ichigo. 'come round later?'

A minute later, 'ill be there at 7'

I checked the clock in the bottom corner of the screen. 6:15. There was no way I was going to finish this essay in forty-five minutes.

Who am I?

Adopted. Lost. I typed the word into the search engine.

I'd been thinking about it a lot actually. A few weeks ago I'd even looked at a few adoption information websites. Anyone would have laughed at me: hearth thumping, sweaty palms, stomach screwed up in a knot.

I mean, it's not there is going to be a site saying 'Click here for your adoption details!' Anyway, I'd need Mum and Dad's permission to find out anything about my life before I was three.

Unbelievable. And stupid!

My life. My identity. My past.

But their decision.

Even if I did have the courage to ask, there is no way Mum was say yes. Well, we all know who she is about the subject. Gets all nervous like a newborn deer.

It would serve her right if I went and did it anyway.

So I clicked on the search button.

Adopted. Lost. Nearly a million hits.

My heart thudded in my chest and I could feel my stomach clenching again. Sitting back against my chair, enough was enough.

I was wasting time, putting off my homework. Reaching the mouse the close the internet browser was when I saw it. An international site for missing children. I frowned at the page. I mean, how do you simply lose a child? I see how you can lose track of one for five minutes or so. And I see how they can go missing because a psycho has murdered them, but Mum says that only happens about once or twice a year.

I clicked through the homepage. Just a flickering mass of faces. Each face the size of a stamp, each face turning into another after a few seconds. My jaw hit the ground.

Were all these faces of missing children? I saw a search bar and slowly typed my name into it. Rukia. I hesitated. Really? Should I really being doing this?! Just messing about - seeing how many missing Rukias there were out there. I mean, it's not much of a popular name.

It turned out there were seventy three. Jeez. It flashed at the side for me to refine my search.

Part of me was yelling stop, the other part was yelling go on. "Don't be so stupid Rukia." I muttered to myself under my breath. The faces on the screen were missing children, not adopted like me - with no past. Missing with only a past.

I was just curious.

I added my birthday into the criteria and tapped the button. I waited as three 'Rukias' flashed up on my screen. One was dark skinned and had been missing since she was eleven and for five years.

The other was Chinese with dark hair and brown eyes. She looked about nine or ten - She'd only been missing for three years.

I stared at the third child.

Yuzuki Rukia Kuchiki

Case Type - Lost, injured, missing

Date of birth - January 14

Age now - 15

Birth place - Osaka, Japan

Hair - Black Eyes - Blue

My eyes flashed to the face above the words. A chubby, smiling little girl. Then the date she had gone missing. September 8th.

Less than a few months before I was adopted.

My heart must have skipped about ten beats. The birthday was couple days out. And I think I would of remembered being taken all the way from Japan. But no.

So it wasn't possible. I would have remembered.

Wouldn't I?

The question ran through my mind like an mantra. Turning me upside down and inside out, filling me up.

Could I be her?