Disclaimer: It's obvious I don't have Tales of Xillia, because it was properties of Bandai Namco.
Hello everyone, I'm back after the hellish finals! Along with the update of my story!~ this is the English version of the story with the same name since I guess I need to be fair because Our Love also got its own English Translation. I only retranslated it without any real ad-on save for added description. There is no Epilogue for this story or Cut part (although the end was in the borderline lol, I couldn't resist it!) so never ask me for one okay? :D
Anyway now that my ramble done and over with. Let's start the story and I hope you will leave some review~ Rina Aria present you the English Translation of I Have A Question please enjoy!
*Inspired from Xillia 2 skit with the title The Truth About Muzét.
Milla POV
"Viva, Romance!" I heard shouting that wasn't too foreign to me as I went down from the inn second floor. I wasn't being sarcastic but in my knowledge there were only two people who could shout that without being embarrassed about it. And those people are… Rowen and Alvin.
Muzét, my sister who is also a Great Spirit, turns her head to look at me before she turns her head to the direction of the voice. It looks like she has the same thinking as mine, just why they shout that loudly in a public place.
As if responding to my own internal question, Muzét said with curious tone, "I wonder what they were talking about…" as she placed her index finger on the middle of her lips as she tilted her head slightly to the side.
"I wonder…" I replied as I followed her gaze. If my memories didn't fail me, in the inn lobby there were Ludger, Jude, Gaius, Rowen, and Alvin doing I-don't-know-what over there. I had a feeling that it was enjoyable for them.
Right now, we are resting in one of recently built inn in Marksburg as we thinks about what we shall do after Elle is kidnapped and all of our Guidepost of Canaan is stolen by Bisley. Though it is more likely that we are waiting for Ludger decision since we do found solution. We respect his bond with his only family member so we come into term that tonight we will rest and do nothing about it.
Muzét looked at my direction with peculiar look as she blinked cheerfully that I had this feeling when she had something in her mind that would bring something troublesome. As if to confirm my suspicion, she said, "Hey, hey, Milla. Let's take a sneak peak at what they were talking about!"
I looked at Muzét with a surprised expression due to how absurd her idea was although I couldn't deny that I was actually interested (and half anticipated it already). But since I was pretty responsible and didn't plan to change it anytime soon that it killed all my curiosity, I said, "Muzét, it isn't taking a 'sneak peak' it was eave… eavesdropping… eavesdropping, yeah. It isn't a good hobby to listen on others conversation so stop it."
Muzét slips her arms over mine as she floats lightly around in the air and with a soft begging voice, she says, "Whatever with eavesdropping and take a sneak peak! Come on Milla… aren't you curious about what Gaius and Jude was talking?"
At the mention of the name, my breath hitched in my throat as I got frozen in my place. Muzét really knew where to push the right button by mentioning Jude's name. After a short moment I let my breath out before I said, "Muzét… like I said before, eavesdropping on others conversation isn't a good hobby… even if you mentioned those two names… wait, a minute, why you even mentioned their name?!"
Okay, honestly I don't know why I am like this whenever I am near Jude, now even the mention of his name has made me nervous. I still can remember his body warmth when he protects me from the sudden attack of Ice Dragon in Fort Gandala when we are facing Celsius. It is also still clear in my mind how strong Jude is when he tried to push me away from healing his injury, for whatever reason I don't know since I am worried about his well-being. His voice swirls inside my mind like a healing breeze as we sing the Hymn of Proof in front of Maxwell (or Spyrite Maxwell in this case) after we defeated two Four Elemental Golem.
Just by thinking of him, my heart become anxious and I don't know what I should do in front of him. After all, when our journey end Jude will walk away and leave me behind as he continues his research because we live in two different worlds in two different times. I have known this ending ever since I first appeared again in front of him to face Rideaux. No, I have known it even before that, as I choose to become a Maxwell instead of becoming a human. It is fate.
When I was snapped back to reality, Muzét gave me a meaningful smile as she hugged me tightly before she exclaimed in high-pitched voice, "Milla, so cute! You are my cutest Maxwell ever!" though it wasn't too high-pitched for me.
"Muzét, don't say something that could make people who hear it misunderstand your meaning," I said to her with lecturing tone as I tried to pry her away, though I couldn't really get mad to my cute older sister. In my standard, her attitude that always wanted to be right by my side was very cute.
Muzét then let me go and instead she clasps her hands over mine. She doesn't look like she has any trouble with my warning about eavesdropping and says with equally cheerful tone, "Okay, then we will not eavesdropping them. Let's just ask the people related to it directly!"
I tried to pull my hands away from Muzét grips to how absurd her idea was. I was a little angry at it and said, "Muzét… why you really wanted to know their problem? Didn't Gaius tell you something about respecting another people secret?"
Muzét simply laughed as she dragged me with her and made me reluctantly following her. She looked at me and blinked her left eye as she said, "Because it is interesting."
I only let out a deep breath and give up seeing how Muzét won't change her mind, so I simply follow her lead. Actually, I can walk around like how Muzét does, I mean with floating in the air and not walking. But I prefer walking than floating/flying because even if it is tiring, I can line my vision with Ju-… forget it; forget that I ever say anything.
We both entered the lobby and found that Rowen and Alvin were no longer in that place. So it left Jude, Gaius, and Ludger there. They looked like they were having their own kind of 'fun' that I couldn't get. From what I caught, Jude and Gaius were talking about how the people of Elympios weren't that different with the people from Rieze Maxia, save for their Mana Lobes, while they asked Ludger how the people of Elympios fares with the change.
The reason why I couldn't focus on it was because I had frozen in my place to gaze over Jude for who-know-how-many. Even when we were apart for one year or so, Jude had grown taller than he was from before. He had grown 2 cm from his initial height, which was 163 cm. He had grown closer to my height, which was 168 cm. I wonder when he would eventually surpass me in the term of height. No, if looking at how he managed to grow an inch in a year, he should have surpassed me when he is 18.
… Sometimes it is easy to forget Jude's actual age due to his mature demeanor. (Well, I mistook him as 17 or 18 in the first game lol. I flipped when I learned that he was still 15)
He has strong body and even if his skin looked soft and his demeanor was gentle and loving, he always trained his martial arts skill and taking him lightly would end up as anyone end. But lately I noticed that he had become slower than a year ago in though he was still the fastest between us, save for Ludger in his Chromatus mode. Maybe his research made him busy so he didn't get much training and knowing Jude, most likely he had overexert his human body even when he knew that he had some limit.
"Gaius, Jude, Ludger!" Muzét called the three men available with spirited tone that also sounded mature at the same time. Her voice also sounded like she was singing since in some part she dragged her calling. Her voice successfully snapped me from my trance once more.
Ludger turned his body from his position to see us as Gaius and Jude simply looked up since they were talking with lowered head. But I could see that they had the same expressions, which were that their face went pale as if they just saw a ghost, if it existed, taking the Ghost-type monster aside.
Of course, I wondered why they looked at us like that. Leia and Elize said that when I was like this, I would care less about small talk and said that it was slightly intimidating. But since I couldn't change it I simply said, "Why you guys looked at us like that?"
Jude are looking at me from up until down, from the strands of my hair and to the tip of my shoes (and that make me nervous) when he realizes that I was talking to them. He then stands straightly in advance like a statue or robot or something along those lines. His face looks red of embarrassment as he said (or shouted), "M-M-Milla… don't worry about it! Y-yeah, I didn't think about anything at all!"
One thing I noticed to not change from Jude was that he was still easily flustered.
But that one thing aside, I wondered what he was talking about since I had no clue about it. I raised one of my eyebrows and my right hand rested on my waist when I heard Gaius said, "I didn't pass any short of line and not agreeing to anything weird like the other. Maybe save for Jude."
Now that was like throwing fuel at… fire? Flame? I wonder what the idiom was for this… Anyway what did Gaius meant with 'agreeing to anything weird'? Did something weird happen?
"What do you mean with 'anything weird'?" Muzét asked with curiosity in her tone as she lightly quoted Gaius words. Honestly speaking, I too didn't understand what they were talking or what they might be talking. I had a good feeling that it was something uncomfortable, however.
Ludger laughed nervously. I could see something in his eyes that I didn't understand. After all, he looked like he wanted to know what was inside Muzét's and my mind. As he laughed nervously he softly said, "Well… you know… I mean… about your… clothes…"
Muzét and I looked at each other, processing what Ludger had said to us. Almost in synch we both said, "What about our clothes?" though with different way of speaking and choice of words.
Jude and Gaius turned pale in instant we asked that question. When I blinked, Jude had already clasped both his hands on Ludger's mouth while Gaius was glaring dagger to the guy. I was a little bit too shocked by their reaction, maybe Muzét as well, when I noticed that thanks to Jude's action, he successfully messed the table. The playing cards were scattered everywhere and Ludger's drink that was placed in front of him was now drenching Jude's lab coat, if that was one.
When he realized the result of his spontaneous action, Jude quickly took few steps back. Ludger merely looked blankly at him and then to his now sticky clothes. It looked like, the drink is Orange Juice or something, and from my limited knowledge about it, that beverage is quite a trouble when it was poured to your clothes.
Jude who looked flustered and apologetic at the same time quickly said, "I-I'm sorry Ludger… I-it wasn't on purpose… wait, I'll-"
Before Jude finished his sentence, as if he knew what Jude would say, Ludger shook his head with his ever present smile and said, "There is no need for that… Anyway, I'll ask the inn owner about where I could wash this…"
Without waiting for answers, Ludger quickly stood up and walked away. But I am sure that when he passed us, he had this weird expression as he looked at mine and Muzét's clothes for some reason. He then shook his head and scratched his head lightly before he finally walked out from the room.
… What was that?
I quickly snapped from my thought when I finally remembered that Jude had his lab coat drenched as well. I turned my head to Jude's direction that still looked apologetic and it looked like he had forgotten about how his lab coat was ruined. Initiatively I quickly approached him and took the cloth of his lab coat as he looked up so our eyes met. Jude's eyes are beautiful Garnet… focus Milla.
"What was on your mind Jude? It's quite rare for you to do something that reckless over something trivial like clothes…" I commented as I half-forcefully took Jude's lab coat. Jude easily gave it away though since I would often ask him to borrow me his lab coat for no particular reason. Maybe it was reflex on his side.
Jude laughed nervously as he gave me his lab coat without any resistance, whether he noticed it or not. His gaze softened but it quickly turned into one of nervousness as he said, "I-It's nothing… yeah nothing… I-it was just… t-there is… well, some weird… conversation…"
I let out a deep breath since it looked like Jude made it even harder to know what they were talking about. I turned my head to the side and saw that Muzét was trying to dig some information from exceptionally and weirdly quiet Gaius. In few heartbeats, Muzét let out a sigh as well and looked to me for an instant. It was only an instant but Muzét should know that I needed another private space to ask for information about this and Muzét understand that.
Jude looked at my direction and then to Muzét. I didn't know whether he noticed it or not, but his eyes looked from up to down and back to up before going down again like a routine. I noticed that he looked at my sister's face and then to her clothes before turning to me and do the same routine. A big question mark appeared inside my head since Jude's face turned red in the process for whatever reason.
To be honest… I needed that 'whatever reason' Jude's face turned red on the sight of my sister…
I quickly took steps ahead and placed my lips over his ears since I didn't want anyone to hear any of what I was about to say. With a small whispery voice I said, "I have a question Jude. If you don't mind it, let's get out and talk about it. I will wait for you at the port."
Jude looked like he didn't expect this from me. I didn't know why he would look at me like that, like how I was something special for him. My face slowly became hotter and before he could response I quickly walked away as I said, "I'll wait for you no matter what."
I guess I should ask Ludger what I should with these clothes…
After I took care of Jude's lab coat, I walked out from the inn. I met Elize and Rowen on the way as I told them I was waiting for Jude. The wait took quite a long times when I finally saw Jude emerged from the crowd and walked to my direction. He didn't change his clothes although it lacked its usual trademark lab coat. I liked him this way as well when he looked like he was on my reach. It was subtle and it worked like a reminder, but lately he felt so far from my reach. I hid this creeping feeling inside my chest as I smiled at him when he ran to my direction.
"I'm sorry that I took long Milla. Did I make you wait for too long?" Jude asked with worried tone as he calmed his breathing pace. It looked like he was running from the inn to see me and it made happy.
I smiled to his direction and gestured to the empty seat beside me before I said, "You didn't make me wait that long. Come on, sit beside me Jude."
Jude's movement halted like he was frozen at the exact moment I said that. I tilted my head to the side as if questioning his reaction and in response, he shook his head lightly before putting up a smile on his face. He then softly said, "Thank you Milla," as he moved to sat beside me.
I smiled at the sight of his shoulders slumping down. Lately I had seen him working a little bit too much and skipped a lot of rest. I tried to remind him that he needed the rest but he would just say that he would before he started working again. I had known his pattern since long so I would just quietly watch over him and would ask Sylph to make him sleep when I see that he had taken too long. Honestly, I had a feeling that Jude's stubbornness came from our interaction. I was so happy though that he gives a lot of his time to think about the way to realize our wished future.
I quickly diverted my attention when I felt that Jude wondered my lack of words after he sat down. Instead of his relaxed posture, I turned to see the dark sea that bordered with the sparkling stars ahead. It was the usual sight but because Jude was with me by my side, I wanted to treasure this sight we are watching together, no matter how usual this is.
"The sky tonight is beautiful, isn't it?" Jude asked with soft tone that soothes my mind.
"Yes…" I replied without adding anything else. I had no more comment than that and I just knew that Jude didn't need more answer from me than that.
The night breeze felt very nice as it went through my hair as it followed the wave's rhythm. Yes, today is a good night to spend outside with Jude. Although to be honest, if Jude was there by my side it felt like that the time spent is worthwhile.
There is an air of silence that hung between us for a little bit too long for anyone preference. But this silence between us is something that was usual for us as we had no need of words to tell what was on each other mind. But Jude break the silence with a small cough before he (nervously, I add) asked, "Why you wanted to talk with me Milla?"
I looked to Jude who had turned his body so he faces me. The space between us was mere centimeters but the warmth radiated from his mere presence gave me this warm feeling inside and I like that. However, I needed my share of 'whatever reason' that made Jude turned red when he looked at my sister so I replied with, "I have a question for you…"
Jude tilted his head slightly since I just know that he realized that I had different kind of question in my mind than my usual questioning method when I wanted to know about something. He opened his mouth slightly and rolled the words "Question…?" in a way that shows him to be in dark on what I wanted to ask him about.
I nodded to his direction as if giving him some evidence that what I wanted is different than my usual question. Without waiting any longer I asked, "Well, what are you guys talking about until Ludger looked at mine and Muzét's clothes ever since we greeted you guys? You were doing that as well so I couldn't help but become curious…"
Of course, I didn't ask the reason why he turned red when he did that as well especially when he looked at Muzét. It irritates me but I decided to keep that one inside my heart.
Jude's face quickly turned from his usual calm face into deep crimson. His mouth is gaping open as if he wanted to reason with me. I saw that his body moved away slightly so to make sure he didn't try to get away, I took his hand and grip it tightly. I tried to glare at Jude to force some sort of answer from him since I doubt he would tell me about this. But I need this in order to not claw Muzét after my sister stole Jude's attention.
"Jude, answer me," I said with demanding tone.
Jude looked troubled when I demanded him. I felt a little bit bad myself but sometimes such a mean is necessary. Jude averted his gaze slightly as if avoiding my eyes and nervously replied, "N-n-no… I-I mean… t-there is nothing…"
Jude should have known by now that I didn't buy his reasoning. I strengthen my grips on his hand as I moved closer to Jude until we are just few millimeters apart and I could feel Jude's breath on my skin. His face turned very red but maybe it was half because of the cold air around the port. I remembered that the coldest season for the year was around the corner.
"Don't try lying to me Jude. You should have known by now that I could see it when you are lying," I said as I tried to convince him to speak up. I don't know since when but I needed to know what had happened more than I thought I would. Maybe it was Muzét rubbing off on me again.
Jude averted his gaze again with still red face. He looked like he was troubled on how to answer my question without giving me something I shouldn't have known. But it looked like Jude didn't know how to do it too well so he took quite some times to think how to answer me.
"I-it was… well… how should I start this… it started like how we compared our fashion since last year… you know, since most of us moved to Elympios after that… and then I said that the one who had changed the most is Muzét… then Rowen commented that she looked more dignified as a Great Spirit… of course she is a Great Spirit already but you know the gist… but then Gaius…" Jude replied with an awful amount of spaces as he tried to make it sound believable. Well, I could see that he wanted to convince me something about his side and saw that for now what he said is the truth.
I merely nodded since Jude stopped in the middle of his explanation. He had not told me what I needed to know yet. Jude still had a lot of things to say from how he said it. I know he would tell me now without even waiting for my signal. I saw that he was, once more, arranging his words.
Jude took a deep breath and hung his head low as he meekly said, "W-well… Milla… promise me that you wouldn't get mad okay…? This is just coincidence…"
I let go my grips on Jude's hands before comfortably placed it on his well-built shoulders. I gripped his shoulders slightly before I replied, "You have my words Jude. But you should have known that I couldn't get mad at you no matter what…" You are a very dear companion of mine is the unspoken part of this.
Well, to be honest I doubt I could hate him even if he threatened to destroy the world and we had different standing. If that were to happen… I know when I strike him down I will mourn for him… even if no one would mourn for his lost… I will mourn for him…
Jude let out a breath of relief although he was still as red as before when he said, "S-so then… Gaius told us about that… Muzét's wardrobe isn't… the same 'clothes' that we defined it as… H-he said that he learned this from Muzét that… that Muzét made it using her power as a Spirit… 'materialize' it in a way so technically… like Efreet or Undine she didn't wear anything or in other name… na-na-"
I tilted my head to the side and finished the word that Jude had difficulty in completing, "You mean 'naked'?"
Jude nodded wordlessly and I let go of his hands. Now that was… interesting. I never would have realized that Gaius and my sister had talked that much during the period of their time together. I didn't realize that Muzét believed in Gaius that much already to tell him about this one. Although I honestly doubt that she realized it, and Muzét was just being herself and told Gaius for the sake of it.
When I turned my head to face Jude, he had his eyes focused on the ground when he said, "W-well… and then I instinctively… I promise you it is just an instant thinking I swear! A-anyway… then I wondered whether y-you… are the same like Muzét since well… you are a Spirit as well. B-but Gaius quickly shouted that he didn't have a clue about it… it became weird after that and I didn't think I wanted to know what made Alvin and Rowen in the same page as Ludger… t-that's why when you two walked in we were… at loss on what to do since your timing were too right… T-there you hear me… you are mad right? B-but Milla I swear… wait, Milla?"
I didn't know when exactly but around the middle of Jude attempt on explaining himself it had turned so funny that I secretly laughed. W-well, it was really unexpected for Jude… of all people to throw the idea of me walking around without actual clothes. Of course, it wasn't because I was mad, I'm a little bit flattered even since Jude mentioned me first instead of any other. It was flattering in a way but it was ridiculous nonetheless. I should admit that it was just half of the truth for my case.
"M-Milla, it isn't something to laugh about! I'm really embarrassed you know, don't laugh that much!" Jude said with a protesting tone as he tried to glare at me. I should say that he failed at it however.
"Y-yeah… it's just that… fufufu… s-so that's how it is… no wonder you guys were eyeing me and Muzét… b-but really… fufufu…" I replied while trying to keep my laughter into minimum. I saw that from the corner of my eyes that Jude was sulking each time I tried to keep myself from laughing.
"F-fine laugh all you want it is silly I know…" Jude complained as he threw his hands upwards in exasperated manner. He looked ultimately tired like when he needed to cover for Alvin.
I enjoyed how Jude looked so relaxed and looked like how he was supposed to be before I said, "Jude you should have known me better now that I learned… human behavior… there is no way fufufu for me to do something that… daring fufufu…"
Jude turned his attention to me as I tried to calm myself down. Human really is interesting with their wide array of topics ranging from the normal until something so silly like this one. What made it even more interesting is that Jude joined in this foolishness though I place my bet on how it was Rowen and Alvin that nudged him to this direction.
I took a deep breath to stop myself from laughing too much. It looked like Jude managed to calm down a little bit as well after I had my laugh. I sighed in content before I started my explanation.
"Well, how should I start it…? I did create half of my appearance using my Spirit power but underneath it all, I still use the kind of 'clothes' human defined as. Since no one is looking right now… here, it was like this Jude…" I said before dissolving my Spirit power from my clothes. My clothes dispersed as in my gloves, boots, and the outer appearance of my clothes revealing plain white china dress underneath it all. My boots became a simple white boots as well.
It looked like Jude was surprised when the light of Spirit slowly disappeared from me and let him see that I did wear some clothes underneath it all. But still it looked like Jude was still embarrassed to see me do this for some reason.
I took Jude's hands and linked our fingers before I leveled our eyesight. Our eyes met each other when I said, "…Those were the parts that I materialize using my power as Spirit. I get the base of these clothes from the clothes that Ivar left when he departed from Nia Khera. See… there is no way that…"
But before I could finish my sentence, Jude pulled me to his direction and effectively made me land on the side of his shoulders. I lost all my words as I felt Jude's hands wrapping me on the back and his breathing tickled my neck.
My heartbeat increased abruptly as he muttered, "Thank goodness…"
I was taken off-guard by his comment and I couldn't help but become nervous. Ignoring the uncomfortable position, I placed a hand on his chest and gripped it quite tightly as I close my eyes, trying to clear my head. With a soft tone, I continued, "I knew that if… if someday we meet again… I know if I do the same thing as the Four on their clothes then… when time comes for it… I'm sure you will get troubled. I don't want to drag you… A-and last year, you looked like you were always uncomfortable with my attire so I thought it would be… a nice change."
Jude turned quiet for some reason, but no longer than a minute he began stroking my hair tenderly as he whispered, "So that's why… I'm flattered that you hold my opinion in high regards Milla… I'm so happy to hear it so… thank you Milla."
I felt like the heat that my body generated was concentrated on my face and my ears. Jude kind and grateful whisper had calmed my heart numerous times already, but this time it felt even more special. I remembered that when I said that he really is kind to everyone, he would turn back immediately and said it firmly that he didn't do it for just anyone. Was it too soon for me to think that I'm special for Jude? Even more special than any other girl he ever met? I felt like my head turned into pure white at his words.
And after he stroked my hairs few times, he tightened his grips on me. I was slightly taken by surprise since Jude was almost like he was crushing me using his weight. But, I feel that Jude really is warm… the sound of his heartbeat made me felt like that I really is exist in the same era as him.
Not long after that, even when I didn't say anything to reply his comment, Jude whispered once more, "Milla… I love you…"
"Eh?" I had no other way to response it since I didn't think that I would hear it coming from Jude. Leia and Elize often say the same thing, even Muzét did it on daily basis, but I felt like that the meaning of the word was different in Jude's perspective. I felt like his feeling is more intense than the meaning of 'I love you' that I knew and often heard.
My heartbeat accelerated when I heard it. It was so loud that I was scared that Jude might hear it. I don't even know why I didn't want Jude to know how he had this effect on me. But for some reason, this is embarrassing…
"Can we stay like this… just a little bit longer? And… don't say anything about what I was about to say… I just… I just want you to listen… it is okay if you don't understand, but please… hear me out," Jude said softly resembling a whisper.
I didn't know how to respond Jude except by nodding my head. I have realized it for quite long, but I really couldn't say 'no' to Jude. I also wanted to learn more about him… I want to know him better than anyone. I… I wonder what is this feeling…
"Milla… I love you… I love you so much… I don't care what would happen in the future, but I want you to know that I really care about you Milla… I love you… I love you so much I don't want to let you go…" Jude whispered softly and tenderly. His voice went straight from my ears to my heart that it started to hurt. But this kind of pain felt good…
Jude repeated his words in an endless loop as if it was a chanting. Despite knowing that, I know I was already trapped in that spell and slowly but surely, I hope I could say what I feel towards Jude. I wanted Jude to know that I too… felt the same way about him. I love him until my heart was about to burst.
'Jude… if only you could sense my feeling for you…'
Jude's voice from that night still remained inside my head since I was already bound to his spell. Even after Jude let go of me from his embrace, I still could remember how the hug was warm and pleasant as it seeped through my skin that night.
I would unconsciously wrap my hands around my body since it was so cold without Jude by my side and warped me in his warmth. I was completely absorbed by his voice, his warmth, his sincerity, everything of him, that I couldn't think straight. Ah… Jude… I love you… I love you…
"Milla, watch out!"
The shouting snapped me from my trance and when I looked up, a monster was already right in front of me, readying itself to give me a finishing blow. My eyes widened and I was about to dodge it, but I was split second too late and soon I found myself thrown aback.
"!"
My body hit the ground and my consciousness slowly fading out. But, before I was completely swallowed by the darkness I heard Jude's voice, he was shouting my name in worry. I wanted to reassure him that I am okay… but no voice could come out. I sighed in my head, thinking that when Jude said my name, it felt like that name really is beautiful…
'Jude…'
Jude POV
I quickly ran to Milla's side after she lost her consciousness. I called her repeatedly as I cradled her body in my arms, taking little to no attention of what happened around me. I was worried about Milla well-being as I checked her wound… I'm so glad that she merely lost her consciousness.
"Jude, we must clean this up first!" I heard Leia shouting to me because we are still in the middle of fight and I'm sure that the monster won't wait any second to hurt us.
I clicked my tongue before I laid Milla in the safe place before I glared to the monster that had attacked my precious Milla. Ludger and Leia were sweeping the floor not so far from me, but they left me with three monsters to handle by myself, nothing I couldn't handle even without help.
I readied myself to teach a lesson to the monster that dared to touch Milla. As I dashed to their direction, I swore that I'm not going to let it get away after what they had done to Milla.
After we finished the fight, we brought Milla back to the city since they left Elize in the inn. Of course, Ludger and Leia stayed with me because they were worried about Milla's condition and to prevent me from blaming myself.
Now Milla was sleeping on the bed while Elize healed her. I saw that soft tender light was absorbed by Milla's body, the light of Spirit that I saw from Milla last night, as Elize chanted the spell with her eyes closed.
After few minutes, the light disappeared and Elize opened her eyes, the healing was over. She let out a breath of relief and turned to my direction before she said, "Milla is fine, she would wake up sooner or later… well, most likely this afternoon. She needed rest after what happened…"
Everyone let out a breath of relief without exception. But, I still blame myself since I couldn't protect Milla since the start. I gritted my teeth at the thought. I vowed to her and to myself that I will protect her no matter what, I want to protect her more than anyone, but I…
"Seriously Jude, Milla would be okay so stop making that kind of expression!" Leia exclaimed and effectively cut the line of my thinking.
I turned my head to her direction to notice that Ludger and Elize also had their eyes on me. I knew that they were worried and I slightly blame myself from making them worry about me. I turned to another direction before I mumbled, "I'm sorry…"
Ludger let out a long sigh before he said, "Well Jude, sorry but I need you to stay here with Milla. I, Leia, and Elize would look for Alvin and asked him for anything worthwhile to do before we focused on the main problem."
I looked to his direction and I knew what he implied with that. I nodded lightly before I said, "I'm sorry that I couldn't be of help… but thank you for letting me stay by Milla's side right now. If there is anything, you need from us… don't hesitate to give me a call…"
"Yeah…" was Ludger reply as he patted me on the shoulders.
Leia also smacked me on the shoulders before she jokingly said, "Don't worry about us too much when you were worried about Milla the most right now Jude. You need to make a better lie because it was all written on your face."
My face turned red instantly and I could hear Elize laughed lightly when Teepo said, "Jude is too easy to guess. But he never took a step forward to make Milla know about it!"
I just put on a not amused face and quickly pushed them out of the room before they started teasing me again. It was quite irritating to listen on how I should make a move to Milla that even Ludger started to tease me as well when he was in love with the other Milla.
I let go a deep breath when I sat beside Milla's bed. Milla looked like she was okay, but she still didn't open her eyes. Actually, I noticed that Milla was thinking about something before. No, she looked like she was deep in her thought ever since we departed from Marksburg. It was a rare sight for Milla who was always ready to jump on danger to let down her guard like that.
I touched her cheek that felt cool on my touch. I wanted to know what had made her think that hard. Was she thinking about what I was saying last night? I actually didn't want to burden her with my feeling nor telling it in the first place to receive an answer. I just wanted to say it to her before I couldn't say it anymore even when I wanted to.
"I told you to not think about it… but why you still think about it Milla…" I mumbled more to myself rather than Milla.
I let out a big sigh since I couldn't understand what Milla was thinking. Usually we could understand each other naturally without saying anything, but for this matter, I couldn't understand her at all. And usually, Milla wouldn't think about something I requested her to not ponder about something. What made this time different?
'Thinking too much tires me out…'
When I opened my eyes, I was still groggy that I couldn't tell where I am nor when is it. But, after orange light shine upon me, I quickly looked up and turned my head to the direction of the window. My face turned pale as the realization dawned upon me.
"It's already afternoon?!" I exclaimed naturally when I was wide-awake.
Then I realized that my voice is a little bit too loud as I turned to see Milla. She was still sleeping silently. I let go of my nervousness before clearing some of her hair that distract my view of her. It was then that I saw Milla's eyes stirred.
I quickly pulled my hand back when I saw that Milla's eyelids opened slightly. It was as if her eyes worked on slow motion when she was waking up. I didn't dare to move or saying anything because Milla looked as if she is a Sleeping Beauty that was cast off from the curse of eternal sleep.
Milla blinked few times as her eyes regained its focus by each blink. She then looked to the side and our eyes met in an instant. Milla's eyes looked at me as if she was still dreaming and merely gazed upon me. I couldn't say anything under the deep drowning eyes that she had.
But after some brief moment of silence, Milla's eyes widened and then she moved as if she was about to wake up. Naturally, I placed both of my hands and pushed her back to the bad when she clutched her head in pain. I let out a sigh when I said, "You are knocked unconscious just before. I think it won't be wise of you to force your body Milla."
Milla opened her mouth as if she wanted to deny what I said but I gave her a half-glare that told her to be quiet. She looked like she was in no mood on an argument and decided to lie down. When she was lying down, I noticed that her gaze was running around the room as if looking for something before she looked at me with questioning eyes.
Knowing what she wanted I ran my hands on her hair as I said, "The other went to look for something worthwhile to do. I stay here to keep watch on you Milla. That's why you should rest a little bit more. It looked like you were tired and that made your reflex a little bit slower than usual…" and I realized you have something on your head as well. Is what I wanted to tell Milla, but I wanted to avoid argument so I kept it inside.
Milla looked like she felt guilty for making me stay to watch over her as she said, "I'm sorry that I become a burden to you Jude. It looked like I was always making you worry…"
I stifled a laugh and Milla responded with a glare to me. I shook my head a little and put on a smile as I said, "Don't you remember Milla that I 'want to be your strength'… It was the promise I give you a year ago. Maybe you had forgotten it, but I still kept that promise in my heart… that I want to be your strength…"
Milla looked at me solemnly as if she was contemplating on something or maybe she half-blamed herself for changing my life before. I took her hands and gripped it tightly when I said, "That's why Milla… if you have a problem, I will lend you my ears… if you wanted something, I will do my best to grant it. That's why believe in me Milla like how I believe in you."
Milla's expression changed into one of surprise before she returned my grips. I didn't understand what Milla wanted to tell me as she looked on my hands. We then gazed at each other eye as if looking for the answer that we needed, whatever that answer would led us to.
Without averting her eyes from me, Milla gently muttered, "I have a question Jude…"
I tightened my grips on her hand and looked at her with resolved gaze as I said, "I will answer as good as I can…"
Actually, I didn't feel like I could answer Milla if by some chance she asked me about last night. There would be no way I could tell her that I didn't love her in friend-like way, it would be a big lie.
Milla smiled softly before she pulled my right hand and placed it on her chest. I instantly panicked and was about to question Milla's reasoning since no one would naturally do this. I felt my face became hotter as I felt the soft fabric of Milla's clothes that enhanced her womanly curves.
But what made me even more surprised a split moment later was because of loud thumping sound that I felt under my hands. I felt my breathing was hitched on my throat since the sensation felt familiar. It wasn't that I could listen on Milla's heartbeat on daily basis, but it felt like it was similar of my own when I was around Milla. I didn't want to get my hope up but…
I looked to Milla's face and found her looking at me with a peculiar expression that I couldn't pinpoint. She gazed at me tenderly that gave me the feeling that everything will be okay even if our bond changed. It was that promise where we would do anything in our capability to make our dream come true.
Milla opened her mouth slightly as she pressed my hands even firmly on her chest. She took a deep breath before she said, "I always felt like this whenever you are around Jude. My chest heartbeat increases, I felt like I could die out of air when I saw you with another girl, and I felt the happiest whenever you would smile beside me. I don't know what I should do about this because I couldn't help but think about you. And then last night…"
I don't know how to response on how Milla described her feeling to me. It was slightly embarrassing but I felt the joy threatening to burst in my chest. I have long wanted to hear this come from Milla. I want to protect her… I want to walk by her side. But until last night, I had no guts on saying it…
Milla moved my hands away from her chest and instead pulling me to the bed so I was already half-lying half-towering over her. I have no time to think about my surroundings when Milla started gazing at me and drowned me into the depth of her eyes.
"I have seen a lot in our journey… that this feeling… that this feeling that I had… you also have it as well. And last night, you put it into words… the words 'I love you Milla'. I don't know how to reply your words that time but I…" Milla continued her explanation as she kept her eyes on mine. She looked like she struggled for the correct words to say to me.
I felt my head became white after listening on the first half of her explanation. It might be just me having a high hope but I couldn't help but think that Milla… my dearest love of my life… have the same feeling as me…
Without saying anything else, I let go of Milla before hugging her tightly, carefully placing myself so I didn't crush her with my weight. I sensed that Milla was surprised by my sudden move but I don't want to let her go anymore. I knew I need to let her go someday, but for now, just for this moment, I don't want to let her go.
"Milla… I don't want to let you go…" I whispered as I embraced her body. Despite having a smaller frame than Milla, it felt like that Milla was more frail than normal. Was it the effect of being knocked unconscious before?
After few moment of silence that felt like eternity, Milla's hands crept up on my lab coat until I felt her strong grips around my back. As if responding to what I said before she replied, "I… I love you as well Jude… I don't want to let you go as well. I know that someday we will be separated once more… that is what fate dictated… But even so, I love you… I want to pray for your happiness… and for now, I don't want you to let me go either…"
I loosened my grips on her to look at her face when our eyes met and I clearly could see the love and passion that was there and the fact it was directed for me. I placed my hand on her cheek and tenderly stroke it before I whispered, "May I… kiss you?"
Milla looked at me with slightly questioning gazes. It looked like she didn't really understand my request. But despite still looking like she didn't understand, she replied, "It is okay…"
Seeing how Milla gave her permission despite not understanding what I meant made me smile slightly. I pressed my forehead with hers and gazed at her eyes that were looking at me with big question mark in it.
When the tip of our nose met, I sensed that Milla was being defensive and nervous. I tenderly stroked her cheek as I muttered, "Milla… you need to relax… entrust your body to me… believe in me Milla…"
Milla nodded slightly and I could feel her tenseness decrease considerably. Her eyes when she gazed at me felt like it was drawing me into her even more. Milla look beautiful yet at the same time frail. I wanted to protect her… I swore, with my own hands… I will make her happy so that she wouldn't shed any tears of sadness…
"I love you…" I muttered softly before I pressed my lips firmly with Milla.
Her lips were sweet and at the same time very soft. Her lips had trapped me like a honey-coated trap as I pressed my lips even further. Milla didn't push me away when I kissed her and instead she tightened her grips on me. Honestly speaking, I don't want to let her go but the need of air caught up with me so I let her go.
But, I was surprised when I heard Milla whispered, "Don't let go…" and when I realized it, she already had her lips on mine.
Of course I was surprised, it is a natural reaction, but I didn't deny it either. I placed my hands on hers as our fingers intertwined with each other. Our body was pressed against each other so we could erase the distance that separated us as we kissed more.
It was until when we both were out of breath that we took our break. We gazed against each other as I bit the inside of my cheek as to force myself to not do anything more than this. Milla who was gazing at me then murmured, "Jude… I have another question…"
I looked at her. I was half-wondering what she was saying and the other half wondering what she wanted to ask. I merely nodded for approval and probed Milla to continue with her question.
Milla looked at me with a new expression that I never saw on her face when she said, "Can I connect with you more…?"
I looked at her with wide eyes but Milla looked like she was dead serious about it. I placed a hand on her face as I gazed at her, looking for the answer that I needed. Milla straightforwardness betrays me nothing but the fact that she was dead serious about that.
I opened my mouth in realization. The invitation was tempting and dangerous at the same time. I knew that if I gave her what she asked… and what I wanted, everything will change. This was something that we shouldn't do… yet, I took the bite of the forbidden fruits that was presented in front of me.
"Your wish is my command… Milla."
Now this is really in the borderline of that 'kind' of scene lol. I changed the initial story quite a lot actually, though it is still have the same essence and the 'borderline' ending lol. I was more straightforward in the Indonesian version of this though lol. I will stop rambling here so now since we are at the end of story, I hope you have a nice time reading this and leave me some review~
