~In the rain, the pavement shines like silver; all the lights are misty in the river. In the darkness the trees are full of starlight and all I see is him and me forever and forever…"

"I hate you Edward." I exclaimed as I clutched my chest. His eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"You don't mean that Bella." He pleaded. I glared at him through tear filled eyes.

"Yes I do." I growled with finality. He shook his head.

"Bella,"

"Don't call me that!" I shrieked. My heart was tearing in two. A wedding, he was celebrating, getting married in the middle of my suffering. Yeah, he cares about me so much, so much that he decided to relay the message personally to my house. The house I was supposed to be saved from. The life, I was supposed to be saved from. Now I understood why he hadn't been answering my phone calls when I needed him,

'Call me if you need me.' He'd said to me. When I called him he never answered, when I needed him he was never there. Why lie? I should have known that I couldn't trust him.

"You did this to me!" I shrieked. "This is your entire fault! I called you and you didn't answer! You promised to be there for me and you weren't! You did this to me!" I rolled up my sleeves and showed him the angry red slashes on my arms and quickly struggled to pull them back down. A look of utter heartbreak was etched upon his face as he stared at me in silence and in shock. He stepped towards me slowly, his hand out stretched as if to caress my face, but I backed away knowing I'd be hopelessly lost in his touch.

"Bella stop. Stop please." I turned around and raided my closet for my duffle bag. Taking all the clothes my arm could fit, ignoring the sting of the cuts on my arms I grabbed them all and stuffed them in my bag. Edward froze in panic and fear. "What are you doing?" He exclaimed as he jogged over to me, grabbing my hands. I wrestled against him, losing terribly. Finally he just grabbed my wrists and held them tightly above my head. Images flashed before my eyes and I cried out as the memories assaulted me.

"Don't touch me!" I exclaimed in fear. His hands, had transformed into Kent's hands, and Mike's hands. His eyes morphed into Mike's and Phil's. He released me immediately and walked toward me as I backed away. "Get away!" I shrieked as I threw my hands up to shield myself from him. In my haste to protect myself I tripped and fell to the floor. In a final attempt of escape I crawled to the corner and curled up in a protective ball trying to block out the world around me.

"Bella…" He whispered brokenly. "No…" He whispered as a lone tear raced down his cheek. "I'm not like them I won't hurt you!" He exclaimed fervently. I shook my head not caring about what he said. He was a liar.

"Don't hurt me. Please." I begged brokenly. My voice drowned in defeat, was of medium volume, but in my own ears it sounded so loud…

"I won't-"

"Just stop. Just get out!" I cried as my vision of the present returned. I saw him standing there as he was, beautiful as he was and as vile as he was to me. He stood stone still.

"OUT!" I shrieked as I gripped my hair. With that final word, he fled the room but not before promising that he'd return. I stood slowly, grasping the wall for support. Tears swam down my face as I finished packing my things. I grabbed the money I had saved up for emergencies from the bottom of my dresser drawer and grabbed my hair supplies. The last object of any value to me, sat staring me in the face. It was a picture of Edward and I on Halloween one year. Edward didn't dress up, but I was a cat and a cute one at that. Taking the picture, meant taking everything I was trying to leave behind with me, but leaving it would signify that I was definitely leaving behind a piece of my heart. I sighed and grabbed a nearby notebook, I ripped out eight pieces of paper. The first note I wrote was addressed to Mike.

Mike

Ironic isn't it? You said I'd never leave

And funny how when I was with you, my spirit to you would cleave

Though you hated me

Toyed with me

Lied to me

And broke me…

I still loved you

Or atleast I tried to

At least I can say that I never deceived you

So this is goodbye, the final bow

I don't want any whys, who whens, whats or hows

You don't deserve them

And I won't give them

Just know I'm gone and that with all my heart.

I hate you

The next was Jasper's

Jasper

I just wanna say thankyou

You really lightened my load,

You built a lot of bridges and you smoothed many of my rocky roads

Jasper I love you, my twin, forever more

And if I never return just remember that

You're worth more to me than logic or the facts

That you always tried to quote to me

About religion or spirituality,

None of that matters now, just know that I care and I love you always.

Bella

Then Camiella's, Trinity's, my mother's and Emmett's and finally Edward's.

Edward

We wore huggies together

Went to church together

Ate sand

Held hands

We even wrote things together

You cheered me on at dance competitions when no one else could come

You had my back always, and you were the only one

Who ever thought to put me first

And because I thought it was done for love,

Mistakenly I fell for you

I'm sorry I can't turn back time

This is one thing I can't undo

But its true Edward, I'm desperately in love with you

Even though you hurt me

Abandoned me,

Just when the love was getting strong

And I see that you have Tanya to make you smile, I guess you really do belong

Good luck on your wedding day

Something that I'll never have

No man will ever love me after what I've been through

You're living proof of that

I'm sorry I'm not Tanya

That I can't afford the things she wears

I'm sorry I don't have her skin tone or her really pretty hair.

She's beautiful I'm not

She's pure and I'm a whorre

So how could I even try to compete, its an insult to compare our scores

I'm glad you're finally happy, even at the expense of my life

Just remember I kept her pure...I took her place that night

Bella

And Phil…

Phil

I hate you burn in hell.