The walls were the same, all painted white. The floors were the same here, as they had been last night, shiny and polished. It even had that same damn ticking clock in the corner; every second was announced out loud. So loud that it rang in her ears.
She remembered how, when she had sat in a room like this the last time, she had been scared, probably the most scared she had ever been in her life. She remembered how her hands had clutched on the edge of her seat, turning her knuckles white, while she waited. She had waited for her name to be called. Waited for everything to go back to normal.
She remembered how he had been there, he had sat a few seats down from her, she had said to him not to sit next to her, she didn't need his pity, and she could do this by herself.
He had protested that he only wanted to make sure that she was okay, to let her know that she could talk to him at any stage, that she could turn in the opposite direction and walk away, and he'd follow her. But she hadn't turned and walked away. She hadn't then, and she wasn't going to do that now either.
The other difference between then and now, is that he wasn't here with her now. She didn't know where he was, he never answered her calls anymore. She knew that he blocked them on purpose, it always rang a few times before he ended the call, long enough for him to check the caller ID.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Damn, that clock was loud. Couldn't they get a quieter one? The pounding in her head was loud enough.
She fiddled with the strap of her purse, her nails digging into the fabric.
She gazed at one spot on the ground, transfixed at its shine. She wondered whose job it was to clean the floor, and how they got it so shiny.
She wanted to look up, catch the eyes of anyone else sitting in here, just so she wouldn't have to be alone, even just for the time being.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
She looked at her watch, just as she had those years ago.
She remembered how she had gazed at the time, and then had to look again because she wasn't really paying any attention to the clock, she hadn't being much attention to anything at that time. She had just gone to bed every night, and prayed that something would happen, something would happen to stop her.
She closed her eyes and pursed her lips. She began to tap her foot off the floor.
She began to think of the reasons of why she was here, again, after all the times she had sworn she'd never do it again. It had ruined her life back then, for a few months, until she had learned to bury the pain. She was good at that.
But then again, back then, she would have never imagined she'd be in this specific situation, and she cursed at herself for putting herself in this predicament. She had known what she had been getting herself in to.
She wouldn't have been able to walk away then, and deal with the consequences, and she wouldn't be able to walk away now. If she stood up now, and just walked out that door, she would have to leave. She couldn't be around him anymore, he couldn't know, just as he hadn't known the last time. She smiled, but it was more of a half-smile, not at something amusing, but at herself, for being so stupid.
There were two 'he's' now.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
She exhaled, daring to look up and around the room, noting how many people filled the chairs in the seating area. There were far too many chairs here, she thought, surely there wasn't a need for so many chairs.
Her cell phone buzzed in her bag, giving her a strange feeling of deju vu. Her phone had buzzed then too. She had pressed the 'End call' button then, and turned off her cell, throwing it back in her purse.
But now, she couldn't. If she didn't pick up, he'd come and find her, using the locator chip he didn't think she knew about in her cell.
''Hey...'', she said calmly, trying not to be too loud to disturb anyone else. She relaxed a little at his voice, maybe this different have to happen now, maybe they could work it out, be together. But then she stiffened. She knew it would never work. He'd find out the truth one day, and he'd kill her.
''Yeah, the afternoon with my Mom is taking longer than I thought'', she said, trying to inject a happy tone into her voice, as happy a tone as she could manage.
''I'll be home tonight, around eight. Yes.'' She replied listening to his response as another woman walked into the waiting room, holding a clipboard. Like that woman had all those years ago. But this woman didn't have the same hard, cruel look as that other woman had when she had called out the name off the top of the list off her clipboard.
''Lauren Reynolds...''
Emily raised her hand and nodded at the woman, turning her attention back to her phone,
''Ian honey, I've got to go, my Mom's calling...yes...love you too...''
She flipped down the phone and threw it into the small pocket in her purse and stood up to follow the woman.
As she began to walk down the hallway, a hallway that looked remarkably the same as that one had, years ago, she was turned back into that fifteen year old girl. Her hand hit off her stomach as she walked, quickly touching and comforting the small life form that rested inside her abdomen.
''I am so sorry...''.
Emily knew who she was apologizing to, but it wasn't to God, like the last time, it wasn't to Ian, who she knew would kill her if he ever found out where she actually was, it wasn't even to herself, she already knew she'd hate herself for the rest of her life for what she'd done, again.
She was saying sorry to her children. To the child she had gotten rid of all those years ago in Rome, while Matthew waited for her in the waiting room, waiting to bring her home. And to this child, the child that would never know that it's father was a serial killer, that its mother was living a complete lie. To the child, that, by that evening, that would not exist in Emily anymore, the child that would be with its sibling.
A/N: Thank you for reading.
