Hey everyone! So, I had this idea to write something with only dialogue. No descriptions, no imagery except what's provided by the characters as they speak. I haven't written a oneshot in a while so I hope I don't disappoint. Let me know what you think. Should I delete it? Was it great? Should I remove the symbols? Should I add normal interaction sentences? Personally, I like it. Feels like I'm eavesdropping. :3 Please review because chelseyelric lives off of comments and peanut butter! X3 On with the show.


symbol is Spiderman speaking, * is Deadpool speaking, as you'll see.

"…" = Pause/silence/space for an unknown action (can be calm, due to anger or embarrassment)

"…!" or "!" = surprised silence

"BOLD" = random in-sentence shouting


"Holy shit, Wade! You could have killed me!"

* "Yeah right, Spidey. I've seen you fall from higher and bounce right back into the fray."

"Yeah, but that's when I wasn't TRANQUILIZED!"

* "Not tranquilized, paralyzed, and only mildly. Either way, you wouldn't have died and you know it."

"Haaaaaah…Obviously there's no point in guilting you, so I guess I'll just skip to asking why you did it."

* "To try out my new stash of specialized neurotoxins, of course. Plus, I wanted to mess with you."

"And you wonder why you PISS me OFF!?"

* "Nah, that's a given. I just ask to piss you off more."

"…"

* "Alright, well, now that the paralytic has taken full effect, let's get to it."

"Get to what?"

* "Never you mind. Just sit back and enjoy."

"Enjoy whAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?"

* "I said never you mind."

"I sure as shit mind when you're pulling down my pants in an alleyway!"

* "Why? Scared you'll get caught?"

"With my pants down? Please. That's happened to me so many times I've lost count."

* "That's not what I meant, but I guess you'll figure it out eventually."

"Figure what out?...DEADPOOL!"

* "What?"

"Don't you dare! I swear, if you lift up my mask-"

* "You'll what? Scream at me? You do that already."

"No! Just…I…don't! You can't know who I am! I need my secret identity! There are people I have to keep safe."

* "Jeez, Spidey. If you're gonna cry about it, I guess I won't. But don't think I'll be so merciful from here on out."

"…whatever."

* "Alrighty then…damn, you look good like that."

"Shut up, you creep!"

* "But you'd look much better if this came up."

"Put my shirt back the way it was, Wade!"

* "No. Mmm, I like your nipples, Spidey. They're so cute. And would you look at those abs."

"You're really starting to freak me out, man."

* "Said I wouldn't be merciful. Wow, your skin's surprisingly soft."

"Get your hands off my chest!"

* "…"

"Ow! Why the hell'd you slap me!?"

* "Cuz you won't shut that mouth. I'm gonna do whatever I want-"

"AH!"

* "-and you can't stop me."

"Ah! N-no!"

* "Oh, your nipples seem pretty sensitive. I'll bet you'd be twice as responsive in other places."

"…!"

* "But I really am a nipple man. Dude or chick, I can't resist 'em."

"Wade, please…"

* "Oh? You want more already?"

"No! I want you to stop!"

* "Right, then why are you like this down here?"

"Th-that's…"

* "I thought so. Now shut up. This'll be good for both of us, unless you keep interrupting me. Then I'll make sure it's only good for me."

"…"

* "That's better."

"Ahh…"

* "I don't mind those noises, though."

"…"

* "Mmm, I love those cute little goosebumps. I wonder if I lick these, will I make more?"

"Ah! Hah…N-no! Ah! Deadpool!"

* "That's right, Spidey. Scream for me. I told you your nipples were sensitive."

"…!"

* "Oh, look down here! You've started leaking through your tighty whities."

"That's…because…huh ah…"

* "What? Because I'm just teasing you now? You want the real deal?"

"I-I don't know…"

* "You don't know?"

"…"

* "How can you not know?"

"I…I'm scared."

* "…!"

"…"

* "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just want you to feel good with me, yeah?"

"…yeah."

* "Ok then. I'll go a little slower."

"…! I thought you said you wouldn't take my mask off!"

* "Relax, I'm not. Just lifting it half way."

"Why?"

* "…wow. The more I see of you, the more I want you, Spidey. Your lips look so soft."

"Mmm! Mhmm…"

* "…"

"Ah! Mmm…"

* "See? Those are the noises every man wants to hear."

"…"

* "I don't think we'll need these now. After all, you did get 'em pretty wet."

"…!"

* "There. Woah, you're bigger than I thought. And just look at that ASS!"

"!"

* "This tight little hole…bet you're a virgin."

"Of course I am! Why else would I be scared, man?"

* "Touché. I'll be sure to be gentle."

"Uuuuuuhh…!"

* "I'll take my time'n stretch you out real good first."

"Ah, Wade!...Deadpool! I-ah! Did you add another finger? It… kinda burns."

* "Sorry, Spidey, Bear with it a bit longer."

"But it's really starting to hurt. How can guys actually want to do HOLY HELL!"

* "Found it."

"Oh, God! Hit that spot again!"

* "What, like this?"

"Oh, shit! Ah H-harder! Harder!"

* "What an eager little spider you've become, Webhead."

"D-don't call me that!"

* "Ok, then. Spidey?"

"No…Peter. My name's Peter."

* "Really? Alright…Peter."

"HaaaaAAAAH!"

* "…oh shit."

"I'm sorry! I don't know why I did that! But…well, the way you said my name just now…and…sorry!"

* "Haha, it's ok, Petey. It's not like I didn't want you to cum. But I didn't expect you to cum from just my fingers. That's really hot, man."

"…"

* "Makes me wanna just-"

"AAAHHH!"

* "-fuck you senseless."

"Oh my God! Why didn't you warn me! Gah, stop moving, you bastard!"

* "…"

"…"

* "…"

"Stop! I told you to wait!"

* "I happen to know you can withstand a lot more than the average person, so just let me fuck you already!"

"Owwwwaaaaah! Ha! Ah! Wade, sto-"

* "Shit you're tight, Pete."

"…"

* "What's wrong? You close again?"

"…"

* "Aw, c'mon now, don't pout. No, wait. Keep pouting. It's turnin' me on."

"Ah, ah, ah, ah! Sto-op, Wa-ade! Ha, ah, ah! Fuck!"

* "Those are mixed signals you're sending, Petey. Stop or fuck?"

"…"

* "I guess I'll just stop then…"

"No!"

* "No?"

"…no."

* "Bitchin."

"Gah, ah, ah, ah. Right there! Oh God!"

* "So vocal now. I like how you keep changing it up."

"Shut up and go faster!"

* "Can do."

"Oh, yeah! Uh, fuck, Wade! "

* "Uh, Pete. I'm almost there!"

"Don't you even think about cumming inside me, man!"

* "But now that you've said it, how can I NOT think about it. Oh God, that's so hot!"

"Ah! Wade! Pull out!"

* "Shit! Cumming!"

"Waaaaaade!"

* "Aahhhh! Pete!"

"…"

* "…"

"I told you not to cum inside."

* "Too bad. And you'd be lying if you said you didn't like it, Petey."

"…"

* "Aw, you're so cute. Let me just pull out here."

"Uhn!"

* "There we go."

"Oohhh Waaaaade?"

* "Yes, Webhead?"

"Seems like your little paralyzer's wearing off."

* "Ah, shit."

"Yep. And you know what I'm gonna do now?"

* "Initiate an epic battle for your honor, the likes of which no one has ever seen?"

"No. This."

* "Mmm!"

"…"

* "You…you kissed me."

"Yes, Captain Obvious, I did."

* "Why?"

"Because…round two. 3"


So? How'd you like it? Be sure to review. ;3