Lies

Prologue

I always try my best no matter what he tells me to do. It was new to me at first. I tried to convince myself that it was only because he was taking care of me. It's okay to feel like you love someone when they're acting as if they're your father, right? But even I knew that was a pathetic attempt to hide it. It may be unhealthy lying to myself—to others as well. But sometimes the truth is better to go unknown to even my diary.

Maybe it's his eyes. The icy-blue eyes that make you want to try to melt them before you start melting in their place. The feeling I get when he holds my wrist—which is obviously just him trying to get me to come somewhere or do something quicker because I'm not athletically inclined. The swelling in my heart when he comes to save me… That he would save me because he loves me—but that is a lie as well.

But it's too farfetched to even start to think he may return my feelings. For it's almost certain he's straight, and even if he was gay, who am I to think anyone would love the real me inside? The boisterous, laughing, happy me that always sticks out is not me at all. The real me lies deep inside me… cowering in a corner, afraid to be seen. The real me won't surface because it's so revolting anyone would run at the sight of me. Perhaps, I'm a bit happy… Perhaps I may be laughing or smiling… but most times I just was to get lost in my own world. Get lost and never return because all that everyone gets from me are lies, so why bother showing them something fabricated?


In case anyone is confused, it's Italy speaking about Germany. :3 I'll be continuing this~