Song Fic: Good Charlotte's: "The Day That I Died" Author: Isobelle Charlotte (Sneaks) Rating: G About: Patrick (yes, the boy who Patrick's Mother sings about) leaving his family behind.

"One day I woke, I woke up knowing today is the day I will die."

It's not ev'ry day dat ya waked up an' have dat feeling, knowing dat you's ain't gonna be 'round much longer. But ta-day, I's knew it was going ta be dat day. I got up an' did me normal reunite, though I's admit, it lacked emotion. It was like I's was a machine er something, er a trained dog. I's got up, washed me face, made me bed, an' den sat down wit me family foah breakfast. I's of course, ate in silence.

".went to the park and enjoyed it one last time."

It was me little sista who wanted me ta take 'er ta Central Park. Looking down at 'er, I's couldn't say no. She has dose cute little blond coils, an' dose baby blues. Sometimes I's wonder if she really belonged ta me faddah. If dat's why he left. She's da only one in da family wit dose blond coils, da rest of us have brown hair wit a reddish tint.

" Please, please can we's go ta da park?" she begged me, looking at me mudda. Me mudda of course gave me dat look, like 'Ya'd betta take 'er,' so I's did. I's figured I's could at least enjoy da park one last time wit me sista. Plus, da park is so pretty in autumn, wit da leaves toining colors. Da reds an' da yellows, it's like dey's on fire. Dey's both alive, but in da same way, dead. Da way I's felt: Alive, an' dead, all at da same time.

"I called mother told her I loved her, and I begged her not to cry. I wrote a letter said I would miss and I signed that good-bye."

I called my mudda in when I's come home. I told 'er dat I loved her, and she started ta cry. I's da one dat reminds 're of me faddah.

"It's just dat, ya remind me so much of 'im, an' I's wish dat he was here ta tell me he loved me," she cried. I's begged 'er not ta, but of course, she kept on crying. Dat's why I's went on da roof, ta get away from da crying. But dare was a'nutter reason, I's had ta tell 'er why I's was going too go, but I's needed ta do dat on papah. You's see, papah is da best thing I's have, ta get me real emotions out, an' explain me self. So, I's wrote da lettah, da best I's could, den I's signed dat good-bye to 'er. My good-bye.

"You know the happiest day of my life. I swear the happiest day of my life, is the day that I died. Can you feel the cold tonight? It sets in but it's all right, darkness falls I'm letting go. All alone but I feel fine."

When I's finished da lettah, I's couldn't help but smile ta me self. It was a happy day foah me. I's was gonna get away from ev'ry thing. It was odd, as I's sat dare, wit the cool autumn breeze picking up, an' da sky being set on fire from da sunset, smiling ta me self. It eased me mind some, ta know dat soon, I's wasn't gonna be a burden no more. Sure, I's was sitting on me roof alone, but I's didn't feel like it. I's felt dat I was gonna gain da woild, an' in a way, I's was.

".Long conversations we talked of old friends and things we did. Summer nights, drunken fights, mistakes me made. Did we live it right?"

Me older brudda came out ta talk wit me. He's da one dat's been trying ta keep me family going, since me faddah left. He sat next ta me, foist real quiet, just watching da sunset wit me. Den, we started ta talk. We's had a long conversation, an' we's talked of old friends from Ireland. We's talked 'bout lots of things we'd done. From summer nights, ta da drunken fights me faddah would have afta coming home from da pub. Den, we's had ta wonder ta ourselves, if da mistakes we've made, if da was what drove 'im away. Da fact dat dare were four of us, an' dat we's was always getting' in-ta trouble, we's have always felt like Fuddah leaving was some how connected ta us.

" Da ya think we's lived it right?" me brudda suddenly asked. I's didn't know what ta say. I's wasn't sure. I's felt bad foah him, always busting his butt ta get us something, an' in da end, not getting much, an' nevah anything foah himself. I sighed an' looked 'round. I's felt da same way, wondering if we-if I's lived it right.

"You know the happiest day of my life. I swear the happiest day of my life, is the day that I died. Can you feel the cold tonight? It sets in but it's all right, darkness falls I'm letting go. All alone but I feel just fine."

It was dat night, afta me brudda an' I's conversation dat I's left. I's snuck out, wit-out dem noticing. I's left da lettah on me bed, next ta me youngah brudda. He didn't feel me get out of da bed. He didn't hear me when I's opened da window, dough he shivered slightly from da cold air dat came in. I's shut da window carefully an' stood on da fire escape, smiling. I's was happy, 'cause ta me, I's was dead now, but still alive ta be someone new. Ta start ovah, ta make me self a future, an' not bring me family down wit me. Now I's was gonna be dead ta dem. Even dough I's alone den because I's let go of me family, I's felt fine, because in da cold, dark night, I's knew dat I's was betta off. Sure it's a big woild out dare, but I's got a lot ta gain from it. I's knew dat I would meet new friends, an' dat, I's wouldn't hafta worry 'bout hearing me mudda cry in da middle of da night, or watch as me younger siblings had nuttin' ta eat, an' me oldah brudda working himself ta da bone ta try ta give dem something ta eat.

"Did I live it right, I hope I lived right, I know I lived it right."

I's think of me brudda's question ta me on da roof ev'ry now an' again. "Did we's live it right?" I's like ta think so. I's like ta think dat da time we's had ta-getha, befoah me faddah left, dat we's had it good, even if it was foah a little. I's have no big regrets foah leaving. I's know now dat dey don't hafta worry 'bout a'nutter mouth ta feed. I's know dat its da only way-- dat it was da right thing. At least. I's hope so. But I's ain't gonna look back, I's can't look back. Ya see, foah da foist time in me life, I's real happy. I's happy knowing dat me old life is ovah, an' dat enough foah me. I's ain't gonna dwell on da past foah-evah. It's ain't da thing ta do. You's ask any street rat out dare, dey's tell ya da same thing. Dat da happiest day of you's life is when ya start looking out foah ya-self. Dat's what we's tell ourselves anyway, ta comfort da heart, an' da mind. Sure it doesn't help all da time.but I's like ta pretend it does.