Disclaimer: I do not own the Winchesters or anything else pertaining to the series.

A.N: I don't know that this turned out the way I wanted, but this is based on the last scene of the eppie where Dean tells Sam that the reason he changed his mind is cause he looked over and thought this son of a ****** brought me here. And from there it sparked this. This is broken into two chapters. The first is in Sam's Pov, the second is Dean's pov.

Summary: Tag to 5x18- Point of No Return. What went on in the Winchester's minds during and leading up to the time that Dean said yes?


Castiel and Bobby warned me not to take Dean with us to get Adam. They said it was a bad idea.

Perhaps that is so.

But, I have to believe in something in this crazy world.

And I choose to believe in the strength and goodness of my big brother.

He told me he would say yes, even if that this was a trap or not. He told me point blank, hiding nothing.

See, big brother even in your screwed up thinking right now, you still have the goodness not to be deceiving; to not decieve me.

To some that is nothing but to me that is everything. I'll read and take comfort out of anything I can get.

I was determined that he would make the right call when push came to shove. He always did. He wouldn't say yes.

To some that is a fool's belief…..but still it is belief.

I choose to believe….regardless of what others say.

They all can sink and rot for all I care.

He asks why am I doing this?

Does he really have to ask? Surely the answer is as laid out as a page of a book.

I shrug…

Because..... you are my big brother, is my answer.

And to me it is that simple.


Zachariah flings me into a wall. I lost count the number of times this has happened to me in my life.

Dean calls my name.

Is there some concern in there? It seems so long since he called my name like that and despite circumstances it is a small comfort.

I am trying to get myself together but before I can I feel my blood welling up in my thoart and pouring out of my mouth. I am following the conversation as much as I can while hemorrhaging.

You're finally ready, right? Zachariah asks my brother.

I wheeze. Dean does not answer. That concerns me. Then I hear Dean plead for that angel to stop.

Zachariah says something about no choice or whatever. It's the same song sung.

Dean, can't you see that these angels are pitching you a pack of lies. Can't you see where this is going? I am trying to regather my strength.

Alright, I'll do it.

I stop and look at him, trying to process his words. No, no…he wouldn't…

I am trying to prop myself up to get a good look at this scene. Trying to comprehend this absurdity.

Then Dean's voice is clearer, stronger, full of certainty.

Okay, yes. I say yes. Do you hear me? So call Michael down you ******.

I huffed throught my bloodied mouth.

Something within me began to snap.

My faith in Dean….

My big brother….

You would do this......even against me?

Somehow despite everything…..even though I had no right in my opinion, I felt betrayed. I lowered my glaze, unable to look at Dean.

Betrayed by my big brother.....

.

.

.

.

And it was the worse feeling in the world.

And suddenly the hemorrhaging didn't even bother me anymore. I shut my eyes as my stomach clenched for a different reason.

Even Zachariah has his doubts.

Does it look like I'm lying? Dean asks.

Big brother, I read your eyes clearly and they hold no lie.

I hear chanting. I look back up, needing to see this. If it would end this way, I would see this. I would remember. I look at Dean, staring at him. Pleading.

Why?

Why?

Just tell me why?

We could have done so much if only you wouldn't have done this!

We could have tried and went out fighting if we had to!

It didn't have to end this way!

Slowly he looks at me, flinching as he did so.

You know you betrayed me, betrayed yourself!

I see you see this. I know that some part of you have to know this.

I look away, faking that it was the hemorrhaging, to hide the pain that I truly felt. I wanted to cry, and hit something or someone.

Yet still, I look back, compelled to look. To see this man that by brother had become.

.

.

.

I was wrong.

I had been wrong.

I look away again, needing to hide that pain as that thought hit me like a ton of bricks.

I had been wrong for the last several weeks.

I had hoped…..

But my hope was crushed.

Broken into millions of pieces.

No way to put it together….only my big brother, would be able to put it together if he so desired.

But he didn't.

He would do this and doom us all.

I could not fight this without him.

I knew, I too would fall sooner or later.

I look back at this man, I knew not any longer. He was just looking at me.

I can no longer read your eyes.

The room began to rumble as my spirit does as well. I look at Dean and…..slowly he begins to smile.

I am confused.

He winks at me.

A so Dean like thing to do. His face for a moment becomes the Dean of old that I knew.

This makes me twice as confused as he turns and begins to lay out his conditions for this deal.

Okay, whoever you are, I do not understand.

But as he keeps talking, something began to click within me. He walks forward still taking, making Zachariah sweat. Said angel grabs his collar threatened by his words and I see the gleam behind Dean's back and suddenly a great light appears as Dean kills Zachariah.

He is dead, just at the room began to shake more.

And thoughts race through my head as we managed to escape the room. Dean didn't become Michael. He helped me escape and tried to help Adam. I look into his eyes, trying to console myself. Trying to find something to give myself the reassurance I desperately needed.

He looks at me and I see Dean.

I mean.....really......Dean.

Not whole.

Not complete.

Not yet.

But still….Dean.

My hope had been restored, the pieces slowly being glued back together. The betrayal not fully developed. The weight that threatened to choke me was lifting.

Faith in my big brother is re-establish as my big brother seemed to slowly began to swim out of the sea in his soul.

He was trying. He would try. This I could see. I do not know what went through his head. I do not know what made him change his mind. Perhaps sometime I shall ask, but for now it's enough that he is slowly coming back.

I could see my big brother on the horizon.

And it was enough for me.

TBC.