This is my second Meredith and Derek fan fiction story, my other one is very "bright and shiny" and I wanted to try something different. The entire first chapter is a flashback because the rest is set farther in the future. The chapter one flashback is what happened the night after Derek chose Addison and then chapter two will pick up five months later. Italics in the story will be flashbacks or song lyrics because I have chosen to name each chapter after a song, or lyrics of a song.
Chapter One: Where Did I Go Wrong?
She pulled the car into the driveway and walked into the house. Everything felt different when she walked in. She went upstairs and into her bedroom. She ripped the sheets off the bed and threw them in the hall. She could barely look at that bed without crying again. The bed she once shared with the man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. She walked around the room and found a bag that was full of his things. She placed it on the bed and opened it. All that it held were clothes and toiletries of his. She was fine, until she pulled out one shirt, a shirt that she knew too well. She tried to fight back the tears but it was too hard, they poured down her face like a Seattle rainstorm. She put the shirt close to her face, it smelt like him. The red material felt like his soft hair, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't think. Her mind was infected with images of him, with the words that he once said. The words she once said. "How stupid could I be?" she thought to herself. "What kind of pathetic woman begs a man to want her" Then, for a brief moment, her mind was cleared of him, and she had an idea. She took out a suitcase and started to pack up her things. The suitcase contained mostly her clothing; she didn't want to take anything else. She would leave the house, the furniture, everything for her roommates. She didn't want her problems to affect them. She wound up throwing in his red shirt, she didn't know why but she did. She called an airline and booked a ticket. She had one more hour left in this house before she would leave Seattle forever. She took out paper and a pen and began writing letters. First one to George and Izzie, then one to Cristina, then one to her mother, one to her Chief of surgery explaining why she had to leave, to drop out. The last one was the hardest; she took the pen to the paper and slowly wrote his name, D-e-r… then the tears came down once again. She managed to keep going, she wrote his letter, tears pouring down her face. When she was done she lifted it up to read it.
Derek,
I don't even really know why I think you are important enough to get a letter from me, but for some reason I think you still care enough to know. I am leaving Seattle. Only one person knows where I am going and I won't tell you who, because I don't want you to come looking for me, or trying to call me, because you had a choice to make, and your decision has left me feeling broken and empty inside. Please try and understand that I can't be here. I can't see you every day with her. I can't be here, not anymore. I am sorry, but this is just something that I have to do, just like choosing her was something you had to do. I hope she makes you happy, and you feel as though you have made the right choice, because I am not coming back. As hard as it is to think I am never going to see you again, it is harder for me to see you with her, because I love you. Goodbye Derek.
Meredith.
She was as satisfied as she was going to be with it. She left the letters sitting on her bare bed, rolled her suitcase down the stairs, got in her car and drove away. Leaving the city, her job, her family, and her broken life behind forever, or that was what she thought.
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known
How to save a life
