Father and Daughter

By: Riley

Summary – Harrison realizes what it truly means to be a father. Companion piece to Flash Fire and up to chapter 12 of Crossfire.


Did anyone truly know what it was like to be a father?

Was there ever a time to truly be prepared for it?

As soon as the test came back positive changes had to be made almost instantly. The mother had to think about what she would eat or drink to help the baby, the sorts of practices that would ease her mind and body, whether or not she was going to take time off work. Not to mention the more emotional thoughts that had to be pandered to—whether or not to have the baby at all and the repercussions of that decision. Whether or not to take the permanent route that brought upon numerous harsh opinions and slander or the route that aided another family in the process.

How was anyone to make those decisions?

With a lot of thought and realistic thinking into the sort of life the baby would have. What sort of life would Harrison Wells and his wife Tess—who still went by her professional name Tess Morgan in the science world—be able to bring their baby? How would their careers that consistently placed them amongst harsh, dangerous chemicals and experiments continue with a baby, not to mention the time spent doing countless hours of research upon their experiments, traveling to conventions, and everything in between. How was that to be juggled along with the creation and startup of their own laboratories?

That was the dream.

A baby didn't necessarily fit in that plan.

Still, it was a dream. Harrison couldn't count how many times they would be talking about their plans and Tess would let out a wistful sigh and bring up the question. What if? What if they were currently pregnant? What if they had a baby? And the two would entertain themselves about the kind of parents they would be, how they would provide for their baby, love it as much as they could. They'd entertain themselves son baby names whether or not it was a boy or girl, with Harrison quickly putting down a veto to naming it after one of Tess's parents because she was the one with the 'normal name' in the family. To which Tess would then reply that she would not ever name any of her kids as a 'junior' to him. They'd picture the house the three of them would live in, in the suburbs of Starling or Central City depending on where they decided to set up the labs, what sorts of values and morals they'd instill upon him or her, and the disciplining practices they'd need when their baby struck the 'terrible twos'.

Tess even went as far as to get baby books and when Harrison gave her a raised eyebrow at her selection of literature, she flashed him a charming smile and continued to read. It didn't hurt to be prepared. The irony wasn't lost on him—though it took him a while later to realize that—that he didn't practice what he preached.

It had been such a surprise, a sweet and unexpected surprise when Tess had come to him waving a pregnancy test in his face. As smart as he was, Harrison stared dumbfounded at the two lines pink lines running across the little window his brain not connecting the dots.

He was smart, but in that moment he was incredibly dumb and couldn't wrap his head around it. Then he looked up at the smile illuminating, infectious smile that had made him fall in love with Tess in the first place and he understood. They were going to have a baby.

Their excitement was moderately short lived.

The first few checkups came with bright smiles and the sense of excitement only new, expecting parents could give. Then their reality set in and they had to come to the very tough and hurtful decision to give their baby up for adoption. It was the best thing, the best life their baby could be given, to the people they knew would be the best parents—Kent and Maya Nash whom Harrison and Tess had met through their means of starting STAR Labs and needing a good marketing plan.

When Tess was in the delivery room giving birth to their baby girl—who they named Cadence after their shared love of classical music—Harrison was at her side, gently holding onto her hand and coaching her every step of the way. He cringed through the sharp pain that shot through his hands knowing it would all be worth it at the end. And it was. When he laid eyes on his beautiful bundle of joy he could see a little bit of both of them in her face, a perfect mixture that blended their family together before it was ripped apart.

He and Tess were able to hold their baby for only a few minutes before their bundle of joy was handed over to their best friends who were going to take her home. And they'd go home with nothing; all that work for nothing. Well, he supposed that wasn't entirely true, it was an open adoption and they were allowed to go see her as much as they wanted. But it wasn't the same; their lives became filled with working towards the opening of STAR Labs. That wasn't the kind of life that would work around taking care of a baby, they reminded themselves of that. Harrison whispered it to Tess every time he would wake up to the soft tears she tried to hide from him. She didn't know he hid his tears, too.

And so they stood off to the side as their baby grew up, respecting their friend's wishes not to tell Cadence she was adopted until they thought it was the best time. And it was hard.

When she said her first word, 'Yay', followed shortly by 'Mama', and 'Dada' they weren't there to witness it in person. When she first started walking they weren't there to see it, but they were there to see the few times she wobbled, holding herself up by the corner of the table, or couch. Every now and then she would use their hands or knees to hold herself up and the beaming smile she would turn towards him and Tess would make their hearts melt before freezing again with the realization it wasn't solely for them.

When she was four and started pre-school they got pictures in the mail rather than being allowed to go and see her off for her first day. It wasn't until she started first grade that they were allowed to attend her first day, even getting pictures for themselves. By then they were known as 'Mommy's and Daddy's friends Harrison and Tess'. Still not known as her parents.

And they continued to watch and be a part of Cadence's life as much as they could despite not being able to be parents. In third grade when she got the lead in the play they were in the front row of the audience, in fourth grade when she joined a mini cheerleading team they were there for her first competition as well as for her soccer games and science fairs. But they couldn't be there for the parent teacher conferences or be included if she ever did something wrong at school.

How was he to be the best father to her? Sit back and continue to pretend that he wasn't really part of her life when he was? To continue pretending that he was just a family friend and had no rights to everything he wanted to do. They could take her out for ice cream trips when the picked her up from school when Kent and Maya had to stay late at work, but they couldn't be the ones to teach her how to ride a bike, how to fix up scraped knees and bruised knuckles, how to multiply and divide, how the solar system worked, or what the civil war meant.

At eight years old she had gotten sick and landed herself in the hospital with a high fever and he and Tess sat in the waiting room as anxious as Kent and Maya were. His knees bobbed up and down and Tess continued to sigh heavily, fidgeting with her hair, her free hand looped through the crook of his elbow and holding tightly to him, shaking. Every time the doctor came out the news of their daughter—sorry, Kent's and Maya's daughter—wouldn't get better but it wouldn't get worse. He couldn't sit back and watch as they didn't know what they were doing. He went to see her himself, and wasn't it a surprise to the doctors when they saw she was doing much better after he visited her. Tess's hands finally stopped shaking with anxiety and then shook with happiness.

And he had done that. She got better after he had some time to whisper encouragingly to her; despite not knowing if she could hear him. Still, it worked. He knew it would.

When she was in Middle School and started to grow up into a young woman that became interested in the opposite sex Harrison felt that familiar twinge that every father felt. The fear of losing their daughter to a guy that wasn't going to treat them the way they should be treated. A guy that would more than likely treat them as an object than a person. And he had to battle those feelings alone. Tess was gone and he found himself in a dark tunnel of despair with no light at the end other than the few times he was able to see Cadence. But that still sucked the life out of him, seeing what he couldn't have. He drove himself into his work, doing his best to keep his mind off his home, his laughably empty home. Yes, he had things, he had the grand piano he dreamed about for years, he had the expensive paintings and a collection of classical music on vinyl that would make even Beethoven cry. And still it was empty.

When he heard she became pregnant at only sixteen years old there was a part of him that was angry and disappointed and worried for her and yet he continued to push himself into his work. It wasn't his business was it? He wasn't really her father. Tess wasn't really her mother. He wasn't really the one that was supposed to deal with it, his visits reduced to speaking on the phone ever now and then. And he focused on STAR Labs bringing in some of the biggest and brightest minds he could ever work with to make sure his dreams were able to be realized in Central City. It had all come in a whirlwind, his success coming along faster and faster than he had anticipated before it all came crashing down with the Particle Accelerator explosion.

He didn't expect the explosion to bring in anything but destruction. It did more than that. It brought him Barry Allen, probably one of his biggest achievements that he wasn't allowed to tell anyone else. He created the best thing alive to save Central City from its constant threats.

But he was brought something else. He was brought his daughter once more, with his grandson in tow. Working that closely with her, he felt his fatherly side come out in many different ways before he could stop himself. He had been trained to hold himself back but with their work with metahumans it was impossible to not fear for her safety. He corrected her language when a curse came flying out of her mouth, he gave her the advice that only a father would give when she was hesitant about her abilities, he did everything he could behind the scenes.

Then she had gotten whammied by BIvolo and he had to watch her lie in a coma in STAR Labs, once again plagued by a fever created with her own powers working against her. And he had saved her then like he had done when she was eight years old. Sixteen years later and he was still saving her life, looking out for her as he should have been able to all those years ago, feeling tugs in his heartstrings as he watched Cadence interact with her son, Brady, in the ways he wasn't allowed to. When she found out about his true parentage she expressed anger towards him but once he told his story her heart melted a little, reminding him very much of Tess in the expression and he wondered how different things would've become if Tess were still alive to see them.

It seemed thing in his life worked in a pattern; he had to lose something he loved to regain something else he loved.

It all came to a head that Christmas, a holiday he grew to hate and became used to spending alone. He became engrossed in the classical music that swirled around him when his doorbell rang. Answering it he was surprised to find Cadence and Brady standing on his doorstep with gifts in their hands.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" Harrison asked as he let them inside.

"It's Christmas," Brady said earnestly, reminding him very much of his mother when she was young. "No one needs to be alone on Christmas. Not even scary hermit men." Harrison smiled a little at the moniker that had been bestowed upon him during his grandson's field trip to the CCPD.

"I told him to stop calling you that," Cadence said with a light shake of her head, apologetic look in her eyes that were a mixture of his and his late wife's. "I guess he's not really used to knowing who you really are."

"I don't think any of us are to be honest," Harrison pointed out. He led them to the living room and hesitated before reaching under the couch to pick up his own gift for his daughter and grandson. "Great minds think alike."

"They should," Cadence said. "I've heard a lot about how smart you and Tess are." She gave a half smile. "I'm surrounded by a group of extremely smart people, how come I didn't get your smarts."

"You do, they just showed up in a different way," Harrison said to her. He watched as Brady sat on the couch beside him, busy with a video game on his cell phone, unsure of the tension around them. "I don't know anyone else that could take care of a baby all on their own. You got that determination from your mother."

"What'd I get from you?"

Harrison was stumped by the question. He dreamed and wondered to spend enough time with his daughter to know what she inherited from him. So he watched her and kept tabs on her much longer than she possibly knew and he wasn't sure. He saw Tess in her everyday but didn't see himself as easily. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it was what he needed to figure out. Just as he needed to figure out how to be a father to her now, and a grandfather all the same.

He had so much time to figure it out and this time she chose to be around him. He had a choice.

And he chose to figure out how to be the best father he could be no matter how much time had passed.


THE END