CJzilla bellows on the horizon as throngs of screaming people flee in all directions.

Greetings my fellow Fanfiction Land monsters. The name's CJzilla and I've come with a fiction. Unique, maybe. I'll let the reviews tell me. This fiction I affectionately call La Lune, which is Spanish for "the Moon". Since water is greatly affected by the moon's push and pull, I thought it'd make things a little more interesting. This is my first WITCH fiction. Weird.

As I chew on a train full of screaming people, alls CJzilla has to growl is this: R&R. Enjoy you motherhopers! Flame or fluff me! I dare you!

Disclaimer: CJzilla does not own anything of WITCH or anything of Disney's. I do own your reviews.


La Lune

It was her turn to spend the night with the queen, not that the water guardian minded.

Since that desperate attempt on Queen Elyon's life by her jealous brother Phobos, the queen made sure at least one guardian was in the palace while she slept. And guess who picked the short straw tonight…

But tonight, that short straw felt more like a lifeline. Sure, she had to lie about staying with a friend, but just anything to get away from her house. Home was closing in on her fast, and if she had to watch another boring movie or her little brother follow her everywhere… she'd get her freak on.

Irma Lair a.k.a. the Water Guardian wandered through the Elyon's palace, without a true purpose as to her rambling. She had just seen the queen to her bed, tucked her in so to speak, with a goodnight joke. But now that the teenage queen of Meridian was asleep for the night, Irma was left alone. Her heeled shoes clicked on the granite floors as she moseyed through a hall.

Irma's mind paged through her to-do list. She had brought tomorrow's algebra homework to Meridian, but what made her think it'd be more appealing here than at home? With homework saved for the last minute, like always, Irma went to the next thing on her timetable.

"Huh…" Irma mused out loud. "I thought I wouldn't be bored this fast."

It was true. She was bored… in record time! Why was she so indecisive?

Irma then looked up.

Suits of enchanted armor lined on either side of the hall, making her imagination wander. She found herself in a place she had not visited in years. Her mind began to set her perfect daydream together.

Irma imagined that she was dancing in a candlelit room, wrapped in the arms of HER knight in shining armor. Dancing to a melodious waltz in the decorative ballroom of a castle, her prince held her close as they swayed to the music. Irma imagined she was wearing a lavish dress that was so beautiful, it would make the best dressed green with envy. The whole ballroom, though full of guests, emptied, leaving just her and her knight to dance out their love. As this dreamscape played and her knight spun her in his strong arms, Irma strained to create a face for her prince.

But Irma caught herself, tripping in doing so. Cocking an eyebrow, she wondered why she was picturing a forgotten fantasy world. It's like she wasn't surrounded by a beautiful world now, so why could she want something more than reality?

A nearby window held the answer.

Meridian had a blue moon, but a moon nonetheless and tonight it was full.

Realization struck Irma, making her mouth open a bit. But as quick as reality set in, she frowned.

"Stupid moon," she hissed, passing the window like she was ignoring the night-sphere.

Irma growled again as she walked faster down that hall.

The moon always had an effect on her, whether it be on Meridian or back home on earth. Irma never acknowledged the moon like she did now. It wasn't too long ago on a full moon night that Will and Taranee pointed out that she was different, a bad different. They implied major mood-swings. And by a fluke but coincidentally, the next day in school Irma's science teacher commented on the moon's influence on bodies of water.

Irma was the WATER Guardian of the Guardians of Meridian. Since then, the usually humorous Irma Lair took somber note of the moon's pull upon her.

So now Irma knew the moon would influence her emotions and disposition. That's why she was so fickle and thus caused her pointless drifting in the palace's walls. And why she was trying so hard to pin an identity to her knight in shining armor. Irma didn't want to return to her bogus fantasy world, but she couldn't help thinking about her fantasy man.

But with every boy face she placed on her guy's head, nothing sent a smile to her face or warmth to her heart. Now she was getting really annoyed with herself. Not only was she retreating to some fake world, she was trying to piece together her ideal man.

"I can't be that desperate," Irma grumbled to herself, reminded once again that she was boyfriend-less.

A boyfriend won't hurt, but boys didn't mix very well with being a Guardian of Meridian.

She's heard the ploy about having some supernatural power and the responsibility that comes with it. Comic book superheroes have Irma's same dilemma. Either go without a boyfriend or get one, only to break his heart in the end.

It made her want to gag. But, at least for tonight, Irma could blame Meridian's beautiful full moon for her lack of… personal normality.

With a turn on her heel, Irma headed for the dungeon.

The dungeon gates were quiet for this time of night; usually the lawless ritualistically had a fit before going to bed. Tonight was different though. Tonight the full moon shown through the skylight, shining down upon the dark prison and lighting the expanse. Even the guards who kept strict watch allowed themselves to sit under the glow of the night-star. But they stood when they saw the water guardian approach.

"So are you guys normal tonight?" Irma smiled as she neared a pair of guards who manned the dungeon gates. "None of that otherworldly determination to keep the scum in their cells?"

The guards' faces remained straight and serious.

"Even our legs get tired from standing ma'am," the older guard spoke to the much, much younger Irma.

"It was a joke guys," Irma commented. "No need for getting proper. As you were."

They hit their heels together in salute and stood at attention. Irma sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Open the gates boys," she instructed. "I'd like to annoy the prisoners."

The nearest guard to the gate controls flipped the toggle and the gate lifted.

The gateway was the biggest grievance in Meridian, excusing Phobos and Frost of course. That dungeon gate made such a terrible screeching sound that Irma wondered why the dead hadn't awakened to wreak their vengeance upon her for opening the ear-sore. Another bad part about that was EVERYONE knew someone had entered the cell area of the dungeon. All eyes were on the entrance.

Irma took to her wings and fluttered into the dungeon area.

"Hello my freaky, not-so-law-abiding cell fillers," she called out and then laughed at her own joke.

She flew to the higher levels, where the more dangerous prisoners were kept. It was a habit that Irma greet his not-on-his-throness, prince Phobos.

"Phobos, your royal pain," Irma landed on a level, just in front of Phobos' cell. "How's the accommodations tonight? I hope you and your ego aren't too crowded in there."

Out of the shadows came the angry looking Phobos, a hateful scowl over his face with her presence.

"You do best to make my stay more comfortable guardian," Phobos hissed. "Because I'm not the forgiving type."

Irma laughed.

"If I was to make you anymore comfortable Phobos," she returned, "then what are the other cell-warmers gonna think?"

Phobos gritted his teeth.

"Come closer and say that you little wart!" he spat.

The insults just come naturally around the prince.

"I'm way passed my comfort level here Phobos," Irma smiled, "your breath won't let me come closer."

She swatted the air around her nose like she was clearing the air of a foul smell.

Phobos growled and lunged at the water guardian, but the magical cell bars reminded him that they were there. The dark prince cried out in pain when his body was pumped full of electricity and he fell back on his butt.

Irma laughed.

"Do that again!" she laughed. "I loved the look on your face!"

Irma doubled over in stitches.

"When I get out of here guardian-!" Phobos snarled. "I'm going to take so much pleasure in torturing you just as you have me!"

"You mean telling you bad jokes and insulting your intelligence?" Irma voiced, and then giggled. "I'm not ticklish."

Phobos gnarled again.

"I'm not one to tickle!" he blasted.

"Whatever royal pain," Irma crossed her arms in a show of defiance. "And when that day comes, I'm sure Cornelia will admit she's not a real blond."

Irma laughed at her own joke again.

"I'm not losing sleep over you Phobos," the water guardian scrunched her nose at him. "Without your Lord Cedric, Frost or any of your other lackeys, you will just be another spoiledroyal pain, pouting because you got caught."

Irma took to the air again and flew to another level. A level below Phobos was most of his lackeys, including Gargoyle.

"Comfortable my ugly mother-hopers?" Irma jeered to the nearest to her, being Gargoyle.

Gargoyle let out a snarl full of pure hatred, but didn't come close to the bars.

"Good!" she cheered. "I'll be sure to send some chocolate and Midol for the attitude problems."

Irma laughed and flew to yet another level. The last level and cell probably closest to the gate was that of a villain that made even her blood wanna freeze.

Lord Cedric. The half-snake, half-man shape-shifter. Phobos' right hand man, for a reasonable time, Lord Cedric got close enough to the Guardians to take their lives. That thought made Irma's hair stand on end.

Lord Cedric, in another form, actually got close enough to smite each one of the guardians, including her.

"Lord Migraine?" Irma called into his cell, but her joke not even making herself smile. "You still in there?"

After a moment of silence, Irma heard footsteps from deep within the cell. When Lord Cedric entered the moonlight, he was in the form Irma hated the most. The form of an attractive blond, bombshell of a boy, a form Cedric actually favored and was in most of the time.

"How's my favorite snaky shape-shifter?" Irma scowled.

Lord Cedric grinned at her as she fluttered a distance away from his cell.

"Ahhh… Irma Lair," he sighed, unnerving her further. "Such a pleasure to see you again. I have to say, I look forward to your turn watching over Queen Elyon over all the otherguardians."

Then a sly, yet cute smirk came on his face.

"Including the earth guardian Cornelia," Lord Cedric added.

Cornelia… the girl every girl wants to be and every guy wants to be with. The girl that Irma was not and she could never measure up to.

"I'm pretty sure I'm insulted now Cedric," Irma's scowl deepened.

That smirk on his face never went away.

"Oh don't be my little cupcake," Cedric stated coming closer to the bars. "It was meant as a compliment."

Through her scoff, Irma accidentally let a flattered giggle out. She prayed Cedric didn't catch it.

"My, my. Someone's in a good mood," she quickly corrected. "I'll have to fix that."

Cedric grinned at her.

"Forgive me," he voiced, apologizing like he was being evil. "It's the moon. When the blue moon becomes full, I start acting strange. It has an unfortunate effect on me. I become lessevil."

Irma smirked bitterly, but fluttered closer.

"It's a start," she told him landing on the floor. "Now get a haircut and a real job and I'll consider letting you off for good behavior."

Lord Cedric gave her a toothy smile. Irma was almost taken in by his charm, but once she saw his forked tongue flick the air, she was dropped back down to earth.

"So Irma," Lord Cedric began gesturing like he was happy to see her, "this is the fourth occasion that you have baby-sat the queen, in a month…"

He paused.

Irma was really not enjoying his tone, yet she grew closer.

"And the fifth instance in which you have wandered down to the dungeon," he added before smiling slyly again. "Found something worth your time in these darkened halls?"

Like she was going to tell Lord Cedric she enjoyed herself down here, especially when she could tease him.

"I merely love annoying those who were not quite skilled or smart enough to take over Meridian," Irma answered.

She laughed when Cedric's face went straight. Irma was surprised yet entertained that Cedric was frowning deeply, maybe she go as far as to say he looked disappointed.

"What?" Irma inquired with a smile. "Too nicely put? How 'bout… 'Good but not good enough'?"

Cedric shook his head and managed a small grin.

"Such words would insult Phobos Irma," he spoke. "Not me."

Ooohh!

Just when she thought she had his goat. Now it was her turn to look disappointed.

"It seems I am not the only one at the mercy of la Lune," Irma heard Cedric point out.

The water guardian cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Loon?" Irma repeated. "What are you talking about Cedric?"

"Lune my dear," the shape-shifter corrected. "La Lune means the moon. The earthen Spanish language is a lonely and romantic one isn't it?"

Irma's throat tightened at the mention of the "romantic" part. Best change the subject.

"What makes you think I am responsible to the big cheese wheel in the sky?" Irma asked like he was stupid as she crossed her arms but pointed to the skylight.

Cedric smiled at her.

"While I worked as a spy and came to earth," he began, "I found something we have in common Irma. A weakness so to speak. As much as you want to deny it, you are under themanipulation of the moon. Not only does it increase your powers, but it increases your anger."

Irma gave a moment thought to what he said before turning the tables.

"And you Lord Cedric?" she commented. "You become more… tolerable and inclined to the nice guy act?"

Cedric beamed when she said tolerable.

"It was a chink in my armor that Phobos didn't approve of," he returned. "It actually frightened him to know that I was prone to the Light when the moon was full."

Irma shook her head and looked up. She was shocked to see how close she had drawn to Cedric's cell.

"Well, a couple nights with a good boy attitude does not make me eager to let you out on parole Cedric," she returned.

"Why not as someone closer to you?" Lord Cedric inquired. "Some one to talk to? It gets very vexatious down here without the light of day."

Irma turned on her heel, walked a couple steps away before gracefully spinning to face him.

"You brought that on yourself Cedric," Irma grinned. "And let's not forget your forked tongue and all the days of the year the moon is NOT full."

Irma stuck out her tongue to show the difference between hers and his. But Cedric grinned at her.

"Then just grace me with your presence Irma," he voiced, a tint of red hitting his face. "You are the brightest thing down here and you bring me a glimmer of hope through the darkness."

Irma had to admit, even for a shape-shifting, fork-tongued, evil snake-man… that was a very sweet thing to say.

"Why try to become a friend from behind bars Cedric?" she asked. "Why not before?"

Lord Cedric stood straight and looked her hard in the eyes. Then he motioned for her to near. With her common sense screaming in her ears but her curiosity wailing louder, Irma fluttered closer. Cedric's lips parted to a smile, not a conniving smile, but one of excitement at her nearness.

Now within arms' reach and over her comfort zone, Irma raised her eyebrows expectantly at the shape-shifter.

"There were many times I could have ended the guardianship of you and your friends Irma," he spoke softly, his eyes glittering with moonlight. "But I never did, despite Phobos'sorders."

Cedric drew closer to the bars and further into the moonlight. Irma saw his skin looked so warm and his eyes held a kindness to her.

"The times I had your lives in my fists I could have easily ended the Guardians," he made a fist with his hand as if crushing an unseen bug. "Yet, you stand before me Irma. That has tomean something to you."

Irma admitted herself that Lord Cedric had many opportunities to end them all, yet he never took the initiative to smite them.

"I figured you were just another bumbling henchman that could never get his act straight," Irma raised an eyebrow, being honest with him.

Cedric smirked and let a snicker go.

"Had you and Phobos fooled didn't I?" he whispered, his eyes breaking from hers to Phobos's cell. "The point is my little nymph… I could have but never did."

Irma knew that to be right.

"Well…" she began, thinking of what to say. "Then maybe Queen Elyon will lessen your sentence, had she known… your actions."

Disappointment surfaced on Cedric's face. His eyes turned to sad pools of blue as he looked at her.

"I guess it does count for something in my book," Irma said quietly, then shrugged. "But… forgive me for not trusting you."

Cedric gave her a cocky smile.

"I wouldn't even trust me," he told her. "Tis wise and the guardian thing to do Irma."

Well, an enemy of hers gave a tribute to her guardianship, thankfully it was more convincing than that of a friend's.

Irma was then filled with the manipulation of the moon.

"Well Lord Cedric," she began taking steps closer to his cell. "Some would say it a weakness on your part to NOT do away with me."

Cedric looked up at her with a cocked eyebrow and was taken aback by her willing nearness.

"I mean," Irma continued, now inches from the bars, "I am just a seventeen-year-old girl, naive and overly trusting. To top it all off I'm lonely. Now, from a villain's standpoint, thatwould be like a fat cat with broken legs covered in barbecue sauce. A sitting duck without defense. Why would Meridian's most feared second in command not take up that chance?"

Irma looked at him with confident eyes and a hand on her hip as she stood just feet away from him.

Lord Cedric hesitated to come nearer.

"You call me weak little one?" Cedric repeated and took a menacing step forward.

Irma looked at her fingernails in a show of overconfidence.

"Yeah," she returned, looking up at him. "I guess I am good lookin'."

Cedric had shock all over his face, then it quickly reverted to a scowl.

"I am not weak guardian," he hissed.

Lord Cedric then changed his form to his true appearance. That of a towering, half snake, half man with sharp teeth and long talons. And with his transformation, he zipped to the bars in a show of power.

But despite that Irma still stood close with a smirk on her face.

"All that I am saying Cedric," she began, looking into his cat-like eyes, "is… What is preventing you from snapping my neck now?"

She turned her shoulders to him and tossed her hair so that he could see her neck. Irma was just short of asking Cedric to grasp her neck.

Irma watched Cedric's face contort into many emotions and his fingers twitch in anticipation. Then, he smiled like a defeated puppy. Lord Cedric transformed back into the blond human form.

"Touché Irma," he told her, looking at her with big blue eyes.

Irma smirked, but released her hip. It was so hard for him to be evil when the moon is full. And it made him amusing and SO cute.

Irma laughed after her muse.

"You know what Lord Cedric?" she began, smiling like an idiot at him. "I think I like you better with a full moon over my head."

Cedric read her face for a mock or joke, to his surprise Irma's face was lit with a flush.

"The moonlight makes you look hansom," the water guardian grinned at him.

She chuckled, but let her eyes drop. Irma heard Cedric snicker at her.

"Am I really worth your time down here?" Irma heard the shape-shifters voice almost in her ear.

Irma looked up and Cedric was so close, she could almost name the hue of blue his eyes were. But she wasn't startled, she actually felt quite safe.

"What? You thought I come down here to ONLY tease the prisoners?" Irma returned, a sly smirk coming to her face.

The water guardian laughed.

"I take out special time to tease you," Irma let a flash of evil cover her face.

She then reached through the bars and stroked Cedric's cheek.

"With what could be," Irma smiled.

Cedric froze like a stunned fish at her touch. Irma's hand slid down his cheek to his neck. He was as warm and soft as he looked.

But Lord Cedric flinched and jumped back suddenly. Irma blinked, being shot out of sky. Thanks to her mastery over water, she had just accidentally soaked his shirt.

"I suppose I'm the one who needs the cold shower more than you do," Irma smirked and shrugged. "I'll see you around Cedric."

She sighed and took to her wings, zipping out of the prison.


This fiction was inspired by the Vienna Teng song "Blue Caravan", which CJzilla doesn't own. It's a different fiction for me. I usually post humor and nothin' too serious. Well, here's hopin' my fellow motherhopers like it. R&R. Tah.