The Need to Change 1/1

By TaCe

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Seriously. I'm flat broke and I owe Lisa like 15 bucks. That's a lot for a 14 year old, okay?!

Summary: So maybe I'm not the bookworm, the loser I once was. And maybe, my dearest friends don't see that I have changed at all. And maybe, just maybe, I don't care.

Dedication: To Gillian Bean, who won't stop IMING ME (coughcough) I love you!!!! And to Lisa, who I now have admitted to owing money (I hope you're happy!) and to Ana who beta'd it!!!! You're the best and I'm glad she didn't "sexed" them together... And to everyone else, I love you, review, and SMILE!!!! Until next time, campers! Don't forget that I'm SUGAR HIGH and have no idea what the HELL is going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Byez, TaCe

I'm supposed to be the sensible one.

I'm supposed to be the smart one.

The one who yells at the boys for being idiots.

I'm supposed to grow up and marry, and live out my boring life with an average husband, watching my friends cause trouble and be praised for it in the end.

I should be the freak, the bookworm, the nerd.

They know me as the one who doesn't play their sport, the one who spend all her spare time in the library.

That's who I'm supposed to be.

So why is it that that's not who I am?

And why is it that they refuse to see me like I am today?

I stopped visiting the library religiously at least a year ago. I grew curves, breasts, a truly womanly body. I lost my fear of flying, and stole their brooms on occasion to fly alone, free from their blindness.

I became exactly what they always wanted, because I wanted it too. I wanted to be like them, to be popular and athletic and perfect.

No one even noticed.

Except for the one who shouldn't have noticed.

He was supposed to hate me, to hurt me, to set me apart.

Instead, he took me into his arms and comforted me, providing protection as I sewed together the pieces of my shattered heart. He stood by me when they did not know I needed support. He always knew.

He knew because he looked.

I don't know where I'm going, and I don't know what I'll do when I get there, but I know that he'll come after me. He'll know when to come, not a moment too soon.

He knows because he looks. He opens his eyes and looks, and he sees when I need him, and knows when to leave me be.

He knows because he loves me.

So maybe I'm not the bookworm, the loser I once was. And maybe, my dearest friends don't see that I have changed at all.

And maybe, just maybe, I don't care.

Maybe I got more then I bargained for in this change. I changed for others, I changed for myself, and now I stay for him.

Because with him, I no longer need to change. I never did.