AN: This is a quick little story I wrote, it's kind of true but changed a little to fit the characters. This is set in season 5 so Chandler and Monica are together but are still a sercet, Joey and Rachel knows but Phoebe and Ross don't.
Disclaimer: I don't own Friends
The whole gang except for Joey and Chandler were in number 20. Rachel was sat on the couch reading a Vogue magzine while Monica was making pancakes. Ross, who was eating a bowl of cereals, and Phoebe, waiting for her pancakes, were sat at the table when Joey burst through the door.
"Joey, Monica hasn't made your pancakes yet so you don't need to rush" Ross said
Everyone was watching Joey as he stood there taking in some heavy breaths while holding onto the door handle, it was obvious to them that Joey was excited about something.
"Did you get an audition or a part in something, Joey?" Monica asked
"No," Joey said excitedly, "Chandler got hiccups"
"Yes," Ross said while standing up, "We need to come up with some jokes quickly"
"Where are you going?"
"We are going to do plan hornswoggle" Ross answered as he lead Joey out of the apartment
"Do you know what plan hornswoggle is?" Rachel asked
"No idea" Monica and Phoebe said at the same time
"Although," Monica conutined,"It's probably some joke they've being planning for awhile"
"Oh I forget, I better go and plan one too" Phoebe said, walking out of the apartment
"You didn't finish you pancakes" Monica called after her but she didn't return
"Mon whats going on?" Rachel asked
"You don't know" Rachel shook her head, "You've been with us five years and you really don't know"
"No, Mon please tell me" Rachel said
"Ok whenever Chandler get hiccups he can't talk so everyone plans jokes to torture him as he can't made his own"
"Why can't he talk?"
"I don't know,Ii think he said it hurts or something"
"So for awhile today he can't talk"
"Yes you're gonna make a plan aren't you" Monica said
"Yep see you in abit Mon" Rachel said walking out of the apartment
As Rachel closed the door she heard a hiccup causing Rachel to turn around and see Chandler opening his door.
"Hi Chandler," Rachel said smiling widely,"How are you?"
Chandler opened his mouth to reply but hiccuped instead.
"Do you want one of the magzines with womens underwear again?" Rachel asked as Chandler nodded his head,"You can't nod you have to say yes"
This caused Chandler to make a grumpy face after he tried to speak again only to do another hiccup.
"Ok no magzine for you then Chandler," Rachel said, her simile growing even bigger than before, "Bye Chandler"
Chandler waved at her as she walked down the stairs giggling waiting until she couldn't see him anymore to throw open Monica and Rachel's door.
Monica had started doing the washing up when Chandler walked in with a moody face on but failed when he kept hiccuping.
"I'll get you the note pad" Monica said opening a cupboard, getting the note pad which had a label saying 'When Chandler can't speak pad' on it and a spare pen.
"They you go" She said handing him the note pad, watching him write quickly on a page and giving it back to her.
"Your writing is really mess, can't you write it again but slow this time"
Monica heard Chandler making a noise, probably showing how annoyed he was, but still wrote it again and handing it back.
Sorry, Did you tell Rachel I can't speak? Chandler wrote
"Yes, everyone else was making plans so she asked me what it was all about"
You could have lied
"She would have found out at some point"
Yeah in hopefully another 5 years
Monica let out a small laugh before saying
"We better go to the coffee house, thats where they all would have gone to make there plans"
Can't we just stay here
Chandler wrapped his arms around Monica placing a kiss on her lips but they had to break away after he hiccuped.
"We can't do that," Monica said seeing the look in his eyes as he kissed her,"You can't even kiss without hiccuping half way through"
Chandler made a puppy face trying to make Monica change her mind.
"You know that doesn't work on me that often anymore so the answer is no," Monica said, "Let's go to the coffee house"
As Monica and Chandler walked down the street hand in hand, keeping an eye out for their friends so that they could pull apart in time.
Unfortunely they didn't she Phoebe spying on them, she was going to jump out on him even though she was now thinking that that was going to get rid of his hiccup instead and was about to leave but was shocked when she saw them having a quick kiss then quickly breaking apart from each other.
Phoebe was so shocked that she didn't notice her mouth was hanging open or that Joey was still on her phone asking how far away Chandler was from the coffee house so that they would know when to start their plan.
About 30 seconds later she told them to start their plan, deciding not to tell them what she had just seen.
"Ok Ross time to start go find a girl" Joey said turning off his phone
"Why me?"
"Because he would expect me to get a girl and most of the girls hear know me"
"Really?"
"Yep, go ask that one," Joey said pointing at some girl, "She is more you type"
"How do you know that?"
"She was using all these smart words while I was on a date with her"
"Is there anyone here who you haven't slept with?" Ross asked
"That one by the counter" Joey said pointing at her
"Ok" Ross said walking over to her
The girl told Ross no so he just wrote a random name and number on a post it note.
"Here he comes" Rachel said from where she was sat on the couch, she had been keeping watch the whole time.
As the door opened Ross started saying
"I got a date wish this girl Kaijia hornswoggle"
They knew it worked when they saw Chandler eyes widen and opened his mouth only to have a hiccup.
"Hornswoggle," Ross said slowly, "Anything fun about that Chandler"
This causing Chandler to almost have a hiccuping fit as he tried to laugh at the name and give a reply, Monica had to lead Chandler over to the couch then went to buy their coffees.
"You ok Chandler?" Rachel asked when his hiccuping fit was ending
Chandler nodded, not noticing Monica drag Ross and Joey away and telling them off for the hiccuping fit.
"I know you can't answer but can you tell me later why you won't talk?" Rachel asked
Chandler shook his head, making Rachel feel bad that he wouldn't tell her, only to see that he had pulled out the note and started writing. Chandler hand her the note pad which was a bit messy, cos of hiccups he got while he was writing, but was readable.
I'll tell you now Rach. It's really painful to try and talk, feels like my ribcage and lungs are going to collapse, and I always hiccup louder when I try and talk.
"Aw ok"
"Chandler, here yours and Monica drinks" Gunther said putting them on the table
Gunther stood up and waited, Monica already telling him that Chandler had hiccup, knowing Chandler was going to write thank you on his pad. He was right as Chandler quickly scribbled down a thank you so Gunther walked back over to the counter.
Chandler touched the cup to make sure it wasn't to hot then picked it up and downed the drink quickly.
"Chandler that must have been burning"
"It was" He croaked out
"You just talked, what about your hiccup?" Rachel asked
"Thats how I sovlve it, it's not the best way but it is better than waiting it out and let them try more jokes"
"I guess but I don't think Ross and Joey are," Rachel said which madde Chandler give her a strange look,"Did you notice that Monica dragged them off"
"No, I better go and check on them"
"Monica?"
"No Joey and Ross, they might need some help" Chandler said as he got to find Monica, Joey and Ross
"Rachel," Phoebe said rushing in, looking around to make sure Chandler and Monica weren't near by
"Phoebe what's going on?" Rachel asked
"Monica and Chandler are together," She said sitting down in the chair,"I saw them kissing in the street"
"Oh thank god" Rachel said
"What?"
"Their keeping it sercet, Joey knows so do I but Chandler and Monica don't know that I know but they know that Joey knows. Anyway Joey doesn't like to talk about it much so I have no one to talk to about this"
"Really, am I the last one to know"
"No Ross doesn't know that's why we need to keep it sercet"
"Why don't they just tell us"
"I don't know"
"Ok" Phoebe said
"Phoebe you got here to late Chandler doesn't have hiccups anymore" Ross said sitting down in the chair across the table
"Aw no" Phoebe said
"Didn't you do yours?" Ross asked suprise, thinking she had done her's already
"No otherwise I wouldn't have gone aw no then"
"Ok relax Pheebs"
"Hey Pheebs" Chandler, Joey and Monica said
"Couldn't you have kept your hiccup a little bit long" Phoebe said
"Sorry Pheebs next time I'll make sure to keep them longer just for you"
"Thank you
AN: Thanks for reading, It is true I can't talk when I get hiccups as it hurts like crazy but my friends don't try and do jokes when I got them but my mum did. Sorry for any spelling mitakes (I know I spelt mistakes wrong, it's a thing me and my friend did as a joke) and Please review
