~Monday 4:17pm~
I positioned myself facing the door as I waited for the computer to boot up. My stomach was tense but it always got this way just before I did this. No matter how many times I did it, it always felt wrong. On the other hand it was all I could do to scratch the itch.
My laptop came to life and I bit my lip to corral the butterflies in my stomach. I took a deep breath and opened the DVD tray and stuck the disk inside. The room was thick with my nervous tension now and I felt like I was going to pop. A few deep breaths took care of my shaky nerves and helped to get my emotions under control.
I brought the headphones to my ears as the video began to play and just like the last time I felt a quick rush of excitement. As much fun as I had playing the good girl, I loved the feeling of being naughty and there was nothing naughtier than this.
The title page of the video came on screen and I felt it again, the small push of sexual excitement. It had never happened to me before the video. Until I'd stolen this video from Puck's bedroom a few weeks ago I'd been happily oblivious to my needs.
Noah Puckerman had a dresser drawer full of porn in his bedroom. Normally this is precisely the reason I avoided parties at his house. Debauchery. Drinking, sex, marijuana, a perfect storm of teenage sin. I wasn't sure why I was even at the party but when I ended up in Noah's bedroom faced with a drawer full of porn for some reason I took one of the video's.
I hadn't planned on taking it. Why would I? It was just one of those things you do on a whim. Like buying purple flats because they were on sale, or ditching Mr. Schue's Spanish class to hide out in the library. Of all the things I'd done on a whim in my life, stealing Puck's porn had to be the most spontaneous.
It wasn't difficult to make the DVD disappear. The guy had a stack of dirty video's in his room. A HUGE stack, enough to make any normal teenage boy wonder if he was some kind of sex freak. He had the complete Horny Cheerleader Series. Volumes 1-15, volume 12, the volume on top of the stack, had three girls on the cover in cheap looking cheer outfits who looked suspiciously like me, Santana, and Brittany. The thought that Puck was probably recently getting his rocks off to a girl who looked like me made me a tad uncomfortable. I mean who wouldn't be. It was bad enough the guy knocked me up, now he was touching himself to my porno doppelganger.
Still, as repulsed as I was by his behavior I couldn't tear myself away from the videos. I continued to sift through the titles. There was sinful lust of every kind. Say what you wanted about Puck but he was an equal opportunity pervert. Black girls, Asians, Cheerleaders, Milfs, he had everything. It wasn't until I got to the bottom of the stack that I saw it. The source of my newfound sexual curiosity.
It didn't seem like much. The girl on the cover was simply average looking. Dark brown hair and tiny. She was wearing a short plaid skirt with a half open white top and a red bra. She looked sexy. She looked familiar. I'd never watched porn before but this girl reeked of familiarity. She looked like, like? Rachel. She looked like Rachel Berry. Rachel had worn almost the exact same outfit when she'd given herself a makeover. The title of the movie was even more interesting. The Lesbian Schoolgirl.
I wasn't sure why I did it. One minute I was disgusted by Puck's depravity, the next I was offended that he was pleasuring himself to girls who resembled me and my friends, and the next I was intrigued by a porn star who bore a striking resemblance to a girl I hated. The next thing I did even freaked me out. I shoved the DVD into my purse and snuck out of Puck's bedroom and made a bee line for my car.
That of course was two weeks ago and since then I'd watched the video a half a dozen times. In the course of a few weeks I'd gone from Quinn the good girl. Well sort of good girl, I did get myself pregnant, to Quinn the porno watching pervert.
Finding private time to enjoy the thing was a problem in and of itself. My parents had bought me a laptop but in true nosy parental fashion they'd put parent tracker software on it so they can spy on what sites I visited when I surfed the internet. Of course I wasn't supposed to know this but I did. On the flip side of that it didn't regulate what I watched in the DVD drive. I could watch anything without them knowing what it was. And using the wireless headphones I'd gotten from my grandma for Christmas I was able to pop the video in without them being any the wiser.
Of course some security protocols were in order. With the headphones on I couldn't hear when anyone knocked on my bedroom door. For this reason I had to position myself facing the door so I could see if anyone came inside. Of course locking the door always helped but my parents had a key. Besides it was four o'clock in the afternoon, sitting in my bedroom with the door locked was suspicious in itself.
My parents had gone out for the afternoon to some kind of luncheon for my father's job and I was home alone. It was the perfect time to take a few Quinn moments as I liked to call them. Once the video started up all bets were off. My mind was intoxicated by the brunette beauty and her dirty behavior. I watched in silence while the video played, my body stirring with pulsing need.
~Tuesday 2:37am~
I glanced at the clock, two thirty seven am. I couldn't believe it I'd dreamt about her again. How many nights in a row could you dream about someone before it officially became weird? Two, three? If that was the case then six was clearly an issue.
Still I couldn't help myself. Every dirty thing my lesbian schoolgirl acted out in the video, (could you call porn acting?) was running through my mind every night. Every time I closed my eyes she washed over me. Tonight I'd woken up with my hand down the front of my sleep shorts. Was it natural to touch yourself in your sleep? Was it an unconscious act?
I wasn't sure what was happening but I was still wet. I was wet and my clit was pulsing with need. The feeling wasn't fading, it was like I was standing on the edge of cliff and the wind was the only thing holding me up. I couldn't stop the throbbing, the need was unlike anything I'd ever felt before. I couldn't help it, I had to stop it. I pushed my hand down between my legs intent to finish what my subconscious mind knew I needed.
~School Wednesday Morning~
I waited in the hallway near the computer lab with the ice cold Slushie in my hand. I felt a twinge of shame at what I was about to do but I was desperate. It was the only move I could make that would allow me to relieve the building itch in my brain. It was the only move I could make that would allow me to get the growing monkey off my back and allow me to maintain my pristine good girl reputation.
I was sick. I knew it. I'd spent all night planning this twisted spectacle and despite my growing discomfort and emerging shame I had every intention of following through with it. With my plan mere seconds away from fruition I couldn't simply turn away and back down now. No, that wouldn't do.
Santana rushed around the corner, a smirk the size of Texas on her face, and gave me a smile. "You're on," she told me. She had obviously had no problem with her portion of the plan. On the other hand she wouldn't be party to the secret portion of the plan, torturing people was business as usual for her. On the other hand from what I see from her and Brittany these days maybe she would be into it.
I had another moment of doubt and considered aborting. This wasn't normal behavior for a young Christian girl. Who did things like this? This was shameful. A shameful display of power that would embarrass even the most confident mean girl. Watching video's in secret was one thing but this was another. This was actively taking part in something that could only be described as perverted behavior. This would be bad if the truth got out. If anybody had any inkling why I was doing this they'd stone me with rocks.
My confidence wavered once again. I was on the cusp of aborting the plan when something inside me stirred for the second time. I held my breath as I watched Rachel Berry come strolling around the corner. My naughty schoolgirl. She seemed completely oblivious to everything going on around her. Her day was probably going great, she was no doubt peaceful and calm, content with her station in the high school regime. None of this mattered however. I was going to ruin it.
I gave the cup a squeeze and while holding my breath I tossed the slushie in her face. She froze in place and I watched the horror of my act hit her. I felt an immediate rush of shame and regret as I watched her eyes water. Was she going to cry? Her damp eyes turned to me with confusion and wonder and I knew right away what she was thinking. Why? Why would you do this to me? I swallowed hard and did the only thing I could. Answered the only way I knew how.
"Sorry loser. This is a no tranny zone." I raised my chin, smiled, tightened my pony tail and walked off before I had the urge to break down and apologize.
~Five minutes later~
After dousing Rachel in Cherry Slushie and endearing myself to Santana until our next inevitable blow up, I rushed to the girl's locker room and tucked myself into my carefully hidden cubby hole. It wasn't actually a cubby hole, technically it was an equipment closet. Coach Sylvester used it to store what she called 'essentials'. Cheerio's banners, confetti, and a smoke machine among other random stuff that I'd never seen her use. As head Cheerio I was required to carry around the key even though I've never actually had to use it. The room was positioned perfectly, it gave me a full unobstructed view of the locker room. It had a big wooden door with a window that had been painted over. I'd spent a half hour yesterday scratching off enough paint so I could discreetly peek out without being seen.
I can't believe I'm doing this. Crazy is the only word I can think to describe it. My palms were already starting to sweat, my underarms damp with perspiration. Was I really going to do this? Was I going to follow through with this evil, disgusting charade?
Before I could waver Rachel rushed into the locker room carrying a towel and a blue blouse. She hadn't wasted any time getting here today. She made a bee line to her gym locker all the while muttering incoherently to herself, no doubt complaining about my behavior. I watched her pull her ugly red and green giraffe sweater over her head and let it fall to her feet.
My stomach stirred again and I felt that flutter of excitement as she rubbed the towel over her flat stomach. My eyes hungrily roamed her tiny body, her dark skin glistening under the fluorescent light, her brown eyes shining. I watched in shamed silence while she unbuckled her pink butterfly bra and dried off her perky breasts. I bit my lip as her hands toweled her chest.
I felt the surge of excitement hit me hard this time. I couldn't deny it any longer. There was something wrong with me. I was spying on a half naked Rachel Berry, watching with lust filled eyes as she rubbed herself down. I was spending my nights watching stolen pornography starring a girl who looked like she could be Rachel's twin.
She let the towel fall to her feet and began to rub her small hands against her chest. My insides felt like they were going to explode and I squeezed my legs together tightly to fight off the tornado of need that was building in my body. This was getting crazy, I was turning into a sex crazed lesbian sex watching pervert.
The show was over just as fast as it began. She was re-clasping her bra and buttoning up her blouse and was out the door before I even had a chance to react to her absence.
I am such a dirty pervert. I scolded myself. Okay, I got it out of my system. I can move on now. I didn't need to do this again. I'd gotten my peek, it was over with. I would go home and destroy the video and reaffirm myself. I needed a boy. All I needed was to find a new boy to occupy my mind. I was being silly, I wasn't into Rachel Berry. It was just curiosity. Curiosity about what she looked like, and now that I'd seen I could move on. No problem. Easy fix.
I repeated this to myself while my heartbeat slowed and body temperature returned to normal. Never again. I would never do it again. I told myself this but even I didn't believe it. Something stirred inside me and I couldn't deny it any longer. Rachel Berry turned my world on it's axis and I'd been reduced to dousing her with Slushie's so I could see her naked in the girls locker room. No this wasn't over. No boy would fix this. I think I may be broken.
Okay so I've been wondering what would it take for Quinn Fabray to actually realize she's not like other girls. I always tend to write Quinn a little strange, sometimes crazy. So I'm making an honest effort to make her true to life. Unfortunately I simply love the idea of her being a slight bit insane. I think she's the best character on the show and far and away the most entertaining to write. So please review and let me know what you think. Or don't, I understand. Empty Pen09
