Author's Note: This story is very near and dear to my heart. Please don't be too harsh. Carlisle and Esme will go by mom, dad, mother, father, and Carlisle and Esme. This isn't going to be your typical story, but it is one that I love. This has some things to do with my family, and I hope you enjoy.
I walked around, pacing quietly as I waited. How could this have happened? We were careful, and I was sure this would never happened. Edward Cullen doesn't slip up. If that was so true, then why were we here? Why was I waiting for my girlfriend to tell me if she was right? I tried to breathe deeply as I ran my fingers through my hair, nearly ripping it out.
I heard a gasp and a choked sob come from the bathroom, and I closed my eyes. So it was true. I sighed as my heart fell into my stomach. There was no doubt in my mind that this was my fault. This was no one else's mistake besides mine and Lauren's. I started shaking my head, hoping this would go away. I sat down and put my head in my lap as I felt my heart pounding, knowing the words were coming. I heard the door creak open and I looked up to see Lauren's face streaked with tears. I waited, just watching her.
"Edward, I'm pregnant."She whispered, and just like that, my entire world was destroyed.
"Edward, you're only twenty-three! How do you think you two will be able to handle a child together?"Carlisle looked disappointed with me. I groaned internally. I knew this would be his reaction. "I say you opt for an abortion. You're too young for a baby, and a baby should not be brought into this world to unhappy and unwilling parents." I heard Esme gasp.
"So you think that instead of having a baby brought into this world and have something like adoption take place, that this helpless baby should just not have the chance at life?" I felt the waves of disapproval come off of her towards Carlisle. I pressed my head into my hands again and felt absolutely wretched as they started to fight.
"Stop!" I yelled. "Just…stop. This is going to happen one way or another. You know that she's the pastor's daughter, and I don't want her to have an abortion anyway. She's already told her parents, and they would disown her. I can't have her whole life destroyed because of my mistake."
"If she keeps this baby, her life is over anyway. At least you can move on if you don't have a constant reminder that you screwed up for the rest of your life." Carlisle weighed in.
"That doesn't mean we just get rid of it! What if my parents had done that? You never would've even had me." I growled, exasperated. My mother nodded, her eyes tearing as she came towards me, arms stretched out for a hug. I let myself be taken into her arms.
"I knew I raised my son right."She whispered in my ear. I grinned, but Carlisle scowled.
"You made your bed. Now you can lie in it." Carlisle said before stalking out of the room. I knew that he was disappointed in me. After my older brother, Emmett, got married so young, and Jasper, my younger brother, decided to go into the army, I knew he wanted me to step up and be the doctor. I was his greatest disappointment, becoming a musician and staying as far away from Medical School as I could. I screwed up and I did drugs for a while, but it never got serious. I slept with girls, and I got drunk, but nothing ever happened until now. I'd never even really been serious with a girl until Lauren, at least not emotionally. Lauren was the first girl I'd ever cared about. She was the minister's daughter, and he always hated me. He thought I was never good enough for his daughter and thought I was a terrible influence. I suppose he was right. We met in college at Brown during my senior year. She was 20 years old. We had only been together for 11 months when she found out she was pregnant. Mom and dad had to move back to Washington that year when dad's job was transferred to Seattle. He was one of the most renowned pediatric cardiologists in the country, and they needed him at Seattle Children's Hospital. I was left in Providence, Rhode Island with just me and Lauren.
Soon after, everything changed. I wanted to be there for Lauren. I wanted to do what Emmett had done, and get married young. I wanted to make her my bride and make sure that the baby was well provided for. I changed my entire life, and got enrolled in Business school at Brown, and worked as hard as I could. Laruen didn't want any of it. She said I had ruined her life, and that she couldn't do it anymore. She left college during the end of her Junior year, never graduating, and went to live with her dad in Barrington and I didn't hear from her for ages. I heard from a mutual friend that there were some problems with the baby, but I assumed they were really small. She would've called me if anything was really bad, right?
So I assumed she didn't want me in the baby's life. It made me disappointed and depressed beyond belief, so I threw myself into my work, killing myself to finish school as quickly as possible. My teachers said I was their most dedicated workers that they had, and I knew I needed to be. Even if I wasn't allowed to be physically present in the baby's life, I knew that Lauren needed me to pay the money. The baby was partially mine too, god damnit, and I needed to be some sort of a father to it. I wanted to be the father I never had. My father left my mother before I was five, but I remember the screams my mother emitted as he beat her senseless. At the age of six, my mother dropped me off at a fire station and never looked back. I needed to do something for my kid.
Time went on, and I never heard anything about my child. The months rolled on and still no word. I counted back the months, and knew that if the baby was on time, it would be about a month old. I knew I needed to call Lauren soon, if I could even figure out a way to contact her. Then came that fateful day.
It was the day my life flipped upside down for the second time in a year. It was a few days after Valentine's day. The baby must be a month old, I thought…if she had even had it. I was sitting in the Seven Stars Bakery on Hope Street in Providence. My phone rang, and I stared at the screen. It was an unknown number, one that I had never seen before. I picked up, my heart suddenly beating faster.
"Is this Edward Cullen?"A male voice, sounding sober, asked.
"Yes. And who may I ask is calling?"I asked, slightly unnerved.
"This is Doctor Carter of the Women and Infants Hospital of Rhode Island. We've got a woman here by the name of Lauren, and she's in critical condition. She's asking for you, but we advise you hurry. She's not looking like she'll make it."
"May I ask what happened?"I breathed, already gathering my things and standing up to go. I walked outside and hailed a taxi. It was a godsend that the taxi was there, seeing as there are never any in that part of Providence. Otherwise, it would've been a 20 minute walk home, then a drive to the hospital. I didn't care the cost right now, I just needed to get to her.
"It appears that she was in a grave car accident. We don't think she's going to make it." Dr. Carter said, rushed. "Listen, I have to go now to attend to Lauren, but please hurry."
I turned to the cabbie. "Women and Infant's Hospital. And hurry!"
I rushed into the emergency room, frantically looking around. I spotted a nurse at the front desk.
"My girlfriend is here somewhere, and I don't know where to go." I huffed, suddenly out of breath.
"Can I see your I.D.? Name?" She asked me, her apathetic attitude apparent. I showed her my I.D., and she copied my name into the computer.
"Lauren, Lauren Mallory."
"Fourth floor, room 462. Elevators are down the hall and to the right." She said, pointing. I took off running.
I breathed deeply as I opened the door. I was not at all prepared for what I saw. Lauren's eyes were nearly swollen shut, her body black and blue. She was intubated, and what seemed like thousands of wires were hooked to her. She cracked open her eye as much as she could, and seemed to smile a little bit. A lot of her body was bandaged, but her right arm was still free. She motioned for me to come over. I stood by her bedside and she grabbed my fingers. She wrote a simple message on the whiteboard in front of her.
"I want you to have her. She's beautiful and you'll be better for her than any of my family. Take care of her." She smiled slightly at me. For a minute, I was confused, and then the baby came back to my mind.
"What's her name?" I asked her, knowing I didn't have much time left.
"Noelle Amelia Cullen. Born December 17th, 2011. She has my hair, but she has your eyes."
I smiled. I could almost imagine our little girl. I was wrong. She wasn't a month old. Apparently, she was premature a month. I felt guilty at Lauren having our baby alone. I grinned knowing that I would be in my baby's life from now on. I held onto Lauren's hand, thinking of our baby. I couldn't wait to meet her. I noticed that Lauren was gradually losing grip. Her eyes closed, and I watched as her heartbeat stopped.
Everything was chaos. I was rushed out of the room as a crash cart was wheeled in. "Code Blue, Code Blue!" was called, over and over again. They tried to start her heart, but it was useless. She was gone.
I was completely alone. I realized suddenly that I was now going to be the primary care giver to a small baby that I had never met. Noelle. I needed to see her as soon as I could. She was the only thing I had left, and I realized that I would be taking this little child home with me. I sat down in the waiting room, taking it all in.
The doctor came out. I knew what he was going to say before he said it.
"We did the best we could. I'm so sorry for your loss. Is there anyone we can call?" Dr. Carter asked. I shook my head. "Well, she left you with custody of Noelle. I've taken care of Noelle since before she was born. She's a fighter, that one. If you'd like, I can take you to her…unless you'd like to wait for a while to take it all in."
Hm. That struck me as odd. That made it sound like she had been through a lot. How much had Lauren not told me? I followed Dr. Carter blindly away from the ICU, and walked into the Pediatrics Unit. I was assured several times that Noelle was not hurt, but that they were just keeping her overnight for observation. I walked past all of the rooms.
Finally, we got to a room with a very small bed in it. I noticed a baby, fast asleep peeking out of the blankets. I smiled as I saw Lauren's hair, and I walked quickly over to her. She was very small. I knew that she was a month premature, but still, she was tiny. I ran my fingers through her wisps of light blonde hair, and she started crying. I stopped, startled. I looked at her for the first time with her eyes opened. She yawned and it dawned on me that something about this child was not right. Something about this baby was very different.
Noelle had almond shaped green eyes. Her arms were short and she was slightly pudgy. Her nose was a little flatter than other babies, and her tongue seemed too big for her mouth. Her eyes had little white spots in the green, and her head was slightly too small. I stared at her as she reached up for me. I let her little fist hold my pinky finger. Something about my child was vastly different from other babies, and though I had all the signs, I couldn't accept it.
"You do know, right?" Asked Doctor Carter, who I had forgotten was in the room. I didn't answer. I was stunned into silence. I shook my head, wishing that the answer was different. He took that to mean that I didn't know.
"Edward…" he started gently, "Noelle has Down Syndrome."
