VGA: Okay, so basically, this is a crack fic that makes absolutely no sense. Just like the title says, it's lists 101 ways to annoy, piss off, anger, disturb, and freak out the Great Kratos Aurion.

Oh, and the asshole next to me is my muse, Announcer Dude

AD: I'm being held here against my will

VGA: Do I need to put the shock collar on again?

AD: NO!! Please don't!!

VGA: Anyway, I'm gonna list twenty annoyances per chapter, making this a five chapter fic. Well here it goes. Announcer Dude?

AD: Here's Chapter One

VGA: Good boy! (Throws a rice krispie)


Chapter One

1. Follow him around like a lost puppy

2. Spray paint on all his suits, "Real Men Wear Purple"

3. Tell him the "circle of life"

4. Send a herd of wildebeests to run him over

5. Threaten to kill him with a squeaky sword

6. Go into his room at night with a noose and a shotgun. If he asks what you're doing, claim you were sleepwalking

7.Stick your finger up his nose and claim there was "something shiny" in there

8. Yell, "Rip off artist!!", kick him in the shins, then run away as fast as possible

9. Offer him some Bazooka Bubble Gum

!0.Tie him to a chair and force him to watch all the episodes of Hannah Montana

11. Ask him if he wants to see the gun show, then show him your biceps

13. Address him as Sir Piss-A-Lot

14. Whenever he kicks someone's ass, say, "Damn right! That'll teach that piece of shit to mess the Kratosnator!!" (Unless you're the one whose ass he kicked)

15. Chase him yelling, "CHOOOOOOCOLAAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!!!"

16.Slap him with a rubber chicken

17. Send him a Chuckie doll for Hanukkah

18. Leave a note on his desk saying, "I know your secret"

19. Send him a bowl of tomato sauce

20. "At least I don't have faggish glittering fairy wings!!"


VGA: So what do you think?

AD: I think something's wrong with you

VGA: Who asked you? Anyway, ideas are accepted. Although, I can't make any promises. If you have some ideas, be specific. I get confused easily.

AD: Review! And leave a cookie for me.