If misfortune had another definition, it would be "nowhere else to go with no money and consistent abuse, topped with utter stupidity and regret;" if misfortune had a picture next to its definition, that picture would be of me in my…"work" uniform. I'm a hooker…there, I said it. Well, more like a stripper. I worked in a local erotic club that sat comfortably along a busy highway called "Shades of Desire." It was a nasty place: perverted drunkards with or without unsuspecting girlfriends/wives, beer stains that no one bothered to clean up, the constant smell of sweat and sex. Add seizure-inducing strobe lights that could make you go blind within minutes; ear-numbing bass music and you've got yourself the lowest of low places to ever visit on Earth.
A man named Erwin Smith managed the place. He was middle-aged yet impressively attractive, but had no respect as a pimp for his lesser rankers. To him, we were just toys to be played with who earned him quite a fat wallet, and then thrown aside like trash. Lucky me, I was one of those toys. I could never bring myself to rebel against him. Despite his abuse, Erwin gave the rest of his "employees" and myself food, drink, shelter, comfort (as in, a bed to sleep in that wasn't meant for the unspeakable acts I had to commit during my shift) and some money only to be used for emergency necessities.
The whole thing was obscene. I never considered this as a lifetime career. I wanted to go to college. I wanted a more fulfilling, well-paid career; I wanted to find a nice man to love and get married; I wanted to settle down in a nice middle-class home and raise a child together with him. But none of that could come true so long as I was a destitute prostitute who set out after her parents died of Hay Fever to support herself.
As I continued my slutty dance on my assigned stripper pole, I caught a glimpse of a short man walking in. Being impressively clean-cut, his nose wrinkled at the sight and smell of the place. I couldn't blame him. The short man wandered over to the bouncer to make his request. Hmph, I guess even filth can't stand in the way of being horny, I thought with slight irritation. Snorting, I nearly flung myself into a spin around the pole but closed my eyes to prevent dizziness.
When I opened them, however, the bouncer was standing right in front of my post. Oh no… "C'mon, sweetheart," he pulled me too roughly off the stage, "Mr. Rivaille here wants you to show him a good time." The short man stood behind the bouncer, offering me a suggestive smile. I gulped, my heart skipping a beat. This Rivaille made a brief skim over my body with those sunken lidded grey eyes of his; I was wearing a strapless, black studded push-up bra that caused the perfect amount of deep cleavage with red lace around the rims. My underwear was black too, with red lace and a covered in a heart design. On my legs were garters that clasped to my black fishnet stockings and held them in place. Finally, black stilettos enclosed my feet. Rivaille finished skimming over me before speaking.
"She'll do perfectly," he purred. My cheeks turned red. I forced myself to respond, fearful of being criticized for "slacking" and possibly beaten by the pimp himself.
"W-What can I do for you, Mr. Rivaille?" I asked him shakily. Taking his arm, I slowly led him to one of the back rooms. He sat on the bed, while I locked the door and then stood in front of him, waiting for a response. Without the flashing strobe lights of the club, I could see that he was incredibly handsome…perhaps more handsome than Erwin. As I studied his face, however, there was a sudden sinister glint in his eye.
"Simple, darling," he continued to purr, "a lap dance, head, and then I want to full-on fuck you." My blush deepened to scarlet. I'd never given someone such an obscene gesture before! But I didn't want to disappoint him. I had to tell him the truth, lest he leave here unsatisfied. Slowly, I got onto his lap, straddling him with my legs.
"My apologies, Mr. Rivaille," I murmured softly, "but, I've never given…er, "head" before." He wrapped one arm around my waist and caressed my leg with the other. His touch was rough as he squeezed my thighs, causing me to wince. A dark chuckle gurgled in his slender throat as I began my little dance.
"Mmmm," he moaned. I could feel his excitement beneath my underwear. I blushed more, too focused on what I got myself into to enjoy the mutual pleasure. He was quite…big. God, and this man wants to be inside of me too! I screamed internally. Honestly, it wasn't supposed to be that horrible of an ordeal; I'd lost my virginity on my first night here, to some senile man who took as much pleasure out of groping me as he did being inside me. Naturally, he was not my first choice in who I wanted my first time to be with, but I had to play by the rules of this sinful establishment if I didn't want to lose my job, money and comfort.
Finally, once he was satisfied with my performance, he stood up with me. "Really, it's not as complex as it sounds, little girl," Rivaille cooed, tickling my chin. "I'm sure you have one helluva lacking gag reflex." As he explained in sickening detail how the act was carried out, he undid the belt of his pants and stripped them off. His boxers had a clear protrusion in the center.
"Ma-Mr. Ri-Rivaille..." I stammered. When he took away his boxers… My breath hitched. "Mr. Rivaille!" I involuntarily covered my tomato-colored face with my hands, turning slightly away.
"Just one, little girl. It will be over before you know it." He tugged my arm so that I was pulled dangerously close to his erection. "You have a very beautiful mouth, sweet girl," he purred again with his face close to mine, tracing my lips, "why not put it to good use?" He kissed me longingly and quite roughly. Genuine terror must have been evident on my face, because after the kiss, he raised a brow in almost annoyed question. "Oi, what's the matter with y-"
"I have a terribly sensitive gag reflex!" I blurted out. Rivaille was in just as much shock as me, but perhaps for different reasons. "I-I'm sorry, but…there are plenty of other women here who excel at just that sort of thing." I didn't care if I got caught rejecting a customer's request; I was terrified that his…would choke me to death! It was the last possible way I wanted to leave this world, much as I often wanted to leave it! "My greatest apologies, but I just can't!" Confusion smothered Rivaille's features, but shortly thereafter, his eyes flamed with rage.
"Shit! Well, you leave me with no choice then," Mr. Rivaille growled. He harshly gripped my arms, sinking his fingertips into my flesh, and threw me onto the bed with such force that my head collided with the headboard making a loud THUMP! "I'll just have to fuck you senseless instead!" In seconds, his shirt had come off and his naked body was already skin-to-skin with mine.
"P-Please, Mr. Rivaille, I-"
"It's not about what you want though, is it little girl?" he growled. "Make one objection, and I will have you reported to the manager of this shitty establishment!" he shook me. I gulped, tears quickly welling in my eyes. Unable to find my voice, I just nodded. Careful not to rip them, Mr. Rivaille undid my bra and removed my underwear. He glared at me all the while, but with a smirk on his face. "Hold on tight, little girl…you're in for a wild ride even if it kills you!" I gasped…but I couldn't retort! His threat to tattle to Mr. Smith about my inability to fully satisfy his needs weighed down too heavily on my shoulders. A gulp sunk deep into my throat. Nodding, I hung on to him and braced myself. He entered my body without any proper preparation and went at it like a wild animal. It was more painful than pleasurable, but either all the pleasure favored him or he seemed to take great pleasure out of my pain. I screeched in agony, causing Mr. Rivaille to respond by plowing his lips into my mouth to quiet the noise…and consequently, go extra hard.
He was a natural dominant.
Afterwards, he got dressed, left the money beside me and exited the room. "Despite the fact you disobeyed me," he resumed his purr-speaking, "I rather enjoyed our time together." He made an evil grin. "We should do it again sometime." I only stared in horror without responding. As soon as the door to our room closed, I looked down at the covers. All of what just happened was spinning dizzily through my head. I felt nauseous; I felt like crying; I needed a bath. Thankfully, showers were provided for performers in each room, so I slowly slid to the end of the bed.
When I stood, I felt something warm and wet between my legs. I looked down…my thighs were painted red. It wasn't my time of the month. Slowly turning to the bed again, my eyes widened and I let out a gasp in horror: there was blood where he had his way with me. I covered my mouth. The tears finally spilled. Oh my God! With that sickening sight forever in my head, I rushed to the bathroom as fast as I could with the sudden feeling of soreness between my legs. I caught a glimpse of the rest of my body in the mirror: I was covered in bruises, hickeys, bites and scratches, some of which bled.
"What did he do to me?!" A lot of it was a blur because I had my eyes closed from the relentless pain. "I can't go out again like this, even with a shower." But I took one anyway, a slow one. I at least wanted to be clean for my next…customer. The hot water stung the wounds and especially my nether regions. I whimpered at the feeling. The soap was no help. Only shampooing my sweat-soaked hair felt the best.
I got out and took the towel to gently dry myself. I still felt dirty, but I had to go back and continue "performing." Oh well, at least they're not all like that. Dressing back in my lingerie and applying a fresh coat of makeup, I sauntered back out to my pole.
A few more hours went by as I resumed my suggestive dance. However, I began to notice an unmistakable pattern in requests: the dancers around me were suddenly picked more often than I was. It wasn't a huge deal at first, as I thought that perhaps the men got bored of waiting for me to finish with Mr. Rivaille…or, vice versa, as the case was. But now every man who came into the club passed by me on purpose. The bruises… I thought, the marks. I wasn't stupid; Rivaille had branded me, a sign that I belonged to him. As if I was his own personal stripper that he could come back to again and again to mercilessly fuck. But I prayed that he hadn't told Erwin about my unwillingness to comply with that certain request of his. It would surely be the death of my "career," and possibly, me.
A few more hours passed, and I was still being avoided like an ugly duckling at the petting zoo. And that's how I felt: with all the telltale bruises and scratches, I was just like an ugly duckling, deformed creature that no one wanted to have in their presence. I gradually stopped dancing, and just stood there as the incoming men flocked to the prettier swans. What was the point if I was no longer the object of their attention? It made me feel like crying more. But I couldn't because it would seem unprofessional…and no one would want a crying stripper. It wasn't something that turned men on, unless they had a strange fetish for that sort of thing. Maybe tonight I'll cry while I go to bed, I noted to myself, slowly getting off my pole. Just as I was about to consider clocking out early to do just that, another brunette man entered…
There he was…the youngest regular at "Shades of Desire." Hair brown as chocolate and eyes the brightest green/turquoise I'd ever seen. He had such a pure innocent face, almost like that of a child. The smells didn't seem to bother him as much as Rivaille; it only caused his thick, dark brown eyebrows to furrow quite a bit. The man made his way to the bar to request a few shots without a single glance at the entertainment. I noticed his wardrobe was quite tasteful like Rivaille's. He wore a white button-up shirt that had the first two buttons unclasped and a dark brown vest over it. His pants were a dark shade of grey. I found my mouth slowly turn up into a soft smile. He has such a gentle aura about him, I thought. He must be dating with good looks like that! Whatever woman is with him sure is a lucky girl.
Finally, the man idly watched the dancers on their poles but made no indication, facial or body-wise, that he was interested in being pleased…save for frequent pink cheeks. That mystified me. Why would he come to a stripper's club and not want any part in the action? If he just wanted a drink, there are plenty of other bars in town…
Curiosity getting the best of me, I slowly made my way to him. He didn't notice me until I said something. "Hello, there," I smiled, speaking in the sweetest voice I could muster despite my grief.
"Oh! Hi." I must have taken him by slight surprise.
"May I…be of service to you?" The man's gaze startled me for a moment when we made eye contact, due to seeing those gorgeous blue-green eyes up close.
"Uh, n-no thanks, miss," he tore his eyes away and focused on his drink, "Er…just visiting." I bit my lip nervously. So, he is in a relationship? Forgetting the brands on my skin, I placed a light hand on his. He jumped slightly. "Oh really, now?" I cooed, casually scanning him up and down. "Are you…seeing anyone?" His eyes met mine again, but he was silent for a moment as he tried hard to regain composure.
Shifting uncomfortably, "No…not at the moment," he replied shakily. Yes! He's single! A coy smile formed across my ruby lips while my eyelashes batted sweetly. "Well, at least tell me your name, handsome." I slowly ran a hand up his chest as I spoke.
"E-Eren… Eren Jaeger," he replied shakily. I giggled.
"My, Eren, you certainly are a cutie." I leaned in to brush my lips against his cheek. He was taller than I expected, but this gave me an excuse to try out some suggestive leverage. I secured my left foot onto the bottom rim of the stool on which Eren sat. Wrapping my arms around his neck securely, much to his shutter and blush, I snaked my other leg up so I could sit on his lap. There were hoots, hollers and surrounding cheers that embarrassed the poor man even more. "How about we go to one of the back rooms and have some fun?" His eyes widened even more.
"W-Wait, what are you getting at?" he started freaking out. I noticed that there was no sign of being turned on; though it might have been too subtle to notice in the poor lighting. I could fix that.
"Shhhh," I soothed him, running a hand along his cheek, "I just want to show you a good time. You know, so you get your money's worth." I winked again.
"I don't even know you!" Now he was just making excuses.
"You don't have to know me in order to get what you most desire," I purred in his ear. One of my hands moved down to his crotch and gave it an affectionate massage. He quivered and moaned, latching his hands onto the counter. There was a sudden bulge where I was massaging. Perfect. I then began to grind softly on him. He moaned even more.
"P-Please…s-stop," he begged softly as I kissed his neck. "Y-You…"
"Oh my fuck, get a room before it's too late!" A tall blonde, brawny man yelled from the forming audience. Suddenly, Eren jolted upright.
"What?! No!" he screamed.
The buff blonde, named Reiner, taunted the brunette. "What's wrong, afraid of a little pussy, boy?" He laughed with his friends. "Seems we got ourselves a little virgin here." Afraid that Eren was going to either get away or start a fight at that remark, I quickly got off of him and pulled him to one of the back rooms.
"Hey! What the hell…?" he shouted. "I need to get back at that jackass!"
"No, you don't, sweetheart," I said. Arriving at the room, I tugged him in and locked every possible lock on the door. "Right now," turning to push him on the bed and lie on top of him, "the only focus here is you and me." I smiled sweetly again. Yet his brows knitted together.
"I don't want this!" Eren pushed me off without hesitation, causing my body to collide with the mattress below as he headed for the door. "A drink was all I needed. Not vulgar taunts and advances." I stared at him incredulously.
"Then why did you come here, when there are plenty of other bars in town?" He was about to respond when those beautiful eyes fell on my body: predominantly, my chest and shoulders. They widened a little and his mouth opened in slight awe; not in a "you're hot I suddenly want to fuck you" kind of awe, but a…different kind; perhaps sympathy. Then it dawned on me: my bruises, the scratches… Oh God no!
"What happened to you?" he asked bluntly. I instinctively placed a hand to my chest in a feeble attempt to cover myself up and looked away.
"It's nothing," I mumbled. The mattress sank a little as Eren climbed back onto the bed to get a closer look.
"Holy shit, you're covered in bruises and cuts!" His exclamation was the final straw for the ugliness I felt to return. In embarrassment and anger, I suddenly lashed out.
"Why not announce it to the whole goddam world?" I shouted. He was taken aback. "Why not get a large flashing sign that says you got stuck with the ugly duckling?"
"Whoa, whoa, I didn't call you ugly!" Eren yelled back. His brows knitted together, making his eyes almost frightening. "I was just being observant."
"You think I don't know about this? That no one wants me because I look like I just got mauled by a tiger or some shit?!" Fighting back tears, I lowered by gaze to my thighs. There was a brief silence, as Eren took a deep breath.
"I just want to see if I can help," Eren said a little calmer. I glared.
"Help…you want to help?" I growled.
"Why are you getting defensive?" I shot him an angry stare, the tears threatening to fall. I tried to form words, but I couldn't. My brows slowly un-furrowed and curled from sadness. The more I stared at Eren – a man who was young, handsome, and from the looks of it had a fulfilling career – the more I felt like total shit by comparison. Finally, I looked down, allowing the tears to flow, and buried my face in my hands. Violent sobs erupted from my throat. Eren was beside himself with surprise and confusion. His features softened upon watching me break down before him. He sat there, and I assumed he was allowing me the space to let it all out.
So I did, and I told him how it all started with the arrival of Rivaille.
An hour later, Eren spoke. "Hey, I'm sorry." His voice was soft, an arm reaching out to me. "I should've known better than to sound insensitive to the fact that some douchebag practically abused you." But I avoided his hand, curling up so that my knees were against my chest.
"I will only let you touch me," I whispered, "if your hands are so full of intention that every brush of your palms feels like you're writing a novel on my skin." He looked at me with slight confusion, so I had to clarify: "You will not touch me unless your intentions are gentle."
"Of course I'll be gentle. Those scratches and bites look very deep in your skin." My teary eyes met his again. They were soft like his features. "May I see?" he asked quietly. I bit my lip, and then reluctantly let my knees drop. He scooted closer and smiled reassuringly.
"Some of them seem to be healing already, at least." Eren looked up at me, his gentle smile still present. He gazed over the injuries a little more, daring to place a light kiss on a couple that were on my arms, neck and upper chest. My breath hitched slightly. "Sorry," he chuckled, "I didn't mean to surprise you." I made a small giggle too.
"N-No it's alright." His eyes lidded slightly. A hand slowly came up to brush my cheek, and I unconsciously nuzzled into it. It was the most affection I've ever received from another person since beginning my "career." Eren blushed. "May I…embrace you?" I smiled sweetly and nodded.
"Of course." He sighed in relief as his arms slowly enclosed me, tugging me into a warm and inviting chest. It smelled like jasmine and pine with a hint of nutmeg. One hand stroked my hair gently while the other held my back. It was so…paternal. Nurturing. I felt myself wanting to cry more, but I tried to push it away.
"It's ok," he whispered in my ear as if reading my mind, "let it all out." He nuzzled my cheek with his nose.
"Eren…" I whispered shakily. Before I knew it, sobs began to erupt from my throat once more. The tears came down in rivers this time, and I clutched Eren's clothes for dear life. In response, his head rested on mine.
"It's all going to be ok," he cooed. "No one is going to harm you like that again. I'll make sure of it."
"I hate my life! I just want to die!" I cried into his chest.
"No, you don't. You have the future to look forward to…"
"You're wrong!" I nearly shouted, suddenly pulling out of his grasp for some unknown reason. "I don't have anything to look forward to! Look at me, Eren! And look at you!" He glanced down at his well-kept appearance. "You're so successful in life! Money, nice clothes, perhaps a nice lady waiting on you to love her! And here I am…just a…" I choked on the word; could I really say it; the name I despised so much, a name Rivaille called me as he practically raped me, the term Erwin often used as a form of endearment?
"A what?" Eren encouraged quietly, brows knitting together in concern. A spark of sympathy also appeared upon realizing my intention to compare us. I had to say it.
"S-Slut," I stuttered out the word. "A dirty slut, a prostitute, a whore, whatever you want to call it…with NOTHING!" I screamed the last word. I didn't care if anyone, not even Erwin, heard me. "My parents are dead, my relatives want nothing to do with me now that I took this job to pay for basic needs, and this is all I have to live off of. I can't even buy beautiful clothes with the minimum amount of emergency money I am given, like other girls wear!" Eren looked at me as if surprised by the revelation. This made the frustration I've kept inside so long to boil over in my intestines.
"But, don't you have a home?" Eren quickly cut in. I glared at him.
"No!" I shouted angrily, "don't you get it?! I'm poor as fuck, having to live in one of the upstairs apartments for the rest of my life!" His eyes widened. Then, before I could stop myself, I blurted out more than I needed to: "someone like you can never understand what it feels like to live in such poverty, with only the bare essentials! You don't know what it's like to be afraid of dying the next day because you don't get enough nutrients in your diet, and how sleep is such a foreign concept!" Eren seemed to be getting angry, but I couldn't find it in myself to care.
"That's why I want to help you, dammit!"
"WHY?! I've done nothing but attempt to have sex with you!"
"So? Your eyes give it away; they reach out to me and ask for it without you having to speak! The tears in your eyes say it too!" I stayed silent, just glaring him down while fists clenched the sheets. "But you know what? Fuck this shit!" he continued yelling at me, "if you don't want my help, just say it! You don't need to be a rude bitch about it!" A low gurgle bubbled in my throat, but something else deep inside me recoiled in fear. "And you know what else? You're right, I don't know what it's like…and I was about to feel sorry for you! But now that I see that this is what you become, forget it!" He leapt off the bed and marched to the door. "So yeah, I feel sorry for you…REALLY sorry!" he growled.
"Fine, see if I gave a damn, you…" but he slammed the door before I could finish.
Oh my God. It dawned on me what I had done: I drove away my only source of rescue. He…really wanted to pull me up from this hellhole; his eyes told me as he scanned over my wounds, regardless of him opening his mouth to say so. And I belittled him…yelled at him…even cursed him out. "Why…did I have to hurt him?" I thought out loud. "He was truly sincere about what he said…about wanting to pull me out of this predicament." I choked on a fresh set of sobs. "And all I did was speak harshly towards him." I drew my knees back up to my chest and glanced at the clock. 3:00 AM. It was time to officially clock out.
I quickly headed to the apartment-like halls on the second floor of the club that were assigned to each performer. It counted as our "room and board." But at least it wasn't as shoddy as the bedrooms for sinning. They were more hospitable and inviting, even elegant. I decided to take another shower before going to bed…and cried 50% of the time. The soap still stung. When I got out, I dressed in some more comfortable sleeping attire and nestled under the warm, cloud-like covers. It was comforting to feel the soft material on my worn and tattered body.
Nevertheless, my tears continued to spill. Why? my mind asked over and over as louder sobs erupted from my throat, echoing throughout the entire room. "I wish this was all just a nightmare! I want to wake up!" I cried. But most of all, I wanted to see Eren again; to apologize for the way I'd hurt him, to ask him to come back to me, to look at me with those glorious turquoise eyes of his and tell me everything will be ok. I wanted to be comforted by him, held by him again…perhaps even loved by him. Being a stripper was no way to earn love…it was all an act so that the men could get what they wanted and then leave only a couple seconds later.
I WANT TO DIE.
With that last thought, I fell fast asleep with tears drying on my face and pillow, at the same time hugging the pillow to me…pretending that it was the man who fruitlessly attempted to rescue me.
The next morning was rainy; it made me a little happier because I adored the rain as I dressed in a comfy pair of distressed jeans and a pale pink shirt that I tied above my midriff. Then I tied my hair up in a messy bun and slipped on some auburn heeled boots. With our "activities" only happening in the evening, I set out to do some shopping with the money Erwin had given me. I smiled meekly as a thank you. With that little bit of money, I attempted to browse the mall for an affordable clothing store, wet umbrella in hand. People stared at my markings that I tried to cover with makeup, but I didn't care. Yeah, I'm labeled. So what?
After walking a few minutes, I managed to find a small thrift shop. They had some cute tops and bottoms there; nothing truly fashionable, but it was all I could afford. I smiled at one print of a cat with words that read "I'm cute, wuv me" below it. "Awww," I mused out loud. Right beside it was a denim skirt. I smiled softly and tried them on in a dressing room. The shirt rode a little high, just above my waistline, and exposed my left shoulder. I smiled fully; it was the most precious ensemble I'd ever seen. I didn't feel beautiful, but cute. I smiled in the mirror. I'll take it.
Quickly checking out, I clutched my bag in one hand and the open umbrella in the other. Yet I didn't head back; instead I decided to enjoy the weather a little. I danced a little, humming an upbeat song, and for a while I forgot all about yesterday. A car came whizzing by, but I paid it no mind…until, to my misfortune, it passed through a large puddle and soaked me to the bone. I screamed as other people fled the splash, dropping my umbrella in an attempt to feebly cover myself with the shopping bag and my purse that held my money. The next thing I heard was a screech, and I assumed the driver felt pretty bad about what he or she did. Frantic footsteps ran up to me.
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" a male voice exclaimed. "Are you ok?" After rubbing the drops out of my eyes, I looked up…and came face to face with familiar gorgeous, blue-green eyes. We gasped in unison.
"You!" we exclaimed at the same time. Eren recoiled his hand from my shoulder.
"W-What the…h-hell w-was that f-for?" I shivered. "Y-You did th-that on p-purpose, you…!"
"I didn't mean to!" Eren shielded me with his umbrella while he retrieved mine.
"B-Bullsh-shit!"
"Really, I didn't! Do you want help?" I growled at him.
"Y-You've h-helped enough alre-eeh-AH-AACHOO!" I sneezed.
"Come with me, you're soaked and are catching a cold." He grabbed my arm and attempted to pull me to his sleek convertible. I glared; yet another sign of his luxurious lifestyle.
"N-No!" yanking my arm away, "I'll g-go b-back to…ACHOO!" I jumped as another sneeze erupted from my body. Eren sighed exasperatedly.
"No, you're not!" He reached out to me, scooped me up bridal style and carried me to his car. Letting my legs go, he opened the front passenger door and gently set me in, with my things at my feet. I pouted, wanting to reach out and sock him the face for doing so much damage to me. But I couldn't find the strength in all the shivering I was doing. Eren got in the driver's seat, closed the door, tossed his wet umbrella in the back, buckled up and began driving.
"ACHOO!" I sneezed again.
"What were you thinking, wandering around in the storm like that?" he asked sternly.
"N-Not about y-you, that's for s-sure. And l-lo and beh-hold, who soaks m-me in f-freezing water but Y-YO-ACHOO!"
"Jeez, I already said I didn't mean to!" At a stoplight, he retrieved a spare blanket from the back and laid it on me. Against my better judgment, I sprawled it out over me. It helped a great deal. My sneezes died down.
"Oh, so if it was s-someone else, you would not be as s-sorry?" Eren sighed again.
"Look…after thinking about it more, I feel awful about what I said yesterday. I was being an insensitive jerk not only to your injuries, but also your financial and living state. I deserved your yelling at me." For a moment, this confession took me aback. My features softened. "That being said," he cautiously reached to gently touch my arm, "I still want to get you out of there." I looked down at my stuff sitting on the floor.
"After the way I spoke to you, though…I feel like I don't deserve your kindness," I responded quietly. Silent tears began to form. "I am very sorry for the way I acted too." From the corner of my eye, I saw him glance over at me. Sympathy overtook his features once more, but he couldn't find words.
Finally, we arrived at his apartment complex, and he quickly led me to his elegant suite. I left my stuff in his car, save for my cell phone and the blanket he leant me. Once we got in, he started a small fire for me to sit in front of before going in his room to change into something more comfortable. The crackling fire not only warmed me, but relaxed me as well. I took a deep tranquil sigh and snuggled into the blanket.
"Do you want something dry to wear?" he asked me from the doorway to his room. I turned to answer him, but immediately flushed at the sight of him shirtless. His well-toned abs, chest, and broad muscle-bound shoulders made my heart race. Something below my waist also quivered.
"Oh...er, y-yes please," I replied. He made the smallest of smiles before walking back into the room. I turned back to the fire and put a hand to my face to feel the other source of heat in my cheeks. W-Wow, I thought. H-He's…glorious. The minute I finished this thought, he came back in a white shirt and stretchy pants, holding another dark-colored shirt and matching pants in his hand.
"Here you are," he said softly, setting them down at my side. I involuntarily smiled up at him.
"Thank you." His smile grew in response. When I stood up to change right then and there, however, he pointed out a restroom in the hall with a beet-red tint to his cheeks. "Oh," I giggled shyly, and rushed off, leaving the blanket behind. I returned to find him sitting by the fire with a dreamy look on his face. Is he thinking…about me? I thought hesitantly. It was only when I sat beside him that he noticed I had returned.
"Feel better?" he asked softly, wrapping the blanket around me once more. I nodded sweetly.
"Much, thank you." I started to lean toward him to kiss his cheek, but stopped myself. No, I can't do that. It's wrong; I'm not supposed to have relationships with customers outside the club. He chuckled and wrapped a tender arm around me.
"What, am I not attractive enough to kiss?" Eren joked. He noticed. I blushed even more.
"No, I…I don't know what I was leaning for, actually," I awkwardly lied, waving the situation off dismissively.
"Ok," Eren rolled his eyes. "But…" bringing his lips to my ear, whispering, "I wouldn't refuse a kiss from you. You are beautiful, after all."
"W-What…y-you really think so?" I whispered back. Eren nodded, the smile still plastered on his cute face.
"I do."
"Well…I think you are very handsome too, Eren." Eren hugged me closer to him, nuzzling my temple with his cheek. "And…if you can forgive me, I will gladly grant you a kiss from me some time." He chuckled softly.
"As long as you can forgive me…sweetheart." I giggled and nodded.
"Of course." Before I could say anything further, a hand reached under my chin to direct my gaze up to his.
"Now that that's out of the way…May I get another look at you, Princess?" he whispered. I giggled again.
"Of course, Handsome." His eyes scanned over my face at a different pace than his free hand; it predominantly roamed over my cheeks, to my lips and down my neck to my collarbone. Then they slowly moved back up to brush a lock of damp hair from my skin.
"To be honest, I don't know why you need all that makeup. You possess such great natural beauty." It was then I realized the makeup I'd worn to cover my sex injuries was washed away by the puddle. But Eren didn't bring them up again; he was admiring me as a whole, not just my imperfections. I flushed happily.
"Thank you…but unfortunately, it's part of my job."
"You know all of that makeup will damage your complexion in the long run, right?"
"I don't have a choice …if I don't properly prepare myself for work, I will be fired," I replied sadly.
"So leave that job." My face saddened.
"It's not that easy, Eren…I will lose all the money I've made. Erwin, my pimp, will keep it all for himself." Eren bit his lip. An almost eternal silence followed before he spoke again.
"Then…stay with me, darling." I gasped and my eyes grew wide.
"I can't do that…"
"Why not?" Eren's eyebrows were knitted slightly in annoyance.
"You shouldn't have to be responsible for and support me. What I do with the rest of my life is my choice." Yet Eren was inching his face closer. I couldn't bring myself to move away. I was drawn to him as well despite my words. "I don't want to be a burden…" my voice dwindled off.
Our lips met in a gentle touch.
Slow movements followed. We would part for only a split second – whether to lightly nuzzle each other, relish in the moment, or take a breath – before uniting again. In addition to the relaxing pitter-patter of the rain and dying crackles of the flames in the large fireplace, quiet kissing sounds began to fill the empty room. "You won't be a burden," he whispered in reply, "I promise." I made a small smile. His words and the kisses made my heart flutter, my stomach do cartwheels and cheeks to flush even more, if that was possible. Most of all, the slower our kiss, the faster I could hear our heartbeats accelerate. Eren scooted closer to me, causing my neck to crane back just a little so he could hold one of my hands.
We repeated that process for a few minutes before he deepened the kiss, making it last longer; I snaked my arms around his neck, freeing myself of the blanket, to pull him closer. This justified that deep inside, I wanted him. It was more than physical, especially because of the way he smiles at me. His tongue pleaded for entrance, and I let him in to explore my mouth, causing us both to moan softly. He wrapped his arms around my waist to pull me closer as well…a little too close as we tumbled to the marble floor; but Eren was there to catch my head from hitting it, instead quickly grabbing the blanket to use as a makeshift pillow.
Eventually, his lips trailed down my jaw and peppered my neck with kisses as well. "God, you're so beautiful," he huskily mumbled against my skin, "I just want to kiss absolutely every inch of you."
"Ah, Eren…" I moaned, lifting my head so he could have easier access. Eren's hands explored up the shirt he gave me and began to navigate my body at an achingly slow pace; he tried to memorize every curve, the softness of my skin despite the scabs that were now forming. He gave my full breasts a light squeeze and dangerously touched close to my womanhood, making me shiver. I felt him smirk, and giggled. "Getting quite touchy-feely, aren't we?" I mused seductively.
"Who's fault is that?" he teased against my chest, "you're just too damn sexy to resist." I giggled and he began nipping at certain spots delicately.
"It's part of the job." He hummed sensually against my skin.
"Well…if you will allow me," he slowly stopped kissing my skin to look into my lust-filled eyes with his own, "I would enjoy an even more in-depth admiration of you."
"I think a bed would be a lot more appropriate for that, though, don't you think?" I smirked. He chuckled.
"Of course, what am I thinking?" Once again, Eren swept me into his arms, but this time, it was more suggestive: my legs locked around his waist, arms around his neck and he held me there with one arm under by butt and the other intertwined in my hair, as though I were a child. As soon as I was at his level, he plowed my lips heatedly into my own and made wider, deeper kisses than before.
He briskly brought me to his bedroom as the sparks from the fireplace finally turned to quiet ash. The door shut behind us and then he gently lowered me onto what I found to be a king-sized bed. "Such a big bed for one person, isn't it?" I breathed when we took a small break.
"I wanted to save a spot for that special girl who was waiting on me to love her," he smiled while panting softly. My eyes widened. Was he talking about me? Was I really that girl? I bit my lip.
"And…have you found her?" I asked quietly with a smile tugging at my lips. He smiled lovingly down at me. One arm supported him as he crawled onto the bed on top of me, while the other hand reached to softly stroke my cheek.
"I do believe I have." Eren leaned down to kiss my lips. "And…I love her too."
"R-Really?"
"I am not one to lie about my feelings. The moment you looked up at me with those beautiful hazel – albeit tear-stained – eyes, I felt like I was under a spell. You are more than some stripper: you are a gorgeous girl with a smile that can make even the saddest soul happy again." I blushed.
"But…you haven't really seen my full smile. How do you know…" Another kiss from him cut me off.
"Call it a hunch that there is more to you than skimpy underwear on a desirable body. And rest assured that it's not just your body that drew me to you…it's also your humility." I smiled again at this, curving my arms around his neck.
"I love you, Eren…with a love that I've never felt for anyone, customers or family." He nuzzled my nose with his.
"I love you too…and it just grows more with each passing minute. And now that it's just the two of us and no one else to disturb us…I would like to show you just how much I care."
With that and another kiss, we slowly began to take off each other's clothes. The anticipation almost hurt as he set his warm, naked body on me with only my legs blocking our path to total bliss. "Darling, I want you," I whispered, "your smile, your body, your love, I want it all…" Eren was kissing my neck as I spoke. I felt him grin.
"I want that too…and then, every night, witness your perfection glow in the dark." I giggled quietly. Suddenly, he sat up a little to show me his size; it was long, with a most respectable girth. "Now then, my love," he gently warned me while stroking himself to keep his erection, "I must tell you that it will hurt. But I will be gentle." I grinned shyly.
"I know, sweetheart…I trust you."
"Good to hear." With that and once my legs granted him entrance, he slowly inserted himself inside me. His incredible size hurt for a moment and I squeaked in pain once or twice. "S-Sorry," he quivered, already overcome with pleasure as he felt my wetness, "just take a deep breath, little one…I will make it fit."
"Darling…it hurts, but I never said stop." He chuckled shakily and I began to moan as he got deeper and deeper. Once the entire length was inside me, Eren took me in his arms as best he could and slowly began to move so that I could get used to him. But I adapted rather quick, given my background.
"Now," he purred in my ear, "I will show you how I'm different from the rest."
I giggled lightly, "Don't say it…just show me you're different."
We gradually began to gain a pleasurable rhythm and the moans got increasingly frequent. "I love you!" I groaned.
"I love you too…and I'm NEVER going to let you go!" Eren hugged me tighter as he continued to thrust into me, sweet, loving and gentle…not too rough to hurt, but not too soft. When I opened my eyes, he was looking deep into mine. As gorgeous as ever! Before I was 100% sure what I was doing, I reached up to pull his mouth down to me so I could give him another passionate kiss, fingers raking through his hair with each pleasurable thrust.
Something about his touch made my soul shiver, my heart flutter, my body quiver…I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and realized I could remain lost forever in the precious moments he allows me to have with him.
Our lovemaking ultimately became so passionate in the less extreme sense, it was as if time and space were ending. "Tell me the things you want me to do to you," he whispered huskily. "And we'll see how many times I can make you c*m…even more than any of those filthy bastards." Gradually louder moans of pleasure, including "I love you"s and name groaning, quickly filled the room.
"Hold still, Princess…I'm almost finished." After an infinite amount of shiver-inducing, mind-blowing pleasure, I could feel his shaft throb as he finally spilled his seed into my womb. He screamed my name. It made me softly shriek his in return as I climaxed soon after…I lost count how many times, though. Riding out our climaxes, Eren whispered sweetly in my ear again: "You're so beautiful…when you c*m."
I couldn't believe this man was for real…and he was all mine. "Now…I want to sleep by your side."
"And you will…not just tonight, but forever." I was officially his. And all through the night, snuggled tightly at his side, I dreamt of him in colors that never existed. Never had I dreamt of any of my customers…but he was special. And would always remain special to me.
The slowly rising sun found us in a close, intimate huddle under the covers. Eren held me in his arms protectively as if I was the world's most valued treasure. I held him as close as I could in return; after our beautiful sex last night, I craved the smell of him on me more than anything. He found me when I was lost…and transformed my mind, pleased my heart, quieted my spirit and completed my soul. His body heat slowly took me over and I felt a small amount of weight on me. A familiar pair of lips began to caress my jaw and slowly cascade down my neck. It was lovely sensation, causing me to groan softly. "Eren." I knew whom those lips belonged to. When I felt a pair of eyes looking down at me, my own fluttered open.
"Good morning, Beautiful," Eren murmured as he lightly tapped my nose, his increasingly beautiful eyes staring down into mine. I giggled softly at the way he called me beautiful as though it was my name.
"Good morning to you too, Handsome." My hand slowly rose to caress his face. "Sleep well?"
"Yes. Did you?" I beamed.
"It was the best night's sleep I've ever had." He chuckled and kissed my forehead. "You are absolutely adorable."
"Teehee! So are you." As we gazed into each other's eyes, our surroundings seemed to pause; everything felt right with the world. I'd completely forgotten about the incident with Rivaille…in fact, I forgot about him all together.
"It's just you and me now," Eren whispered after awhile, caressing my face with his fingers, "and all the pleasure we can give each other."
"Yes, it is." I kissed his nose. "And forever it will be."
Unfortunately, the minute I spoke those words, my phone started vibrating from the nightstand. Oh fuck no. Sensing my sudden distress, Eren tried to lighten the mood once more by being playful. "No-," he groaned, holding me in place, "stay in bed with me." I giggled.
"I will, but I have to answer…" Reluctantly, Eren released me so I could retrieve my cell. Shit. It was Erwin. Sighing, I pressed the "Answer" key.
"Where in the fuck were you last night?" I heard a growl from the other end. Good morning to you too, you killjoy. "You weren't at your post, woman. Am I going to have to discipline you?" His form of discipline, of course, was kinky with whips and handcuffs, blowjobs and really rough sex. "As a matter of fact, Daddy needs your mouth, Princess," he cooed gruffly. I huffed.
"No, Erwin, you don't need to discipline me. I…got lost and decided to crash somewhere else for the night." Upon hearing Erwin's name, I saw Eren's body jolt up from its reclined position.
"You could've called me." I bit my lip. Before I could form a rebuttal, I heard him growl loud enough that I had to pull my ear away from the phone: "Now get your skanky sweet ass over here in five minutes or you're fired!" Then I gulped.
"That's not possible!" I gasped. My car was still at the club since Eren drove me to his apartment.
"That's not my problem! You will suffer the consequences for your actions!" A pause. "In addition," he continued, "we got a phone call from Rivaille requesting your services again. He pays excellently, and to stand him up, much less make him wait, would look very poor for our reputation." I could see Eren growing angry from the corner of my eye. "Now, come to Daddy," Erwin purred. "I can't stop thinking about you, and everything I want to do to you, everywhere I want to touch you." Just then, Eren snatched the phone out of my hand.
"Eren!" He hushed me with a light finger to my lips. Erwin heard me and immediately recognized the name of one of his young regulars.
"Eren Jaeger? Did you kidnap my property?" he shouted.
"Property?" Eren growled angrily. I gasped and covered my mouth with both hands. "Just who the hell do you think you are?"
"Her owner, shit-for-brains! Now hand her over to me before I have you arrested!"
"No!" Eren blatantly refused. His brows were knitted together so closely that they could have been touching. "You don't deserve to have her in your possession! All you do is treat her like trash."
"She's a prostitute, dumbass. What do you expect?"
"She's also hurt! Haven't you noticed the scratches and bruises on her body?" My breath hitched severely; I wanted to keep that a secret from Erwin.
"Stop it, Eren…" I feebly whispered, trying to retrieve my phone, but he held me back.
"I don't give a flying fuck about any of that. Now listen…" Erwin began, but Eren cut him off.
"No, you listen to me! The cuts, the bruises…Rivaille was the man who did that to her; he practically abused her!" He paused, waiting for a response, but it was silent on the other end. "Are you seriously going to let that slide?!"
"The contract states that I do not take responsibility for the injuries our workers dawn. If a little worn c#*t makes you squeamish, by all means lay her in my arms again." This sparked even more of a rage in Eren. Sitting beside the man I newly loved in his large bed within his luxurious apartment, I was nearly paralyzed with fear and shock.
"Why the fuck are you using such vulgar terms like that? Haven't you seen her? She's…"
"Don't try to be a hero, Captain PrettyEyes! If you don't return her to her rightful place, you will be forced to join her in punishment…though your discipline will be a lot more violent!" Erwin threatened the brunette. A long pause followed.
"Erwin…" Eren murmured through gritted teeth, "I don't care if you beat me, arrest me, or ban me from the club altogether." he took one of my hands in his. I slowly looked up at him to come face to face with his smile – and it was the most sincere and sweetest smile, with those enchanting turquoise eyes, I'd ever seen since I started working at Shades of Desire. "But no matter what," Eren continued, "I'm not going to allow you to hurt her. She's human. I will take care of her like the little princess she is…guide her like the gorgeous bird she is…and love her as she deserves to be loved. There is a lot more to her than sexuality and I want to discover it for myself. I will make her my everything in front of everyone, especially you."
"Jaeger, I'm warning you…" With a sudden rush coursing through my veins upon hearing this, I smiled the widest I'd ever smiled in forever and took the phone back.
"Don't bother, Erwin. Because…" I gave Eren a sweet wink.
"I quit."
Still maintaining eye contact, I hung up on Erwin before I could hear his rampage, blocking his number as well. Eren's gaze grew loving and happy, eyes glittering. "After all," I whispered, sitting on his lap facing him, "to be happy…we must not be too concerned with others."
"You took the words right out of my mouth, my love." I chuckled lightly. Eren embraced me tight in his arms as I wrapped myself around him, burying my face deep into his shoulder. Rocking side to side, he rubbed my back and gave an occasional kiss to my beaming cheek. I'd never felt so safe, so secure in my life. For once, I had the chance to feel like the innocent little girl I was, loved by many, before everything went to hell. The love that my new Master…no, my Equal…had for me, felt immeasurable. And I was sure he relished the feeling of being able to nurture and protect me.
I trusted him and I could tell with each squeeze and kiss that he trusted me as well.
From then on, he looked at me as though I was the only woman in the room during romantic dinners at restaurants, lazy strolls through parks and social gatherings. Both in public and in private, he respected me because he knew that to hurt me would hurt him that much more. Finally, in the bedroom…well, we had it all: Kiss me, lick me, love me, give it to me rough, pull my hair, don't quit, bite me, make me see stars, complete me, devour me, make my sins worth it.
THE END
