A/N: It's pure dialogue. Did it on purpose.


"The Slugs."

"No, no, no," James moaned. "That is a terrible name for a rock band."

"Why not? There was once a Muggle group called the Beetles," Sirius said defensively.

"It's spelled differently," Remus informed him.

"Why don't we just call ourselves the Moths then? Or the Cockroaches?" James demanded.

"I like the Moths," Peter said.

"Shut up, Peter!"

"Well, if you're going to go off every time I try to say something—"

"The Wizards," Sirius said.

"Do you want people to laugh at us? No, we need something better," James said, his eyes shining. "How about—Fire."

"That's no better," Sirius said.

"It's better than 'the Slugs'!"

"I'll get a dictionary," Remus said quietly. No one heard him leave over the shouting match.

"Why do we have to be insects?"

"Why not the 'Roasting Slugs' then if you're so intent on the idea of fire?"

"Or 'Broiled Moths,' Peter!"

"I like moths! Moths are cool!"

"Moths are just ugly butterflies!"

"Hey, how about 'Ugly Butterflies.'"

"Sirius, that's even worse!"

"Shut up!" Remus shouted, holding up the book. He hoped he hadn't woken up anyone in the dormitories. He held the dictionary up high, and they all observed him, mouths half-open.

"I'll open it to a random page," Remus said. He read the first word off of the page. "Marathon."

There was a chorus of "No."

"Marattia."

"What in the name of Merlin is that?"

"The type genus of the Marattiaceae, consisting of ferns having the sporangia fused together in two rows."

"Next," said James.

"Marauder."

"What's that mean?" asked Peter.

"One who roves and raids in search of plunder."

"Sounds like Sirius in the kitchens," James sniggered. Peter laughed along with him.

"I like it," Peter said.

"Me too," said Remus, and James nodded. All eyes turned to Sirius.

"Fine," he grumbled. "The Marauders."

He added under his breath, "Better than the Roasting Slugs."